Opinion |

In search of civil discourse

It’s not just kids making wish lists this holiday season. School boards around the country are making their lists, too. At the top: a return to the good old days, when they could focus on the needs of their students.

As I’ve written before, this has been a year of bad behavior, with parents commandeering school board meetings to express their anger — mostly about mask and vaccine mandates, but also curriculum matters, like instruction in critical race theory. As if the shouting and insults weren’t enough, school board members have endured threats and acts of violence. Social media has fueled the vitriol.

I can’t help but think about the late composer Stephen Sondheim, who wrote the perfect song for these times: “Send in the Clowns.” Some meetings have taken on a circus-like atmosphere, without any of the joy.

It’s why the San Diego Unified Board of Education on Tuesday unanimously approved a plan to implement a “Code of Civil Discourse.” The code, which was developed by the National Conflict Resolution Center, sets out communication guidelines that affirm the right to free expression when exercised in a manner that is constructive and respectful of different points of view.

Absent guidelines, we’re seeing discourse shut down, leaving the issues at hand unaddressed.

The “Code of Civil Discourse” was recently adopted as an aspirational goal by the San Diego County Board of Supervisors, following a series of contentious meetings. The school board will formally vote on adoption at its next governance meeting.

Richard Barrera is the San Diego Unified school board president. Before the meeting, Barrera said, “It’s so important for every public agency to model civility and respect … but school boards need to always remember that the way we conduct ourselves sets a model for our students.”

Barrera, who’s served on the school board for 13 years, still believes that people sincerely care about and have the best intentions for their kids, even if they fervently disagree with each other.

What’s different today, he told me, is that disagreement has led to demonization. If your beliefs are different from mine, then you are the enemy. He lamented the environment we’ve created, where it’s OK to level hate at others and to show our worst selves. We are sowing division to advance our political agendas — even in school board meetings.

I asked Barrera which issues are most contentious. At the top of the list, unsurprisingly, are mask and vaccine mandates. Just recently, a Scripps Ranch High School student — who sued San Diego Unified over its vaccine order (because it doesn’t allow religious exemptions) — asked the U.S. Supreme Court to intervene on her behalf.

Parents are also fired up about a requirement that California high school students complete a semester of ethnic studies in order to graduate, starting with the class of 2030. They worry it paves the way for teaching critical race theory in schools. CRT is a practice of interrogating race and racism in society and the way it impacts people. Opponents allege that CRT levels blame at White people for racial inequity and advocates discrimination against them to compensate for past injustices.

If that’s not enough, the district is also grappling with a rise in anti-Semitic acts and Islamophobia.

As Barrera described his world, I couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would want to serve on a school board today. It deepened my admiration for people who step into and stay in this important role.

With the turn of the year just ahead, I asked Barrera, “What gives you hope?” His list was long — and encouraging. Students, he said, are optimistic and engaged. They see and seize opportunities for change, whether it’s weighing in on school curricula or leading a successful petition drive to rebrand Junipero Serra High School.

At the students’ urging, the school board voted to change the school name to Canyon Hills High School. The school’s mascot also changed, from the Conquistadors to the Rattlers. Students were concerned that honoring Serra ignores a brutal period in California’s history, when Spanish conquerors assimilated or killed millions of Indigenous people.

In his daily work, Barrera sees that students want to be the drivers of a better world. They are eager to lead and willing to listen. And so, we as parents have an obligation to create a culture of civility, setting up conditions that allow students to succeed.

His advice is sound: Let’s be humble and get out of the way. The kids can figure it out. And then they can teach us.

Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, a San Diego-based group working to create solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. To learn about NCRC’s programming, visit ncrconline.com.