Ivanka Trump says she’s one with the water; and as a result, in touch with her soul.

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In a recent podcast interview with tech bro favorite Lex Fridman, the former first daughter blathered on about how she surrenders herself to the ocean.

“I feel like when we get busy and when we’re running around, it’s easy to feel we’re so in our head and we feel sort of so consequential like in the context of even our own lives. And then you find yourself in a situation like that, and I think you feel so much more connected knowing how minuscule you are in the broader sense,” she rambled, as transcribed by Hola!

“And I feel that way when I’m on the ocean on a surfboard. It’s really humbling to be so small amidst that vast sea.”

Ivanka’s pseudo-psychological babble comes on the heels of her father amplifying calls for his perceived enemies to undergo televised military tribunals. The criminally convicted ex-president will accept the Republican nomination next week in Milwaukee, a city that he’s reportedly called “horrible” behind closed doors.

Though Ivanka is rumored to be thinking about joining her dad’s reelection efforts, she’s still absent from the campaign trail.

Apparently sensing opportunity, Tiffany has tried to swoop in during Ivanka’s absence. The youngest Trump daughter attended the last day of her daddy’s hush money trial and has convinced her new husband and father-in-law to be unofficial campaign surrogates. (Tiffany’s hubby, Michael Boulos, is the son of influential Lebanese-born billionaire Massad Boulos.)

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Ivanka, meanwhile, is fulfilling her #SocialiteBarbie dreams. She’s spent the better part of her year attending events with her new bestie Kim K, including Jeff Bezos’ space-themed birthday party in Beverly Hills and the Fountainbleau’s Vegas opening.

Ivanka also attended a pre-wedding celebration for two of India’s wealthiest families, though she was snubbed by her liberal sister-in-law Karlie Kloss.

With an extravagant social calendar, Ivanka doesn’t seem to be living a bohemian lifestyle. The real estate scion resides on Miami’s “Billionaire Bunker” island, where she owns $56 million of property with her fellow nepo baby husband, Jared Kushner.

But like many rich people, Ivanka enjoys the resources to pretend. She’s full surfer chick now, just following the waves.

“When you’re like committing, you catch a wave, obviously sometimes, you know, you flip over your board and that doesn’t feel great,” she added. “But when you’re in sort of the line of impact and you’ve maybe surfed a good wave in and now you’re going out for another set, and you get sort of stuck in that impact line, there’s like nothing you can do. You just sort of sit there and you try to dive underneath it and it will pound you and pound you.” 

The lesson? There is strength in yielding to the tides of life. So beautiful!

With a newfound sanguine attitude, Ivanka tries to present herself as a sunny contrast to her volatile father and doofus brothers. But some family traits are persistent, such as grifting!

Ivanka’s endorsements of her father’s failed projects live in infamy, such as her breathless praise for Trump’s Ocean Resort Baja Mexico, which was never built.

A writer for the New Republic recently ventured to the lost property, finding “huge, muddy hole” with “no bungalows or hotel rooms or even beach chairs.”

Despite putting down investments on condos well into the six figures, buyers never got their money back. Ivanka, for her part, claimed she actually purchased a unit herself.

“We are developing a world-class resort befitting of the Trump brand,” she said in the introduction video, per the LA Times. “I’m very excited about it. I actually chose to buy a unit in the first tower.”

Never one to take responsibility, Trump always blames a range of outside factors for his business calamities, if he even references them at all. One of his favorite targets is a wind farm that was developed near his Scottish golf club. Trump has made a litany of outrageous claims about wind farms in his rallies and speeches, falsely claiming they kill whales and other forms of wildlife.

Like her father, Ivanka seems to have a problem with wind as well. Out of nowhere, she ripped windsurfing in her podcast interview, calling the activity “violent” and “manipulating.”

“I think in surfing, one of the things I love about it is I feel like a lot of water sports you’re like manipulating the environment, you know? And there’s something that can be a little like violent about it. Like you look at windsurfing,” she pontificated. “Whereas with surfing, you’re like in harmony with it.”

Oh yes, there’s Ivanka… always living in harmony. She wishes for peace on earth, from the top of a penthouse suite.

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