Joseph Kibler is a New York-based actor and writer who produces videos that touch upon living with cerebral palsy and HIV, among other things.
A video he posted this week has resonated with many. In it, he explains he was prompted to speak up after receiving a private message from someone “filled with hate towards me and my HIV status.”
He goes on to show himself taking his daily medication and says he wants to share a reminder with everyone.
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“The first letter in HIV stands for Human,” says a subtitle on the video.
“No human deserves HIV (or AIDS) no matter how they may have obtained it. Whether they were born with it (like me) or it found them later in life. No matter how you label yourself (heterosexual or LGBTQIA. No matter where you are from. We are all HUMAN.
“And we all deserve support and a chance to fight against HIV and the stigma it brings.”
The simple video has had over 42 K likes on Instagram and has had over 68 K views on TikTok.
“There will always be people who don’t understand”
Among those to comment were other people living with HIV.
“Joseph, I was diagnosed in 1986. God bless you. ❤️”, said one man.
Another added, “I didn’t tell my family because I didn’t want my mom to worry because she would see the hate. A chaplain in a hospital told my family, friends and coworkers before my heart surgery.”
Others expressed outrage that Kibler had received hatred for a condition he was born with.
“So someone was hating on you for the crime of being born?” said one person on Instagram. “That’s wild. Not saying anyone who contracted HIV deserves hate, but the fact that you had absolutely no choice just makes the targeted hate a real head-scratcher. What exactly did they want you to do differently? Not be born?”
Other people, some disabled, responded that simply being born with something doesn’t stop you from experiencing stigma and prejudice.
Kibler posted a reply thanking people for their support.
“Thanks for the love! The DM definitely didn’t bring me down today but I wanted to share the important part of the message without dwelling too hard on the negative hate message part. There will always be people who don’t understand or who fear something (perhaps it’s too close to home for them) and we can only control how we feel / see the world. ❤️ I’m very grateful and lucky for the life I have and being as open and authentic as I can be!”
Discovering his HIV status as a child
Kibler is pansexual and married to a woman. He has been an advocate for disabled people, and those living with HIV, all his adult life. He remembers revealing his HIV status to a room full of other young people whilst at theater camp as a teenager.
Kibler was the subject of a documentary when he was 21, entitled Walk On, about training for an AIDS walk.
@josephakibler Crip Tips No. 1 #sketchcomedy #disabled #crippletok #distok #disability #comedy #sketch #chronicillness #chronicpain #disabledtiktok #funny #ableism #parody #lgbtqia #alphabetmafia #fypage #foryou #disabilities #darkhumor #fyp #mockumentary #funny #selfhelp ♬ original sound – Joseph Kibler
He recently told The Body, “Growing up, I was told not to talk about my status. When I found out that I was HIV positive, I was 11. I found out by accident. A doctor who wasn’t my primary [care physician], who didn’t know my mom had not told me yet, just let it slip.”
Before this, Kibler just thought the medication he took and the hospital visits were related to his disability.
On the ride home from the doctor’s, his mom told him everything.
“Why I had HIV, that my father was unfaithful and that he contracted HIV, then he gave it to my mom. And, that’s what my twin brother passed away from. And then, that I can’t tell anyone [about my status] because kids are getting bullied and kicked out of schools and just the stigma around what it means to be HIV positive. So I stayed quiet about it for about eight years. I started to come out about it. Once I opened that floodgate, I couldn’t go back.”
Speaking out on social media
Kibler says that although he’s heartened by the support he gets on social media, the reaction remains divided.
“It’s been almost straight down the middle, 50-50, of people who are like, ‘I’m so glad to hear about this and that you’re educating people,’ and then just people who are like, ‘Ew, gross, what’s wrong with you?.’ The ignorance is still very deep. And, in the beginning, that was hard.”
He says that he takes great comfort from supportive comments. However, he also recognizes it’s not easy for everyone to be out about their status or talk about their disabilities.
“We have a far way to go with empathy. We need to get back to educating ourselves and allowing ourselves to find context. I’m very privileged in my disclosure, and I acknowledge that I feel safe. I feel like I have very low stakes in my disclosure, which is not the case for everyone.
“I would love it if there was a world where everyone could feel the safety of disclosure and feel that they were going to have the support to disclose.”
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