15 Signs that a Relationship May Be Over

Has there been a breakdown in communication? Do you want to share your deep thoughts, feelings, good news, bad news, hopes, and concerns with each other? Or do you find out more about each other only through arguments or posts on social media?

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If you are wondering whether your relationship is over, there's a decent chance that it is. That's because your intuition could be telling you something that your heart is not yet ready to hear. Even though the relationship doesn't feel quite right, your nostalgic view of what the relationship used to be could be keeping you from seeing what you should be seeing.

At the same time, you don't want to hit the panic button every time something is not perfect in a relationship. It's natural for any relationship to have its ups and downs. Solid relationships should be able to ride out such ebbs and flows.

So how do you tell whether a relationship is past its "Discard By" date? Keep on the lookout for the following 15 signs:

1. There's been a major betrayal: If there's been a total violation of trust such as cheating (if it is a romantic relationship), backstabbing, or abandonment during a time of need, it will be tough to restore trust in the relationship. Plus, major betrayals can say a lot about the betrayers and what they think about the other person. Remember the words of Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
2. There's a loss of trust in general: Even without a single, big moment, too many lies, broken promises, or manipulation attempts can, over time, erode trust. Relationships don't work when "But I am not sure if I trust you" has to be added as an asterisk to everything.
3. There's no emotional connection: Do you truly care for each other and deep down want to help each other? Or is it more like "meh" or even "How can I use this person?"
4. There's a breakdown in understanding and communication: Do you want to share your deep thoughts, feelings, good news, bad news, hopes, and concerns with each other? Or do you find out more about each other only through arguments or posts on social media?
5. There's a lack of respect: You know that song "A Little Respect" from Erasure? Well, if one person is showing a lack of respect for the other, you can pretty much erase any chances of a healthy relationship. Signs of a lack of respect include being hypercritical, frequently making others outside the relationship the focus, and making major decisions without consulting the other person.
6. There is resentment: There is a saying that "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." And no one will say, "My relationship is great, except for the poison that I have to drink each day."
7. There is a lack of effort: You could say that "effort" is the real "eff" word in relationships. Without making enough effort to keep the relationship going and thriving, there isn't going to be enough fun and other "F" words.
8. There is too much avoidance: For a relationship to work, you kind of have to want to see and interact with the other person. And if you keep sweeping difficult conversations under the rug, eventually that rug is going to swell to the point that things are no longer going to be swell.
9. There's a bad physical reaction when thinking about the other person: When you consistently feel fatigued, irritated, fatigued, or gaseous around the other person, either you should see a doctor or your body may be showing your true colors.
10. You don't prioritize each other or the relationship: You reap what you sow. Maintaining and growing the relationship can't be just a side hobby like pickleball or cheese rolling. It's got to be the primary focus. If one person is prioritizing something else, such as financial gain, social status, or other people outside the relationship, then the relationship is likely doomed.
11. Frequently thinking about someone else besides the two of you: If one of your minds keeps wandering to someone else, whether it's an old flame, a hot co-worker, that person on the airplane, or Justin Bieber, it's a bad sign.
12. You don't want the best for each other: If you are on a basketball team, you don't hope that your center or forward messes up during the game, right? Yet, too often in relationships, one person is envious of, competitive with, or wants to control the other.
13. There are widely divergent goals between the two of you: The two of you don't have to have identical goals. But there needs to be at least some overlap.
14. You can't see a future together: No one can predict the future for sure. But in the 14,000,605 possible futures that Dr. Strange may come up with for you, your partner should be part of most of them.
15. One of you said it is over or tries to leave: This may seem like an obvious, smack-you-in-the-face, McFly moment. But it's not uncommon for a relationship to get caught in the destructive "Please don't go" cycle, where people use the threat of leaving or actually leaving to gain leverage in the relationship. When people leave like that, rather than try everything to get them back, it may be best to leave them be.

Finally, again, listen to your gut. If your intuition is telling you something, have a frank conversation with the other person and bring to light any concerns as soon as possible. See how the two of you react and whether there is genuine mutual interest in each other's well-being, making amends, and saving the relationship.

If, on the other hand, there is avoidance, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting, gaslighting, future faking, or any other signs of disinterest or manipulation, you probably have your answer. Every day that you stay with the wrong match is a day that you could have spent with the right one.