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Gift-giving - that relationship-boosting, mood-enhancing holiday tradition - has a surprising new enemy: bargain-brained shopping. Since (and because of) the recession, shoppers have become obsessed with bargains, often at the expense of getting the best, most satisfying products - and that includes gifts. As a result, some of the most rewarding, relationship-bonding components of gift-giving are being shortchanged.
Budgets are essential - but bargains aren’t. If bargain-brained shopping was simply a refusal to buy without a bargain there wouldn’t be a problem - but it’s not. Deal-obsessed shoppers frequently compromise on gifts (not the right size, not a great color, not the preferred brand) because they’re on sale, not because they’re great choices. Additionally, time and focus that could be directed toward finding just the right gift are squandered on bargain hunting. When the thrill of finding a bargain supersedes the thrill of finding just the right gift, it’s more about the needs of the giver than the receiver.
Gifts that delight, that ignite or cement relationships, the ones that people remember, all have something in common. They reflect the giver’s personal taste and personality, and they showcase the emotion and empathy the giver has for the recipient. That’s a lot, and it takes focus - on the recipient, the product or experience being considered and the relationship. In fact, those moments of focus and empathy are part of the bonding that’s so strongly associated with great gift-giving. It’s not just the gift or the gratitude that strengthens relationships, it’s also the mental and emotional dedication that went into choosing the gift. As a bonus, studies show that the giver of a thoughtful gift gets even more emotional gratification than the receiver in the form of validation that they’re a caring person with significant bonds. Bargain-brained shopping strips us of the focus essential to great gift-giving.
Every gift doesn’t have to be a great gift. Most people have a spectrum of gift recipients. But for the most significant people on our list a thoughtful, empathic gift has tremendous emotional and relational power. Though it’s fashionable to think of gift exchanges as the commercialization of the holidays, gifts have and always will be a deeply effective, meaningful way to connect with others.
In my work as a consumer psychologist I try to understand how and why people shop and buy. In the scores of interviews and ethnographies I’ve conducted in the past 18 years here’s what I’ve found: shoppers today are less likely to lovingly describe merchandise to me and more likely to gush over savings than they were a decade ago. In other words, the thrill of the bargain has overtaken the thrill of the product and shifted our focus from what we’re buying to what we’re spending (often incorrectly called “saving”). Additionally, the shoppers most heavily focused on bargains actually spend more money, but are less satisfied with what they buy - including gifts.
For example, when asked to describe a recent favorite purchase, a woman I interviewed earlier this year excitedly listed the multiple sources of discounts she used to get a silk shirt at 70% off and never mentioned any aspect of the shirt that impressed her. By contrast I remember a shopper I interviewed a decade ago petting her new nightgown while describing every aspect of the product that she loved including the feel of the fabric, the cut and the brand.
Our love of bargains isn’t new - what’s not to love about saving money? But the psychological specifics of how we’re motivated by bargains evolves with socio-cultural shifts. For example, pre-recession shopping was more competitive and bargains were proof of shopping prowess - big discounts meant winning, not just buying. For shopaholics, bargains were a way to rationalize buying. Trust in businesses plunged during the recession so shoppers used bargains as reassurance of fair pricing. And as the economy improved and online retail gave shoppers an overwhelming array of options, people began to use bargains as a way to narrow things down and make shopping feel more manageable.
It’s easy to see how we became bargain-brained. At the start of the recession everyone was caught off-guard, especially retailers, who, in December 2007, were forced to unload bursting inventories of holiday merchandise by selling it at clearance prices before Thanksgiving. In the recession years that followed, retailers turned to bargains for survival. Today, knowing that bargains are one of the few sure-fire ways to generate interest in their products, many retailers price merchandise with an expectation that it won't be sold at full-price, therefore most of the promotional saving events prior to clearance pricing are simply planned price normalization - and frankly, nothing to get excited about. But most shoppers don’t know that and react with heart-thumping excitement or a fear of missing out - both of which lead to bargain-brained behavior where the emotional zing that so often accompanies shopping starts with a bargain rather than a great product.
So, here’s the secret to a successful gift-giving season. Set a budget, then liberate yourself from shopping for bargains and focus on finding gifts that strike an emotional chord in the recipient. You might have to work a little harder than just looking for the deepest discount, but the payoff will be immeasurable better. Happy gift-giving!
