The Beast Within Men

Co-Authored by Dr. Karima Joy

Do you sense that if you start liberating your authentic self, a wild beast may emerge?

In our last article, we advocated how men need more than ice baths and podcasts, which, while positive, are not an adequate response to the complex psychological life of men and the broader men’s mental health crisis. Instead, we invite men to truly connect to their inner landscape, as this is where true power and freedom lie.

Readers responded with stories of their trauma, clever jokes, and requests that we go deeper. One reader voiced a fear that if he were to attend to his emotions, a beast may come out and wreak havoc. He was tapping into an archetypal feeling that has been resonating with men for centuries.

Meet the Beast: The Story of Iron John (Hans)

In the early 1990s, Robert Bly shared a Brothers Grimm tale about a wild beast of a man.¹ Long ago in a faraway land, a king noticed that every time he sent huntsmen into the forest they would never return, so he declared the forest off-limits.

Eventually, a man and his dog are granted access to learn the fate of these huntsmen.

Approaching a lake in the middle of the forest, a giant arm emerges from the water and drags his dog under. The man returns with a group of men to empty the lake, and at the bottom of the lake, they find a hairy, wild man with iron-like skin. The wild man is captured, and the king declares that if anyone frees him, they will be sentenced to death.

One day, the king’s young son accidentally rolls his ball into the cage. The wild man convinces the prince to steal his mother’s key to free him in exchange for his ball. The prince completes the task, separates from his parents, and flees to the forest with Iron John to avoid the death penalty.

In time, the prince is initiated by Iron John to pursue several heroic tasks, and together they eventually save the kingdom from war. The prince welcomes Iron John back to the kingdom, which lifts the wild man’s curse, as he had been waiting for a pure-hearted soul to free him into his true kingly state.

Source: Art Created by Mark Shelvock

What Curse Was Iron John Under?

Iron John was unknowingly under a curse that filled him with anger, suffering alone in the forest and cage.

Jungian analyst James Hollis poignantly writes about how we live in a culture that heavily restricts men’s self-expression, which pressures men into silence about the impossible expectations placed on them.² He argues men have lost their wise elders to guide the rites of passage from childhood to manhood, leaving men to be governed by hollow role models, outer image, and society’s impossible pressures that destroy a man’s soul life. Unconsciously colluding in a culture of silence, men take their isolation, suffering, and grief to their premature graves.

In our clinical work, we have found men often fear not measuring up, and being perceived as dependent, weak, or a failure. In some circles, the idea of masculinity has been wrongly conflated with toxic or abusive behaviours. Some men fall into "nice guy" complexes, where they repress their feelings and "unleash their beasts" in problematic ways.

We hold so much compassion for men who feel unwanted and judged by society right now for being a man. We also recognize that the attempt to conform to impossible societal norms and unrealistic projections around gender identity is congesting men’s feelings and killing their consciousness. It is also limiting their potential to experience the full range of their humanity.

From Silence and Denial to Authenticity and Vitality

All was not well in the kingdom until the pure-hearted prince risked talking with Iron John. Those who are willing and open like the prince to forming an alliance with their wild spirit give us hope for the future.

Releasing the wild man can be understood as a metaphor for connecting with our true feelings, self-expression, and inner world. It may feel disturbing at first to confront what is there, but on the other side of the discomfort one can access new levels of growth, healing, and freedom.

Gender Essential Reads

How Biology and Culture Shape Gender Identity

Thinking About Gender

We are not suggesting people become violent or harmful with their beasts. With practice, one can learn to ethically and consciously harness this energy. There is a profound sense of vitality and aliveness that comes with listening to our bodies' cues, and honouring that we are multi-faceted organisms that think and feel.³ Living in alignment and harmony with our whole self is the definition of integrity and the antidote to suffering.⁴

Some important steps of the process include:

1. Finding safe and trustworthy people to tell your full, unvarnished truth. How you are doing matters. The best people to choose will care and hold your honesty without judgement or problem-solving.
2. Paying attention to the body. Often, the body is perceived as lesser than the mind, an object to cage and control. However, the body communicates essential messages in nonverbal ways. Observe and honor your wise ally.
3. Developing tolerance for uncomfortable feelings and opportunities to consciously release their energy. Exploring our depths enables the realization that we never choose feelings, only how we express them.

Marcel Proust advocates that if we want wisdom in life, we must go through a journey into the wilderness that no one else can take for us or spare us from. So, develop an active relationship with yourself and take responsibility for healing; when the beast remains ostracized, it can become a harmful outlet for unprocessed experiences.

If we want to stop the cycles of harm being passed down to future generations, men must break out of the prison of silence, examine their life patterns, and redirect their energy to foster change.

Locked in the cage, Iron John had no idea how different life could be. In alliance with the pure-hearted prince, he was welcomed back home to himself.

The keys to the cage are within reach.

Source: Dr. Karima Joy / Used with permission.

This article was co-authored by Dr. Karima Joy, MSW, RSW, Ph.D. Dr. Joy is a social scientist, therapist, and free spirit.

Dr. Karima's Instagram: @dr.karimajoy and LinkedIn