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10 Insights from Common Challenges

Personal Perspective: Finding inspiration in my clients' struggles and wins.

One of the themes my clients share most frequently is the challenge of dealing with life's pain. Here are the main insights I found in conversations with my clients.You might find them helpful for yourself or those that you work with:

1. You're not alone with those feelings

Many people have common worries of feeling lost and not knowing the best path forward. You are surrounded, right now, by many individuals who feel the same. They might cover it to project confidence, but they feel it nonetheless. They overcome these feelings with time and learn to be stronger because of their struggles. Always remember that you aren't alone in feeling the way you do.

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my insights
Source: crane dow/shutterstock

2. You are okay right where you are

Moving forward and developing in life is good, but it's also okay to take a break when you need to. Don't worry if your life isn't always moving in the direction you want. Putting unrealistic demands on yourself can slow important inner growth and development. All of us grow and change as we live our lives. Sometimes this happens quickly, and sometimes more slowly. Where you are right now is the best place for your journey forward - patience my friend, patience.

3. Struggles lead to new growth

Some of our most critical growing experiences come with setbacks and challenges. We would all like comfortable and smooth lives. But lives without significant challenges can also be lives without meaningful achievements, without growth. Situations that are troubling now can teach you new ways to interact with the world and open doors to greater accomplishments and peace of mind in the future.

4. New achievements come after setbacks

When you think back to times when you've made significant breakthroughs in life, remember how they often came after worries and stumbling blocks. For instance, before you landed that great job, you were unemployed or doing something you didn't enjoy. Or, you may have been feeling lonely and unloved before starting a new and exciting relationship. Your current challenges may be the first steps in your journey to greater fulfillment.

5. Accepting your feelings can help you grow beyond them

Resisting negative emotions can cause them to gain strength. It's counterintuitive but it's true. Placing extra focus on something you don't want causes it to occupy a larger space in your thoughts. This can make it harder to reflect on what's important and move beyond these negative emotions. When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, it's best to acknowledge their existence and accept that they are present, but don't try to force them out of your mind. Even negative feelings can lead to positive results. Continuing to live your life while allowing your fears and concerns to exist can help you develop as a person. Over time, these negative emotions can slowly recede as you grow into an expanded version of yourself.

6. Being alone can help you grow

Being alone can give you time to reflect. Private time away from the distractions of technology and other people can help you integrate your feelings and absorb the lessons your challenges need to teach you. Being alone while obsessively scrolling through social media feeds isn't really being alone. Try putting down the phone. Set aside some quality time with yourself to reflect on your life and what's truly important to you.

7. Your feelings can lead to profound meaning

Your feelings can lead you to new realizations and greater development. Sometimes negative emotions can result from your own expectations of yourself or others. Try to see beyond the surface feelings that are troubling you to appreciate their deeper meaning. Even negative emotions can serve as signposts to areas of your being that need attention. They can often lead to new realizations about the purpose of your life. View your emotions as helpful guides with important lessons to teach.

8. Be gentle with yourself

Always be kind to yourself and understand that you can't fix everything. Sometimes bad things happen. It's important not to always demand solutions to every problem. This puts too much pressure on you and is impossible to achieve in many situations. Don't beat yourself up over things you might have done differently. Accept that you are human and there are some things that are outside of your control.

9. Don't compare yourself to others

People often talk about the highlights and positive events in their lives. Rarely do they share or discuss their fears or challenges. This is especially true on social media. If you're scrolling through the feeds of your friends and acquaintances, it can sometimes make you feel like everyone's life is exemplary, and you're the only one who has problems. Comparing your life to the carefully curated image that some people present online isn't fair to yourself. Allow space to work through your own challenges without trying to match other people's whitewashed versions of their own lives.

10. Things will get better

Life is constantly changing, and some problems have a way of working themselves out. New opportunities can appear unexpectedly, quickly improving your feelings and setting your mind on new and exciting goals. This is another way of saying: stay positive. The universe can send pleasant surprises your way. Keep a positive expectation so you can recognize unexpected goodness and light when they appear.

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