Who's on First?
"You can be so inconsiderate."
"You are too sensitive."
"Then why don't you take my feelings into consideration?"
"If you
weren't so sensitive it wouldn't matter."
•
"You seem to really care about me only when you want me to do
something for you."
"You do too much for people."
•
"I thought you were going home because you were too tired to go with
me to a bar."
"I was. But Norman didn't want to come here alone."
•
"I'm awfully tired. Do you mind taking the subway home?"
(Silence.)
"You could stay over . . . "
(Silence.)
"I'll take you home."
(Silence.)
•
"Why do we have sex only when you want to?"
"Because you want to have
sex all the time."
•
"Relationships work when two people equally desire to give to each
other."
"Relationships rarely work."
•
"Do you love me?"
"Of course—; but I resent it."
•
"Why aren't you more affectionate?"
"I am."
•
"Couldn't we ever speak to each other without irony?"
"Sure."
•
"I love you, you know."
"Yes . . . but why?"
•
"Do you resent my advice?"
"Yes. Especially because you're usually right."
•
"Why do you like these paintings?"
"What isn't there is more important
than what is."
•
"Your taste sometimes seems strange to me."
"I'm a Philistine."
"A real Philistine would never admit it."
"I suppose you're right."
•
"Aren't you interested in what I care about?"
"Yes. But not now."
•
"We should be more open with each other."
"Yes."
"Shall we talk things over?"
"What is there to say?"
•
"Are you ever going to cut down on your smoking?"
"It's all right—
I don't inhale."
•
"Sometimes I get very annoyed with you."
"The world is annoying."
•
"Your cynicism is too easy."
"Words interfere with the expression
of complex realities."
•
"Do you enjoy suffering?"
"You can't work if you don't suffer."
"But we suffer anyway."
"I know."
•
"Do you think we ever learn anything?"
"I've learned what to do without."
•
"You're always so negative."
"I feel death all the time."
"Are you afraid of anything?"
"Not working."
•
"What shall we do for dinner?"
"It doesn't matter—whatever you'd like."
•
"Why don't you care more?"
"I do."
Lloyd Schwartz, "Who’s on First?" from These People. Copyright © 1981 by Lloyd Schwartz. Reprinted by permission of Lloyd Schwartz.
Source:
These People
(Wesleyan University Press, 1981)
