Attention-Seeking Bubba Wallace Throws A Tantrum, NASCAR Announcer's Vulgar Rant & Drunk Driver Gets Naked
You know, just when I thought I was gonna have to spend all morning talking about the weather and how dumb it was that I had to watch a NASCAR race in crime-riddled Chicago on Fourth of July weekend instead of Daytona, Bubba Wallace swooped in and threw me a bone.
A lifeline. A raft. A floatie! One of those cool red & white circle things that hang up on the wall on every single cruise in America that I feel like can't really be that helpful if things go south, right?
Regardless of what it was, Bubba threw it to me – to us – when he decided to once again, be just the most dramatic, attention-seeking driver in the garage. I mean, I LOVE him for it, but I know it drives y'all NUTS, so we're gonna ruffle some feathers today and get this second full week of July started with a bang.
We're also gonna talk about Tiny Tyler Reddick being even more depressed than he was last week, which I didn't think was possible. Chin up, Ty!
We'll also discuss NASCAR going electric (and woke!), the wildest trackside PA announcer you'll ever hear lob up F-bombs like it was nothing, and, of course, we'll do a quick check-in with the NASCAR WAGs after a big holiday weekend.
Whew. What a second-Monday-of-July spread! This is why this column wins awards. We don't wither away just because it's the dog days of summer. We grind our asses off for you fine folks. Let's grind!
Four tires, enough fuel to get out through the scary parts of Chicago without incident (another great weekend!), and maybe one of them Tesla charging stations for the new NASCAR car … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Dramatic Bubba Slams The Door!’ edition – is LIVE!
I hear you, Bubba haters, but …
Look, I get it. ‘Zach, we all hate Bubba Wallace! Stop giving that drama queen the time of day!’ Trust me, I hear you.
Hell, I read you! From Paul C., who emailed me just two weeks ago:
Zach,
Bubba Wallace has grown famous for creating drama and storylines in NASCAR for just about everything other than his driving and racing chops. I’d question whether he truly has the talent to be on the tour. So, please insert yawn here for anything Bubba Wallace related because most of his act is really old at this stage.
From Derek P., who chimed in last week after the Bubba/Almirola fight news broke:
Zach,
I don’t know who started it, but I’m putting my money on Wallace. He has form for this sort of behavior, and we all remember the ‘noose’ incident.
And, from Jon in Pennsylvania:
Bubba's time in the spotlight is running out and I'm sure he knows that. I'm betting that even woke Nascar is going to get fed up with him playing the race card practically every week.
Ya see? I hear you. I know. But … fellas, how am I not supposed to talk about THIS:
Bubba Wallace waited hours and hours to act like a pissed off teenager
I'll be honest, I was STUNNED watching that live. It may not look like much, but it was jarring in real time. The NBC broadcast was showing Bowman's in-car camera at the time, and I legitimately thought he hit the wall or something – that's how big of an impact it was.
Imagine my surprise (sort of) when they pulled up the replay, and it was actually Bubba Wallace door-slamming Alex into next week because Bowman wrecked him earlier in the race.
And by earlier, I mean like three hours prior. HOURS.
This happened before the rain delay. That means Bubba had to sit there for hours and hours after being wrecked – which, by the way, a billion drivers were wrecked yesterday – just to get his revenge on Alex Bowman … after Bowman WON THE RACE!
Who does that? Who door-slams someone on a cool-down lap after he won the race for an incident that happened hours ago?
It just feels so dumb to me. It almost feels staged. Like when Ricky Stenhouse Jr. waited around for Kyle Busch for legitimately three hours just to walk up to him, talk for 30 seconds, and then cold-cock him in the face. Come on, dude, seriously?
I love Bubba for the content. He makes this award-winning NASCAR column sing on a Monday. But this just felt so childish. So silly.
And then I remembered … Bubba HATES Alex Bowman, which makes it sort of make sense, but not really:
Let's talk about this Alex Bowman interview …
I had completely forgotten about that until last night! Whooooooooof, does Bubba hate Alex Bowman or what? Weird.
Bowman's a pretty cool dude, from what I know/my interactions with him. Weird guy to hate.
And you wanna know the worst part? Alex is probably one of the few drivers in the garage who you could door-slam into next week after a win, and he'd still apologize to you for it.
Which is exactly what happened:
Geez. Come on, Alex. Could you imagine if Bubba tried to pull that crap with Kyle Busch? He'd never do it with Denny Hamlin, because Denny's his boss, but just for a second, imagine if he did it with Denny? There would be hell to pay.
But Alex Bowman? Nothing. Crickets. Wild.
Anyway, I'm sure you guys will all have perfectly reasonable thoughts on Bubba Wallace today, so go ahead and share them with me! Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
Now, back to Alex Bowman …
The NASCAR playoff field is getting murky
See? Bowman's a cool dude! Guy just loves getting ripped off Bourbon and passing out naked by the john. He's just like you and me. Definitely just like me.
PS: I don't think he was kidding:
Different worlds, man …
By the way, him winning yesterday really doesn't help fellas like Bubba Wallace, either. New reader Boca Raton Barry actually somewhat forecast this happening last week:
Zach,
I've recently become a fan of your weekly MMPS column. There's something I'm not getting. NBC Sports keeps saying that every driver with a win is "locked" into the playoffs. But if all the remaining regular-season races are won by different guys who don't yet have wins, then there will be more than 16 race winners. So how is anybody with just 1 win locked in? Just trying to be logical here.
First off, welcome to the thunder dome, Barry! Glad to have you aboard. And you're a Florida guy? You'll do just fine around here.
Second off … Bowman became the 12th different winner yesterday at Chicago, which means only four spots remain with a little less than two months (minus the two-week Olympics hiatus, yuck) left in the regular season.
To Boca Barry's point, if five new drivers happen to win between Pocono this week and Darlington to end the regular season, the final playoff spot would then be determined by which remaining driver with only one win (the guys will multiple wins would be automatically in) has the most points.
It's almost happened before, but we've never quite gotten to that point in NASCAR. Not in this playoff format, at least. We also talk about it maybe happening right around this time every season, so Boca Barry is right on schedule. Nice work!
We'll cross that bridge when we get there, but certainly something to monitor over the next few weeks.
NASCAR goes electric, trackside announcer hates everything & depressed Tiny Ty
OK, let's kick this thing into a higher gear and get this show on the road, because I've got things to do and bills to pay today.
First up? I will DIE on the hill that the Fourth of July week NASCAR race belongs in Daytona. Always will. It's the Firecracker 400, and should be run in Daytona.
That being said, I'm glad they chose to unveil this disgusting creation in blue state Chicago instead of big, beautiful, free, red Florida:
You know the wokes at NASCAR HQ just LOVE this stupid electric car. They are GIDDY over it. Just can't stop smiling. They're gonna save the planet. They're smarter than all of us stupid rednecks!
Look, NASCAR ain't going electric any time soon, if at all. They've talked about doing it with a spin-off series, but not with the big boys. Whatever. I won't get too worked up … yet. I'd like someone to start an all-diesel series, though, just to counter the wokeness!
Who's in??
Next? You HAVE to check out this hot mic from down in the ARCA series:
Hey, f--k you, buddy! out of nowhere was such a shock to the system. Didn't see it coming. Neither did you. What a twist! The ARCA series really is the Wild Wild West. You never know what you're gonna get, but it almost always delivers.
Finally, let's check in with Tyler Reddick after his near-win yesterday!
The NASCAR WAGs had a great holiday!
Whooooooooof. That's two weeks in a row for Tyler Reddick. Guy is about ready to murder someone. Head on a swivel, everyone! And chin up, Ty! You'll win soon, I promise.
Here are a few NASCAR WAGs by the pool to cheer you up.
Take us to Pocono, ladies!