Choosing a Dream Honeymoon Over a Lavish Wedding

In October 2023, Oscar Avilez Marquina and Luis Lopez, newlyweds from New York, flew to Europe to spend two weeks on a city-hopping tour between Nice, France; Paris; and Amsterdam. JetBlue had just launched direct flights to Paris from Kennedy International Airport, and the deal was too good for the couple to pass on.

“Going to Paris has always been a dream for me and for Luis as well,” said Mr. Avilez Marquina, 30, who is currently unemployed. “I’m so happy that the first time we got to visit, it was together because that’s going to become a core memory that we’re going to look back on for years to come.”

The decision to have a trans-Atlantic honeymoon is one the couple prioritized after eloping on Feb. 2, 2022, at the Durham Courthouse in Durham, N.C., with two friends as witnesses.

“We had talked about having a wedding and what that would look like,” Mr. Avilez Marquina said. “And after many discussions and sort of understanding the anxiety of having one, we decided to go to a courthouse and focus on what we really love to do, which is traveling and enjoying each other’s company.”

Ultimately, the cost of having a bigger wedding drove the couple away from the idea, with Mr. Lopez estimating a $60,000 budget for a larger party.

“That’s basically what my student loans cost,” said Mr. Lopez, 30, an accountant. “I had to ask myself, do I get married or do I pay my student loans? And is it worth spending that much money on something that’s only going to last a few hours?”

Instead, the couple combined their travel miles and spent a total of $2,000 on their honeymoon trip.

The average cost of a wedding in the United States last year was $35,000, according to the Knot. Also, the average student loan borrower in 2023 owed $37,338 in federal student loan debt, according to the Education Data Initiative. With persistent inflation, paying for a lavish wedding celebration has become financially unattainable for some couples. However, many others have found that splurging on a dream honeymoon is more affordable and less stressful to plan than an extravagant wedding.

While thinking about a wedding to her college sweetheart, Haley Black, a full-time content creator, decided she didn’t want one. Her childhood fantasy was not a huge wedding. Instead, she dreamed of traveling and seeing other cultures.

So, in November 2022, Ms. Black, her husband, Mon’Darius Black, and their eight-person wedding party traveled from Shelby, N.C., to the Greek island of Santorini for a nine-day trip that included a small wedding ceremony with group activities followed by a honeymoon full of excursions and sightseeing.

“We didn’t want to spend a tremendous amount of money on a wedding. We looked at it like it was more about us rather than other people,” Ms. Black, 25, said. “Some people do see that as selfish, and while we had concerns about that, what mattered most is how we wanted to celebrate ourselves.”

When the couple first started considering wedding venues, the cheapest option they could find was $25,000. Flowers alone were $10,000. The total cost of their marriage and honeymoon trip was a little under $9,000. “We both have student loans, and we weren’t willing to go into more debt over a wedding to appease other people,” Ms. Black said.

Erika Hernandez, a wedding and elopement planner and the founder of the Greatest Adventure Wedding in Seattle, said that combining an elopement with a honeymoon was becoming increasingly popular because of its affordability.

“A lot of times, the couple just wants to include something that they really love doing together, like something they built their relationship off, and a lot of times that is traveling and adventuring together,” she said.

Couples choose honeymoons over weddings for more than just the savings. Many of Ms. Hernandez’s clients prioritize travel because they want to avoid the stress of preparing for a big event, are too busy with work and children, or prefer not to be the center of attention. “People rather spend the money on an experience for themselves than dinner for a whole bunch of people,” she added.

After Muna Yowell’s in-laws threw her and her now-husband, Dr. Jose J. Vargas Alvarado, an engagement party, the couple realized that they didn’t want a wedding.

Ms. Yowell, a 27-year-old data analyst, said the engagement party was largely about socializing with guests. On Oct. 7, the couple, who live in Dallas, married at a local courthouse and spent the evening with loved ones at a friend’s apartment.

Ms. Yowell, who is Palestinian, and her husband, who is Guatemalan, said they both did not feel right about holding a big celebration when the majority of her family lives in Palestine.

They spent only $100 on their courthouse ceremony, leaving room in the budget for a much larger honeymoon.

A week later, the couple flew to Hawaii for a week. “We went all out because we knew we could,” said Ms. Yowell, adding that the $5,000 trip involved renting a private sailboat, snorkeling, a helicopter tour across Maui and indulging in a fancy dinner every night of their stay.

“I’ve always heard that when it’s your wedding, you barely even get to eat the food that you paid thousands of dollars for,” Ms. Yowell said. “I didn’t want that. We wanted to be able to soak up the moment and really enjoy it with each other.”

Skipping the big wedding and going on a more budget-friendly getaway may have its drawbacks. Family members may be disappointed that they will miss the special day. However, Ms. Black decided that the advantages of saving money outweighed a few ruffled feathers.

“I don’t want to diminish the importance of family when it comes to celebrating big moments because I do love our families,” Ms. Black said, “but them witnessing us getting married is not worth us going into debt over a wedding.” The Blacks used the money they saved to close on a home in 2022 in Shelby, N.C.