Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, a lifelong Capital Region resident, served his country and his community while keeping a part of his life hidden from family, friends and co-workers until his death.
His obituary, published on June 8 in the Times Union, detailed him as a retired fireman in Rensselaer, one of the owners and founders of radio station WHRL-FM in Albany and a chef at the East Greenbush American Legion Post.
He was a retired Army Colonel with the 10th Brigade who received many awards, decorations and commendations. He was a life member of the Vietnam Veterans of America.
At the end of Ryan’s obituary, he wrote:
“I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life.”
He also wrote of his 25-year relationship with the love of his life, Paul Cavagnaro, who he will be buried next to.
Ryan apologized for not living his truth sooner, being afraid of being ostracized by family, friends and co-workers. His final words:
"Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”
Ryan’s obituary has been shared widely on social media, receiving emotional reactions in comments.
“This was good man, and dedicated public servant. What a shame that he had to hide who he was to be accepted by the community he served. It’s easy to get people to hate a certain group of people as a faceless “other.” It’s much harder to hate when you’re forced to put a face on a member of that group. I have hope that some who knew this man might rethink their bigotry because of the good life that he led in service to their community and nation,” wrote a Facebook user on a post by CNY Pride.
Strangers have also felt compelled to leave comments directly under Ryan’s obituary on Legacy.com.
“As someone who didn’t ‘come out’ until 40, this obituary really pulled on my heartstrings. I hope Edward and Paul are reunited now, in love for eternity. Nobody should have to spend a lifetime hiding who they are and who they love,” wrote a user named Cristy.
According to the obituary, the funeral will be private and there will be no memorial services.