Queen guitarist Brian May opened up in an Instagram post on Friday about struggling with depression over the holidays, and renewed his commitment to caring for his mental health.
In a selfie with a portrait of rock icon Jimi Hendrix, May thanked Def Leppard vocalist Joe Elliot for the artwork. He called the picture "inspiration for the next 10 years" and a reminder "to keep reaching for the stars."
After asking if the sentiment was "a bit too glib," the "Bohemian Rhapsody" guitarist declared that it was his "brave face."
"Most of this Christmas period I haven't wanted to show my face because my face was grim," he said.
May went on to explain that the holiday season can be a difficult time for him. "There's something about this time of the year that paralyses me," he wrote. "Depression, hopelessness, fear... I get engulfed."
He also noted that depression can affect anyone, seemingly without any reason. "Is it logical? No. Should I be grateful for my life and therefore NOT depressed? Yes," he wrote. "But none of that makes any difference when you look up and the colours have gone out of the world."
The Queen guitarist vowed to take steps towards better mental health. "Tomorrow I am wrenching myself back into 'normality'-starting with some biking and stretching and hot and cold showering," he continued. He also added that he's participating in Veganuary, which is a U.K. event that encourages people to go vegan for the month of January.
Queen's publicist declined a request for comment from Newsweek.
Def Leppard's Instagram account shared a supportive comment on the post. "We love ya Bri!! Better days ahead," they wrote.
In 2012 May—who holds a doctorate in astrophysics—revealed in an interview with Astronomy that he went through depression following Queen frontman Freddie Mercury's 1991 death. "At the time, I couldn't think of anything I enjoyed. I was just in a very black place," the guitarist said. He spoke about rediscovering pleasure while staying at a clinic in Tucson, Arizona. "I figured out, because of the beautiful skies there, that one of my greatest joys was just looking at the stars," he said. "So I feel anchored to the universe in some way. It's quite a powerful force in my life."
May's Instagram post was not the first time the guitarist has spoken candidly about his mental health on social media. In February 2019, he shared a photo of the moon, apologizing for not wishing his followers a happy Valentine's Day. "I hope you all had a good one. I was too depressed to go near social media," he wrote. I had probably the most miserable V day of my whole life. Owing to a diary oversight I was alone all day, and really couldn't face going out to eat on my own."
"I do NOT want sympathy, so please don't give me any," May wrote in his 2019 post. "But now you know that this particular rock star does not have a magically perfect life. Maybe that's a useful thing to know."
![Brian May](https://cdn.statically.io/img/d.newsweek.com/en/full/1557563/brian-may.jpg?w=1200&f=f1c7bad5e13773f553f9c80853510b2d)
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