A woman has shared her unusual experience of a second date where the man "fetishized" her curves.
Alexa Eldridge (@alexa_eldridge) was out with a man when she asked him what his physical type was, to which he responded blue eyes, blonde hair, and curves—exactly the qualities Alexa has.
He later revealed he had always been ashamed of liking women with her body type after growing up with a mom who was critical of women's bodies.
In a recorded revelation on TikTok which amassed 116,000 views and 5,265 likes, Eldridge asked viewers if she was overthinking what had happened or had been fetishized.
@alexa_eldridge New Roman empire unlocked 🙃 #dating #firstdate #chicago #hinge #bumble #women #bigsister #datingstorytime #single #date #datenight
♬ original sound - Alexa | your confident big sis
Eldridge told Newsweek: "I felt supportive in the moment but, after reflecting, found it odd that he would feel the need to mention that to me on a second date.
"My intention wasn't to shame him in the video but to unpack my own feelings about how this stranger dumped his shame onto me about my body on a second date.
"I'm a confident person who loves my body, so his comment was so confusing to me."
Eldridge's date revealed to her that his mom is highly critical about women's bodies and that his ex-girlfriend questioned why he followed curvier women on Instagram, admitting he felt shame for liking women with curves.
In the moment, Eldridge revealed she was supportive of the date for finally being able to embrace his desires. However, upon reflection, she was not sure if the man's outpouring had been appropriate.
She said on the platform: "I was supportive in the moment, but inside I'm like, Was I just blatantly fetishized?
"I have never had someone, like, directly tell me at one point that someone who looked like me would be a dirty little secret to them.
"So I didn't really know how to take that, and I just I haven't been able to stop thinking about that.
"This is one of the first dates he's been on with a woman that he's genuinely attracted to and how taboo it was for him to go out with a woman who's a size 10."
According to dating app Bumble, fetishization is sexualizing an identity trait such as body type, race, and ethnicity. It can be extremely dehumanizing for the person on the receiving end.
Commenters weighed in on the woman's dilemma, with many having sympathy for both parties.
One said: "I kind of feel both ways about this. Having to also unlearn my parents' fat shaming and trying to develop a healthy relationship with food and my body and so much shame about many things."
Another said: "Maybe he just felt that comfortable to share? Everyone has a type and he's being honest in a respectful way."
However, others felt that he should have kept the comment to himself.
One woman said: "Inside thoughts, my dude. Inside thoughts."
Another wrote: "I think you know how you feel and the feeling is absolutely valid because what the hell dude?!"
Eldridge agreed and said she was an advocate for honesty, but in the right time and place.
Correction 06/20/24, 12:00 p.m. ET: This article has been updated to correct the headline and Alexa Eldridge's surname.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
