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. 2016 Aug 16;11(8):e0161087.
doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0161087. eCollection 2016.

Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility

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Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility

Sandra J E Langeslag et al. PLoS One. .

Abstract

Love feelings can be more intense than desired (e.g., after a break-up) or less intense than desired (e.g., in long-term relationships). If only we could control our love feelings! We present the concept of explicit love regulation, which we define as the use of behavioral and cognitive strategies to change the intensity of current feelings of romantic love. We present the first two studies on preconceptions about, strategies for, and the feasibility of love regulation. Questionnaire responses showed that people perceive love feelings as somewhat uncontrollable. Still, in four open questions people reported to use strategies such as cognitive reappraisal, distraction, avoidance, and undertaking (new) activities to cope with break-ups, to maintain long-term relationships, and to regulate love feelings. Instructed up-regulation of love using reappraisal increased subjective feelings of attachment, while love down-regulation decreased subjective feelings of infatuation and attachment. We used the late positive potential (LPP) amplitude as an objective index of regulation success. Instructed love up-regulation enhanced the LPP between 300-400 ms in participants who were involved in a relationship and in participants who had recently experienced a romantic break-up, while love down-regulation reduced the LPP between 700-3000 ms in participants who were involved in a relationship. These findings corroborate the self-reported feasibility of love regulation, although they are complicated by the finding that love up-regulation also reduced the LPP between 700-3000 ms in participants who were involved in a relationship. To conclude, although people have the preconception that love feelings are uncontrollable, we show for the first time that intentional regulation of love feelings using reappraisal, and perhaps other strategies, is feasible. Love regulation will benefit individuals and society because it could enhance positive effects and reduce negative effects of romantic love.

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Conflict of interest statement

Competing Interests: The authors have declared that no competing interests exist.

Figures

Fig 1
Fig 1. Overview of blocks and trials in the regulation task.
Please note that the stimulus in this figure is not actually one of the pictures that were submitted by the participants. Instead, it is an IAPS picture [53] that resembles the kinds of pictures that participants submitted.
Fig 2
Fig 2. Scatterplots displaying the positive correlations between the ERQ reappraisal score and perceived control over various aspects of love feelings.
Fig 3
Fig 3. Infatuation, attachment, valence, and arousal ratings after each block.
Fig 4
Fig 4. Positive and negative affect after each block, separately for both groups.
Fig 5
Fig 5. ERP waveforms at Fz, Cz, and Pz for the four conditions, for each group separately.
Fig 6
Fig 6. Scalp topographies of the differences between passive viewing of partner and neutral pictures, separately for both groups.
Fig 7
Fig 7. Scalp topographies of the differences between regulation and passive viewing of partner pictures, separately for both groups.
Fig 8
Fig 8. Scatterplot displaying the negative correlation between the up-regulation effect in the LPP amplitude (averaged across electrodes Cz and Pz) between 700–1000 ms and the up-regulation effect in negative affect.
A negative up-regulation effect in negative affect means a reduction in negative affect due to love up-regulation. A positive up-regulation effect in the LPP amplitude means that the LPP was enhanced for love up-regulation.

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Grants and funding

The authors received no specific funding for this work.

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