I'll guess that while you were in the military, making a positive first impression on those around you was not of primary importance. Now, as you enter or grow your civilian career, how others perceive you when they first meet you matters -- maybe even more than you know.
Why We Judge Others
As humans, it's been argued that we can't help judging and forming perceptions about other people, our circumstances and our environment. Much has been written about our ability (and need) to form quick perceptions about what we're seeing, experiencing or interacting with as a way of receiving great amounts of data and synthesizing it to make sense in short order.
Yes, our perceptions often can be wrong, based on misinformation or incomplete information, but they feel very real to us and affect the way we proceed.
For example, if I view a job applicant as sloppy, careless or unfocused, I might resist offering them a position in my company. My perception might not be accurate (perhaps they were running late for the interview and felt flustered and nervous) or may leverage a bias I have for people with long hair, tattoos or who wear blue jeans, but that perception still affects my actions and decisions unless I am aware enough to examine my assumptions closely.
First Impressions Matter
When you first meet someone (in person, online or on video), you assess what you're seeking and experiencing. Does this person seem credible, interesting, nice, professional or threatening? You'll decide -- often based on what you see and how they communicate -- whether your sense is that you can trust them, want to work with them and have any interest in learning more about them.
We form these first impressions with the grocery store checkout person, our new doctor, the person sitting next to us on the airplane, our professor and everyone else we meet for the first time. We assess physical appearance, body language and style, vocal tonality and volume, language choice, accents and any other data points we can gather. And this all happens almost instantaneously.
First impressions are also about being memorable. If, five minutes after you've met someone, they forget about you, how does that impact the opportunities you want to attract? A positive first impression means you're remembered for the right reasons and right qualities. You stand out and are someone others want to work with and be around.
While you can reframe and repair a negative or poor first impression, you may not always have the opportunity. Consider the job applicant in my example above. If the interviewer does not pursue the candidate and refuses to consider that their first impression may have been the result of an "off" day, the candidate may lose out on a job.
Creating a Positive First Impression
The following tips can ensure your first impression lands the way you intend:
Eye contact
In person or on video, good eye contact shows the other person you're present, attentive and interested in the conversation. Hold eye contact for an appropriate length of time (too little can appear nervous, and too long feels like a threat).
Enthusiasm
A smile goes a long way to make a positive first impression. Relax your face, show that you're happy to have the meeting and enthusiastically introduce yourself. Sometimes, regardless of what you say, demonstrating enthusiasm creates a positive first impression on its own.
Professionalism
Showing respect for yourself and the person you're speaking to never goes out of style. Being on time for the meeting, demonstrating poise, and a polished style and demeanor make a memorable and positive first impression.
Relatability
People who are relatable make us feel safe, comfortable and appreciated. To be relatable, you'll share your story (who you are and what you care about) in a way that's understood and relevant to the other person. If people do business with people they like, then being relatable is one way to be likable.
Showing interest in others
Including the other person in the conversation by showing interest in them and their story ensures you'll be seen more favorably. Learn how to conduct small talk, leverage conversation starters and practice active listening skills to show that you're interested in what the other person cares about and can offer.
A positive first impression is important to establishing rapport and initiating a professional relationship. In a job interview, client meeting, business presentation or any other work setting, strive to show your most authentic and favorable sides early in the conversation.
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