Dear Amy: My daughter, a senior in high school, has fallen in love with a boy in her class. The feeling is mutual.
After three months, the level of intensity makes Romeo and Juliet look like amateurs.
They are never apart, and she has emotionally cut herself off from the rest of the family. It’s as if the rest of the world no longer exists.
I am indifferent to the boy, and get along with him, although I am not thrilled about where this is headed.
He has been accepted to a college out West. We live in the South.
My daughter has decided that rather than go to college, she is moving out West with him and will get a job.
She turns 18 this summer, and legally there is nothing I can do to stop her.
Her father and I are distraught but feel that if we try and stop this she will go anyway and turn her back on us for good.
His parents don’t have a problem with any of this.
She has no work experience, is an immature 17-year-old and will not even consider other options.
Before this romance we had a great relationship with her, but now she barely even speaks to us. Should we just let her go and find out for herself the hard way? The only option seems to be locking her up in her room. — Anguished Mom
Dear Mom: Don’t lock your daughter in the tower. She’ll just launch into a tearful soliloquy.
And don’t be indifferent to the boy. Get to know him.
I suggest you force yourself toward this relationship to keep the door open.
You and your husband should have a meeting with them. Ask them to outline their plans for the future. Listen carefully.
Say, “Juliet, you know we don’t like the idea of your not going to college and moving so far away. We are worried you won’t be able to support yourself. But it’s your life, and we understand that.”
You may be able to persuade your daughter to take a year’s deferment from college or to enroll at school out West.
Make sure your daughter understands that you won’t finance this junket.
There is a high likelihood that the relationship won’t even survive to next fall.
Dear Amy: I’ve enjoyed the letters from people “whining” about bringing wine to dinner. I bring two bottles.
One bottle I offer to the host to present for the group’s opinion.
The other bottle I insist is a gift to keep for later, in the event the host approves of the wine at dinner. — Jim
Dear Jim: This sounds equitable — and generous.
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