You know what I just can't believe?
Why is this? Well, the linked study above sheds some light on the subject, but there are three general areas that we need to look to in order to start diving in: Optimism, fear of failure, and levels of support.
It's interesting to me that two of these three are actually rooted in our emotional state—how we feel (not how we actually are) in the perceived situation.
In the last two issues we talked about the emotional spectrum associated with transition, and how to start building emotional resilience. In this issue, I want to dive into the four most common emotions that we at The RECON Network hear are often obstacles to a positive progression forward after leaving military service.
Loss
The military-to-civilan transition inherently comes with a lot of loss. There's loss of identity, loss of purpose, loss of camaraderie, the known, routine, and structure. And, sadly, in a lot of cases, there is a loss of those closest to you—one that doesn't always ease with a successful transition.
To deal with the emotion of loss, it's important to recognize that these emotions are normal and valid. Accepting the loss is the first step to process the emotions and move forward, to identify new sources of identity, purpose, and community to replace the loss.
Uncertainty and Fear
It seems like it should be easy to combat uncertainty and fear—you just create a plan, set goals, and make them happen. But the reality is that fear is far more emotional than logical, so while breaking down the transition into manageable steps can help alleviate some of the uncertainty and fear, you may also often feel debilitated simply because of what could happen. Seeking guidance from experts, such as a career counselor or a mentor who has gone through a similar experience (or a coach through The RECON Network), can also be helpful.
Excitement and Expectation
It's normal to feel excitement and expectation during your veteran transition, but if you don't manage these emotions, you can easily become overwhelmed. For that reason, it's important to set realistic expectations and take things one step at a time. Don't try to do everything at once; instead, focus on small, achievable goals or steps that will lead you to your ultimate objective.
When you face a setback—and you will, because LIFE—keep in mind that they are a natural part of any transition; they are not a reflection of your worth or ability. Don't let them discourage you. Instead, view them as an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember, success is not achieved overnight, but through perseverance and dedication.
Managing Discouragement and Disappointment
Discouragement is a natural process of transition—but it's worse when we haven't managed our own expectations of what should happen. No matter how great you were told things would be (everyone wants to hire you, you won't have any problems, your benefits are there when you need them) things happen, and if you haven't established a solid sense of who you are and how UNconnected you are to random things in life happening, it's really easy to become disappointed.
Do not let them control you. Take a step back and an honest look at what occurred. Utilize the support systems available to you—and connect with resources that can help you forge a new path like career counseling, job training, and mental health services. Above all, remember that not only is fear a liar, but it's exceptionally skilled at making you second guess who you are and what you're capable of.
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