What I want to tell my daughter when she turns 18.

When I turned 18, I didn’t know what I know now about what it means to be a woman of that age. No one told me the things I know now about life as a woman in our world. All I remember was that turning 18 meant I needed to “be an adult.” I needed to learn how to be diplomatic, bite my tongue, compromise, cook and be a good homemaker, serve others, prioritize everyone, learn sacrifice, and so on. All this was preparation to find a suitable boy and get married off to some far-off land. And that is what happened. They found me a suitable boy; I was married off and moved to a far-off land, the US of A, at age 21. As a young woman, I have learned on my own, sometimes by falling over, getting back up, and falling again.

I cannot believe my daughter, my first child, will be 18 this year. I look at her and marvel at how much she looks like a younger, more beautiful version of me. But she is not like me at all. Thank God for that! Her personality, her views, and her approach to life are her own. I admire that about her. Despite having parents with strong personalities, she manages to hold her own, teaching us how to be parents while we try our best to support her.

I have been thinking about this a lot. There is no better way to honor my daughter than to give her 18 lessons I have learned from my own life. In some ways, this is advice I would give my 18-year-old self. My daughter may not appreciate or follow this advice now, but there will be a time when she will revisit this post, and something here will help her. If it doesn’t, that is okay. So here goes.

18. Buy a house of your own as soon as you can — in your name

17. Get your bank account — one that only you have access to

16. Make a pact with yourself to make zero compromises when it comes to your health — zero fucks given for everything else

15. Walk away from people who treat you like shit — so you don’t have to reciprocate

14. Stop helping people who take you for granted — they don’t need to be helped

13. Always make time for solo travel — it is good for the soul

12. Spend time in and with nature — she is your BFF

11. Buy more books than shoes — books solve problems, shoes don’t

10. But do indulge in that occasional impulse buy — every girl needs a gorgeous pair of shoes

9. Nurture and keep the child inside of you alive — that child will save you one day

8. Build your own self-worth — don’t look for it in the eyes of others; look for it in the mirror

7. Don’t be afraid of loneliness — being alone is the greatest gift you can give yourself

6. One person cannot fulfill all your needs — build an ecosystem to support you when you need it

5. No relationship lasts forever — people come and go, you should let them

4. Life is not a linear path — enjoy the detours, it is leading you to your next adventure

3. That boy who holds your face in his hands when he kisses you, looks at you like you are God’s greatest creation, and has your back no matter what — is probably THE ONE! If not, do not fret; there will be another ‘THE ONE.’

2. You will love many, but you will only fall IN LOVE once and you will know when that happens — it may not happen the way you expect it to

1. I will always have your back no matter what and be there for you, on your side, in person or in spirit — ready to kick some ass when you need me to

0. And if there is one thing you should take away from this …it is this…….mom is always right! :-)

Your birthday is a few months away but let’s celebrate YOU all year, every year!

Love you babykins! Now and forever!

Mom