We need to talk...

One of the (only) nice things about getting older, is that you’ve experienced a few rollercoasters, ups and downs and losses; and you’ve come out of the other side maybe a bit bruised but still standing. We reference major tragedies like 9-11 and the GFC in our minds and reassure ourselves that “it’s ok, breathe, we’ve been here before. Keep a level head and deal with today; don't worry about tomorrow." But equally it's not that simple right now.

At Group8, we have always believed and operated in an agile way. Given the highly confidential nature of what we do and the need to frequently travel, working outside an office environment is our normal. But it’s not completely ‘business as usual’ – that intimates there is no shift at all in how we are functioning. This week, as a team we have talked more than we normally would via video calls, with no specific agenda or structure – just being real and honest: sharing daily life concerns about what’s happening in the world and how this is directly impacting ‘our today’ in work and our own personal worlds. We have ploughed on regardless work-wise making sure to take time to ask "How are you?" before discussing anything else.

But the truth is that this is isn’t like anything we have seen before, so no comparison to previous times we have lived in can be made - aside from drawing on the mistakes made in the past, and the strength and optimism you needed to get through it as unscathed as possible. The outcomes are unknown, and the unknown is scary. But in every single negative life experience and tragedy, there is always the other perspective: the learning, growth and something positive. In the current situation, we have no choice but to try and find that.

The legal community which I am proud to have worked in for almost 20 years now, is generally pretty conservative. You ask 'How are you?' and you get a host of stock standard responses which are normally all positive, seldom admitting any element of challenging times. 'Feelings' or 'worries' are often internalised and dealt with in private. LinkedIn is normally at best used for deal announcements and celebration milestones. But that same community is now totally opening up. Having to rapidly adjust and adapt, there are levels of realism and authenticity unseen before and from top down. Partners are seen inviting us all into their home lives, exposed and visible with beautiful pictures of them working around a table with their family. I’ve not seen the legal market more visibly connected, supportive and open.

Having talked this week to people across the UK, the UAE, Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, Australia, Italy, Germany and the US, it's clear that our fears are universal but we all still don't really like to air them ..."my worries may not be as bad as theirs". Much better to sit and deal with them myself. But surely the most important thing we can all do in uniting at this time is ensure that concerns are openly talked about with our team, with our family… whatever they may be. 

It is a time when human touch isn’t possible, but real humanity is.

This week I received a lovely message from one of my team, encouraging me to talk openly as much as they will and then keeping a sense of humour along with it :)

So, here's my honest check-in an effort to encourage others to do the same. Right now I lie awake at night worrying about:

-  my mother who’s in her 70’s and lives on her own. Having just recovered from the floods, I’m worried she’s feeling isolated and if she does get ill, how will I care for her?

-         my 10 year old daughter – as her only parent here in the UK, it’s on me to make sure she’s happy and busy whilst I’m working with schools off. I need her to understand what’s happening but not feel fear. 

-         my team: are they really ok? Are they talking openly about their real fears and concerns and impact on their life?

-         my clients and workload: whilst they say they are completely committed, will projects we are working on and applying resource to get delayed? What would the impact be? Are we supporting clients enough to flex to their needs?

-         individuals globally who are onboarding remotely – how can we help them more?

-         the elderly lady who was crying in the queue of the supermarket because her hand hurt from her heavy basket, and her local church had shut - her only sense of community

-         my nephew who was due to take his GCSEs; my brother and his wife who may lose their jobs

-         my peers and friends all feeling their own impact of the current uncertainty

-         talking about these fears – will it make any of the things I am worrying about come true!?

But once aired, this is why I feel confident: this is what we do. We help people through periods of significant change and fear, to make decisions in stressful times when there are so many unknowns and do what is best for them for the long-term.We listen. We are all in this together – globally we can connect, unite, share concerns and support each other. Show random acts of kindness where we may never have had the time to previously. 

It’s easy to be paralysed to act when you feel overwhelmed, but the only way to get rid of fear is to take action: so, I’ll be calling my family to try and put a smile on their face somehow; checking in on the lady I met in the supermarket; going for a run to keep me mentally and physically healthy; spending time with my daughter and working up a timetable of activities for her every day. Then I can carry on doing what I love and what we as a team do best…..helping our clients and individuals navigate through periods of significant change and come out of this even stronger.