The Season of Giving

Buy Everything 

I am so tired of sales, ads and discount codes. Every place I have ever visited physically or virtually somehow found a way to send me a text, email or push notification about the most perfect way to spend my money. I started to fall for it. I opened ads. Looked at sales. Contemplated all the things I may need, irrespective of brands I do not even trust. I started carts (don’t do that, the messages multiply), entered random characters for that enticing 20% off then got distracted by the next ad that was coming my way. 

What do my kids need?

What gift(s) would bring joy?

What in the world do you buy for people who have everything they already need, or want?

I asked myself if I should follow suit and post a sale of business services. Should I put something “on-sale” to attract more customers? 

In a world where the pace of life mystifies my being, I find myself retreating back to the basics. Time, experiences and memories. That is what brings me joy. For all of you out there who possess the love language of receiving or giving gifts, this is not an attempt to change you! Keep doing you. Keep giving and keep receiving to your heart's delight. It comes from a pure space. Just don’t get your feelings hurt when we don’t react as you imagined. 

Letting Go 

Five years ago I was hell-bent on trimming the perfect tree. Making sure all the decor matched. For a few years, I boycotted red and green anywhere in the house. I bought the perfect wrapping paper and made extravagant bows for every package. I loved it. No one else in my house noticed! 

I downsized my life and man, does it feel so good. The kids decorate the tree. We don’t need a ladder to do so and their placement is, well, amateur at best, but it works. I lost the need for a kid’s tree to house their sub-par homemade ornaments. Instead, I found space in my life for their 100% attempt efforts regardless of the completed product. 

I realized the gifts were a way to give and show affection without having the conversations that needed to be voiced. They were a display of things that were supposed to fix what wasn’t working. Not just as a spouse, but also as a parent. Gifts don’t replace time. That is perhaps the most profound thing I have learned in almost 45 years. There is no substitute. 

Growing Up

The holidays were always an interesting time growing up. I never went without, but life was not glamorous. Money was tight. Some years money was non-existent. But, family was always present. Time was always present. 

This isn’t about what was missing, but rather everything that was present. 

I did not have the opportunity to buy presents for my mom or brothers. There was not an allowance I could save. Even if there was, I am not certain I would have spent my hard-earned money on my two older brothers. Because of limitations, I repeatedly chose to give away words and elementary art. They were creations I made when no one was watching and tucked away in my mom’s stocking when she wasn’t looking. 

I texted my mom yesterday and asked her to send me a picture of her “stocking notes”. In all my years I do not remember giving my mom a gift (even after growing up and making my own money) that meant more to her, or me, than these little notes. Somehow they are still hanging on after 35 years, albeit, a little gnarly and well-worn. Yet still alive! 

Words and Time Are the Greatest Gift You Can Give

Gifts are an outward expression to show people you care. An attempt to find the perfect accompaniment and wishlist item. Gifts give us the opportunity to spoil and surprise someone. 

Perhaps this year the people that matter most in life are not looking for a present, but rather your presence and heartfelt words. Maybe they need affirmation more than they need material keepsakes. 

In a world where we are conditioned to buy more, gift more, top the last present, and surprise someone with a perfect gift despite not needing anything, maybe words and time are the missing pieces. You don’t need to be a writer to write. An orator to speak. Or a videographer to record. You just need a story to tell!

What gift will bring you lasting joy this holiday season? 

What gift will move your soul? 

What gift will repair hardship or brokenness? 

What gift will you remember giving or receiving in 5 years?

What gift will your kids cherish and actually take care of? 

Gifts of Love

After all the presents are opened, the beautifully packaged gifts are reduced to a heap of trash in the big black bag, and the decorations are put away, what remains? 

Love Remains!