Remember Your Self-care

By Leigh Miano

During times of change, transition and progress, it is important to remember to be kind to yourself, take time to reflect, meditate and smell the roses.

 Why?

Taking time to reflect, slow down and decompress is important to being resilient in trying times. Going through a stressful period in your life, which COVID counts, needs to be acknowledged and addressed.

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. – Helen Keller

We can’t change the effects that having COVID or preventing COVID has had on us (wearing masks, social distancing, staying home) but we can change how we react and move forward during trying times. We should allow time for our own self-care which can lead us in healing and moving onward during these challenging times.

 Joy After Disaster?

 In the aftermath of past disasters (Pearl Harbor, WWII, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the Boston Marathon Bombing), although individuals experienced great pain amid the destruction, they also witnessed bravery, resourcefulness, heroism and random acts of kindness.

 In order to move forward, survivors of such tragic events sought purposeful, meaningful work or volunteering opportunities and gained a sense of community, belonging. They began to see villages, towns and cities work together, provide support to neighbors, along with friends and strangers, who were rising strong out of disaster. In the aftermath of such events, society tends to be cooperative, collaborative and more connected.

Experiencing a disaster is never welcomed or wanted, certainly not. However, after a disaster is experienced there is opportunity to find courage, become resilient and be thankful for all that we have. This, in turn, can lead to joy, peace and optimism.

The 9/11 and Boston Marathon Bombing events, had the opposite effect the terrorists had in mind. In both cases, the cities become stronger, comforting, supportive and we saw a glimpse of a society wholeheartedly coming together to lift each other up, offer support to those they didn’t know and give to countless of charities. Millions of people raised a generous amount for money for charity and organizations who helped those affected by these terrible events.

Through the ashes at 9/11 the American flag was raised at Ground Zero. It’s an iconic picture which provided comfort, we felt patriotic and proud yet stirred by our emotions. The love for our country overflowed as we watched countless of firefighters, police officers and volunteers spend many tireless hours sifting through the rubble for survivors.

Nineteen years later, we have seen justice for mastermind behind the attacks captured and killed. The new World Trade Center buildings were built, the skyline in New York City forever changed, the previous deep hole in the heart of Lower Manhattan refilled.

In Boston, as well as New York, we see how two cities saw countless heroes emerge, survivors turned activists, victims turned victors and an initial darkness turned into light.

Let’s Move Forward                        

The challenges faced during those two unprecedented disasters have actually let the world see Americans at their best. “Nous sommes tous Americains” - “We Are All Americans” – was the headline of Le Monde, one of France’s leading newspapers. As though we all felt like fellow New Yorkers and Bostonians we rose up, we conquered and started to heal, all at our own pace.

 As we experience the world-wide effects of COVID, acknowledge the pain, disappointment of not seeing family and friends, anger at having to wear a mask when you are sweating profusely, mourn for those lost and the solemn, loneliness you may sometimes feel. Being with uncomfortable feelings and working through them will help us overcome and move on. We can begin to understand where we are and where we want to go in the new normal that happens after disaster.

Self-care can be simple, therapeutic and engulf us in a well-deserved hug. Self-care can be a soothing lavender bath, a long walk or run, prayer and meditation, any activity that allows you to forget the past, stay in the present and begin to heal. 

Many experts recommend a mindful breathing exercise. Take a deep breath in and breath out. While breathing out, consciously let go of one emotion you are feeling; for example, anger at having to wear a mask even when it is uncomfortable. Count to ten and instead of feeling anger, try to breathe the anger out. Repeat this for 3-5 minutes. Check to see how your body is reacting to this practice. Do you feel less anger, less stress pain associated with clenching your muscles? Hopefully, with time and practice, you will start to see an improvement in feeling less angry, sad, lonely, etc. as you let each negative emotion go and breathe it out. Then try the practice of replacing those emotions with positive, uplifting ones; breathing in love, joy, encouragement, thankfulness, inspiration and happiness.

Seeing the joy in trials and rising above negative emotions is hard and difficult. But the reward for acknowledging, processing and relieving those negative feelings and finding the positive can lead you forward to comfort, peace and resilience.

 Do not let the behavior others, destroy your inner peace – Dalai Lama