Will the “Real” Joe Doe Please Stand Up?

A psychodynamic analysis of the story writing and reading experiences as a vehicle for self-analysis through an autoethnographic approach

To complete my Executive Master at the INSEAD, I recently submitted a thesis consisting in embarking on a self-exploration using a fiction story that I had written two years ago as a starting point. 

The thesis explores the possibility to enhance one's level of self-awareness through the psycho-analysis of one's creative writing. It assumes that the creative writing experience, the story and its characters may mirror and possibly reveal some inner conflict embedded in the author.  

The novella, entitled "Joe Doe in his red armchair", depicts the story of a man whom one day decides to stay in his armchair and let the technology delivers to his place everything he needs or dreams. Through the story, technological advancement allows the character to adventure himself in virtual worlds while slowly losing a sense of reality.  

Through the self-analytical process, I eventually became able to shed light on my experience of my introvertedness. Being introverted had shaped my sense of identity as well as my level of engagement with the outer world. 

Reflecting on what kind of inner change the thesis induced, I would claim that the introspective process enhanced my capacity to receive information from within - what Christopher Bollas, calls the receptive capability.

However, the most significant change triggered by the reflection conducted through the thesis might be related to the embodiment of my introvertedness. 

While attending a Group Relation Conference organized by NIODA last week, I experienced my introvertedness with more acceptance. I also became more aware of the uneasyness that my posture of observant triggered for some other participants.  

The higher level of self-acceptance allowed me to protect my stance - i.e. to express assertiveness while to be more sensitive to the others'needs. 

Only the future will say whether I would be able to sustain and to expand my degree of self-acceptance.