MMgmt: Gender and the Workplace continued discussion

Some great questions and comments came about that we didn't have time to answer in my talk last Monday on Gender balance in the workplace, so I thought I would make a few quick comments here, and welcome other's views and questions with the intention of curiousity.

1.   Defensive about privilege: Best approach on discussion of privilege when someone is defensive? Find common ground, ask questions - use the 5 why's to get to the real motivations – and gain a better understanding of the other person’s viewpoint.  I think commonality will be a focus of my interactions. Ensuring people feel valued and understood. Discuss facts and don’t make things personal. For men, it is even more important to ask questions to overcome unconscious bias and to ensureyou are not “over explaining” something or making assumptions. Ensuring a balanced conversation can also include setting up parameters at the beginning of the conversation in terms of rhythm and flow to establish equal commentary, view points, and active listening. 

2.   Critical Thinking: What to do when someone presents an erroneous point of view that does not jive with common knowledge. Question, be curious, and use your critical and analytical thinking skills. Consider the source. Consider what other factors might be involved in wanting to make this true or false and who does that serve. What does the majority of the population say? What is written in academic journals? What do the world leading experts say? Be curious, and also be critical.

3.   Whatboutism: Don’t be THAT person that is the “whatboutism” or feel the need to present an alternate viewpoint without first asking, is it likely that this person is already aware of this? And ask them first, before continuing on. Gaining their perspective or insight at the front end of a conversation, and truly listening, can go a long way to having a productive, two-way dialogue.

4.   Activities to reduce implicit bias are wide ranging – everything from being aware, naming and questioning the bias, creating inclusive meeting practices and supportive dialogues – to screening resumes with the names and other identifying factors removed. There is also a great program offered through the Government of Alberta that helps to increase understanding about bias in terms of accessibility of programming that is very worthwhile to take (https://www.alberta.ca/gender-based-analysis.aspx) There is a lot of literature out there on this topic, and I highly encourage folks to do their own research. 

5.   If you are learning, it is ok to say so. You can preface your statement as saying you are learning, and you are open to and invite feedback to understand and gain new and different perspectives. This needs to be true when you say it, and when you receive the varying viewpoints, especially if it challenges your line of thinking at your core. Usually a hotspot is an area where it strikes too close to home. Recognize when it is safe to have these conversations – know your audience and tread lightly until you get a feel for who you are talking to. 

6.   Amplifying voices can be done in the moment, or afterward, and can be done in a large public forum, or in smaller private settings. Working someone’s viewpoint into your own conversations with attribution is amplification. Also, using your own privilege to step aside and clear the path for someone else is a huge amplification. 

7.   When people don’t want to grow, don’t try to be the one to help them “see the light”. There are lot of folks who do want to grow, learn and be curious together – so find one of those and don’t bang your head against the wall with someone who doesn’t want to get woke or have a mutually respectful conversation about different viewpoints.

8.   Having sensitive conversations with your team means starting from a place of values, and personal experience to have a productive and open dialogue. Start with why it is personally important to you and how it lines up with the firm values, and then invite discussion. 

9.   Having your own voice heard is a different journey for everyone. I have a lot of privilege, so I wouldn’t presume to know what it is like for others, however I have found asking questions, challenging assumptions, volunteering for things, and standing firm when I believe in something are all ways I have advocated for myself. I have also enrolled my colleagues and friends in helping me amplify my voice.

10. Accountability is for everyone: The concept of accountability is not mutually exclusive from concepts like collaboration for example. Group performance increases with accountability, good communication AND collaboration. It is an addition that benefits everyone.