The Life-Changing Magic of Letters from Love

For decades, I've been writing letters to myself. It started in the early 2000s with a website called FutureMe —a novel concept at the time! 😉

Since then, I've replaced New Year's resolutions with these letters, written with kindness, clarity and what feels like one seamless exhale. It's become a profound practice in self-compassion and accountability to the one who matters most: myself.

What I didn't realize until recently is that I've actually been writing letters from Love. This past year, I've watched with delight as Elizabeth Gilbert has popularized the practice through her magical Substack community, Letters from Love—quite possibly the most beautiful corner of the internet.

In her words:

"I believe there is an ocean of warm, affectionate, and outrageously unconditional love available to us all — and that it is conveniently accessible from within. In this space, I will teach you how to write yourself letters from unconditional love — how to open your imagination to that universal friendliness, and how to download its messages."

Now a devoted "lovelet" (along with 100,000+ others!), I read Liz's messages each Sunday with a giddy reverence. She shares her own gorgeous letters, as well as downloads from diverse guests -- from poets and path-breakers to singers and skeptics. Her invitation is for all of us to become channels for Love— and it's the most life (and world) changing practice I know.

What I'm learning is that when I pause, get quiet and really listen, I become a vessel for something deeper truer and wiser than anything I could access through my intellect.  It's an exercise in silencing the inner critic (and editor), to tap the current of wisdom beneath it.

Last week, the prompt was to ask Love about goals. My response flowed uninterrupted from my pencil to the page, as the truest things often do.

Sharing this publicly was not the goal (!); but if it can be of service to others, then it's worth the leap of faith.

Dear Love:

What would you have me know today about goals?

Oh, dear one, we are so glad you asked.

Goals, goals, goals... Here's the thing. What you were taught was a lighthouse – some distant beacon, a point of arrival – you’re learning is, in truth, about the light, not the house.

The real goal has nothing to do with arriving. It’s about steering toward what brightens your cells, following the quiet voice that speaks only with kindness, "Yes, yes, it’s like this,” she says. “Follow the feeling, you’re on the right track.”

This is not to say you won't also find yourself aching in the dark – that, too, is part of this path. But it IS to say you'll never get THERE because (as life has told you, again and again, and again) THERE is a figment, an illusion, a trick of your grasping mind – the one always looking for solid ground when, in truth, we know there is none.

Little earthlings get confused about the goals, YOU get confused about the goals – the bright house on the hill, the title, the prestige, the power, the sense of completion.... This list, dear one, is your permission to exhale, and laugh. You've seen this game play out; you know it’s true cards. Someone plays by the rules, (or nor at all), makes the moves and all the sacrifices and someday, finally, actually gets THERE... and then? Well, we bring ourselves wherever we go, don’t we?  

And you, my dear one, working wild-eyed into the night – building, striving, cranking while everyone you love is dreaming.  You’ve achieved the things – the accolades and invites, the book agent, the trappings of success on our socially sanctioned score card.  

But you know it in your bones: none of this was ever the goal. 

The goal, my love, is  inhabiting the moments that become days that become your life... with an open heart. And yes, you too can do it even with a broken heart. 

Imagine: what if the goal was actually right HERE? A sunny summer Sunday morning with few plans, lightly held. Your little guys (still open to your squeezes and still fitting in your arms) downstairs tinkering, happily. A sweet coming-back-together with your big guy after a rough spell.  

Our darling hummingbird worker-bee fire ant, here’s what we have to say about goals.

Set a course and sense the destination; success flows from an intention, a way of being, a feeling that's available NOW, not in some distant future. It’s about navigation not arrival. Now, not then. Love, not attachment. Your compass, not the map. The light, not the house.

Turn toward the sun. Let go of expectations. Pause. Look up. Leap.

Love, 

Love

#LettersFromLove #LeadingOutLoud #LearningOnPurpose