It's Morning In America. Again.

What shall we do?

I was born in Canada. I become an American citizen in 2010. Four years ago less a day, I began to realize how much I had to learn about what it meant to be a citizen.

Since 2016, I've written --and mostly not published -- thousands of words over the past four years as I've tried to find my way to greater understanding and connection with my fellow citizens in a country I chose. So here are four of my conclusions, along with calls to action.

1. Citizenship Is Our Full Time Job.

Being a citizen is a full time job, whether or not the candidate you voted for wins.

Win or lose, every one of us is responsible to stay engaged, to hold the winners to account, to protect those who are at risk, prepare for the next round, and bring more people with you.

We don’t get a four year vacation if our candidates win. Our responsibility as citizens is to work hard, and spend time and resources to enlist understanding and support from the other side. If your candidate loses, you don’t get to sulk or seek vengeance. 

2. To Go Fast, Go Alone. To Go Far, Go Together.

Margins are thin. Half the people around you weren’t really happy about how things turned out four years ago. And the other half aren't happy now. But we need to move ahead together.

One of the hardest, and most important, things I did over the past four years was to find the emotional currency and courage to seek out friends who I knew didn’t vote the way I did. I had many civil conversations. Smart people of all ages and skin colors and origins. Veterans, business owners. I managed to ask, “What were you thinking?” (and not “what were you THINKING!), and then listen to their answers without trying to persuade them of anything.

I do not understand QAnon any better. I still disagreed with my friends about some things, but my discovery was very similar to this:

Three-quarters believe the government should expand its coverage of health care. Two-thirds believe there should be stricter gun laws. 79% think abortion should be legal. 76% support investing more in education. A staggering 96% support infrastructure improvements. 75% say it’s somewhat/very important to promote more racial and ethnic diversity. 76% say racism continues to be a big problem. Two-thirds see China as a threat and 83% believe the US should remain the world’s major military power. 

~ Mark Manson

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Political polarization has shifted our range of emotional response. It used to span disappointment or resignation on one end, and patient activism on the other. I discovered that the left was just as capable of ugly beliefs and behavior as the right. I hadn't noticed that before. Anyone who has spent the last four years sipping (or chugging) a toxic cocktail of fear and anger will find it difficult to access the part of our brain and emotions that is rational enough to let us connect with others who don't think the way we do.

So, let's start by changing what we're drinking. We need to commit to new conversations across differences we might only be imagining or presuming. Before someone will listen, they need to feel heard. Sit down and chat with me or someone else who thinks differently from you over a cup of something else. Even borrow a tradition from my country of birth, and join me for a nice cup of tea.

3. America Just Won. But At What Cost?

We have experienced four years of rampant incivility, of "us versus them." Are we better off? Did more get accomplished?

In one big respect, yes: we showed up. As a nation, we are more politically engaged. Voter turnout was 67%, the highest in 120 years. Millions more people registered and voted, period. Over 800,000 new voters were registered in Georgia alone (thank you, Stacey Abrams).

Now, our leaders need to build common cause among people whose views are different from theirs, to create a stronger and more diverse coalition so that even those whose candidates lost feel they have a voice.

Are there universal, inarguable truths? Are there injustices so deep that violence is the only way to be heard? I'm hoping not. I'm still learning about that.

4. Keep Having Tough Conversations.

Ever join a community or a club or an association and notice on the bottom of the membership application the question, "Which committee will you join?"

It takes time and patience to build a coalition, to broaden the base of support and understanding on an issue in order to get things done. That's what committees are for.

If you're having second thoughts about whether or not you'll get involved, realize that those who are contrary-minded and passionate are already hard at work. Shaping the direction of a country is a long game. If there's somewhere you'd like us all to be four years from now, the journey has already begun. Are you coming?

Here's how I think it works: We are all in the American community. Lots of us are already actively engaged in the issues we're passionate about. We need to keep conversations going. Every voice matters, and not just on election day. You can never know when the conversation you have, that difficult conversation you're not really sure whether it mattered, shifted how someone thought. and what they said. And what they did.

You matter. We all do.

It's a new day. Let's re-commit to each other.