From Rock Bottom to Sky High: How Failing Transformed My Life For the Better

“Success is not built on success, it’s built on failure.” 

We’re taught as kids that failure is a bad thing. 

You failed your math test. You tried out, and failed to make the team.

These declarations of failure are often designed to make us feel bad, and are accompanied by scolds. 

You should have studied more. You should have tried harder.

But what do kids learn from this? What if they did study hard, did try their best? 

They eventually become instilled with an innate belief that they’re simply not good enough. And learning that at a young age impacts everything – self-esteem, confidence, mindset. All the ingredients a person needs to create a successful future for themselves. 

But what if we re-framed the way we see failure? What if we focused on the lessons to be learned from making mistakes, on the different ways we can approach a problem? What if we helped people to discover their unique super power, and how to use it? 

And what if we started to change the way we view success altogether? 

Welcome to the Monthly Hustle.

If you’re a regular around here, you’ll know that I’m all about creating safe spaces where we can share the things that count. So often we follow uplifting accounts on socials, listen to inspirational podcasts, we see the successes. But we don’t get a chance to go behind the scenes, to see the dark days, heartbreaks and failures that all contribute to making those people who they are. Through Blended, my socials, and here on the Monthly Hustle, I’m committed to being open and authentic – because these are the stories that shaped me. 

And if there’s one thing in life that’s certain (apart from death and taxes!), it’s failure. 

But, man, are we trained to be terrified of failure. And I was no different. 

From my struggles with bullying and public speaking to lessons learned from travel, I was conditioned early on to fear failure, fear the judgment that came along with it, and I was so filled with self-doubt that ultimately I was scared of success as well! 

Not so long ago, my family business closed its doors, I was unemployed, my husband and I had to sell our home – it really was failure after failure. Or so I thought at the time.   

But, in the wake of these life-altering changes, came Let’s Talk Supply Chain. This little podcast that seemed to really strike a chord with people. 

In the beginning I didn’t know what I was doing – and I had no expectations – so, each day, I just kept on trying. I taught myself new skills, aaaand got a lot of them wrong. I reached out to people (honestly anyone who would listen!). And sometimes I said the wrong things. 

I tried as many different things as I could to see what would resonate, and those ups and downs were filled with moments of self-doubt and imposter syndrome. 

But – something was working. People were listening, downloading. Brands were paying to come on the show!  

I started to let myself believe that maybe I was onto something.

And that little change in my mindset gave me a glimmer of confidence. When I started to get invited to speaking engagements and events, I would feel the fear but say yes anyway. I wouldn’t sleep, I’d have panic attacks but, instead of pushing all that down with shame and embarrassment, I spoke about it. I found that admitting my ‘failures’ really helped. I realized other people felt the same. 

And I started to understand that failures aren’t a fail. They’re lessons – lessons you can’t move forward without. 

Failure has taught me a lot. It’s taught me strength, resilience, adaptability. It’s built integrity. It’s shown me patience, that you can’t achieve everything right away. You need to make your mistakes, learn your lessons – and realize that sometimes failure is the Universes’ way of saying ‘this isn’t the path for you!’

Don’t get me wrong – I still struggle with self-doubt, imposter syndrome and anxiety on a daily basis. Especially because the face of failure has changed for me. With a top 1% podcast, tens of thousands of amazing professionals in my community and a good amount of time spent on stage, any failure is now a lot more public!  

But working on a different frame of mind has helped me change how I manage all that. 

Reading “The Greatness Mindset” by Lewis Howes really changed my outlook on anxiety and public speaking. He talks about shifting your perspective outwards, and making it about the people you’re serving in the audience instead of yourself. And he explains how we can tackle catastrophizing by taking each possible failure and thinking “Then what?” Ultimately, the answer is always “Dust myself off, learn from it, and try again.” 

Because, ultimately, success is not final, failure is not fatal: it’s the courage to continue that counts. (Winston Churchill). 

I’d love to hear from you. Please share your stories of success after failure, lessons learned or resources you’ve found helpful – and let’s change our perspective on failure for good.  

Sarah 

Let me tell you about something that’s plagued with potential mistakes – networking events!

From leaning in for a cheek kiss when they want to fist bump, to enjoying one too many cocktails, there are pitfalls aplenty when it comes to conference season!

So if you want to side-step common mistakes and avoid a major networking fail, check out the latest episode of Blended. The panel and I take a closer look at networking etiquette, exploring the dos and don’ts; the different things we need to consider, from paying for dinner to staying safe; and, of course, we share our own experiences – which, let me tell you, are pretty enlightening!  

Go check it out, and make sure your next networking event is a success!