The Fatherhood Enterprise: Chapter Three

Our four-year old daughter used to only like eating a couple of things. Ice cream and Mac n’ Cheese. Healthy, huh? Sophia’s mother and I became worried that these were the only foods she liked to eat. We’d present her with hummus, fruits, salmon and the like — but she turned her nose at those.

Sure, it was fun to take Sophia to the ice cream shop. (Her favorite flavor was caramel swirl.) And was nice to see her delighted eyes peering at Mac n’ Cheese, but we knew that this was unsustainable. She had to eat healthier foods. 

Parents, however, know what happens when you simply tell a young kid to “eat your veggies”. You get a big fat “NO”. Direct communication like that with a small child is challenging at best. We had to figure out a different way to motivate her.

Sophia loved watching herself grow taller. We had started making height marks on the wall. Every few months, I’d lightly pencil her height onto the white wall. Maybe a half an inch or so each time. Sophia would squeal in delight at this. “Taller! I’m taller”.

“Yes, you’re taller”, I would tell her, smiling.

It was then that I realized I could motivate her with this.

 One time over dinner, she demanded her Mac and Cheese. I told her: “You know, Mac and Cheese won’t help you grow taller.” I casually pointed over at our little height markers. Her eyes grew wide, and Sophia looked carefully at me. “What makes me taller, then?”

With dramatic effect, I’d pointed over to the salmon dish her mother had prepared. “Fish. You need to eat fish to grow taller.”

"Oh.” I could see the wheels were turning in her head. She looked over at the wall, curious, then back over to the salmon. A long pause — and she started eating her fish with a bit more enthusiasm. 

Would you call this manipulation? Maybe. I’d call it motivation. 

We found something that she wanted. We tied her better eating habits, something we wanted, to her desire to grow taller  — something she wanted. 

And you know what, it worked.

This has a parallel in the business world. If you are in a leadership position, you have to find ways to motivate your team. It’s like college basketball coaching. The smartest coaches find different ways to motivate their players. I think a quote from Kobe Bryant said something to this effect. “Find different ways to motivate your guys. Some dudes need a slap on the butt, others need a kick in the ass.”

I don’t recommend actually kicking anybody’s ass. However, I have a variety of freelancers that I work with, as well as a full-time employee or two. They expect me, in my creative leadership role, to bring out the best in them, to help them do their best work. So I tie performance to something that they want. For example, a cinematographer I often work with is always wanting to challenge himself creatively. So when we are on-set for a standard interview shoot, I ask him, “How can you make this interview different, even better, then our last one?” This excites him creatively.

A new editor I started working with wants steady work. That’s her motivation. So I let her know as long as her current projects are well received,  our client will request more video projects. And this translates to consistent work, which excites her desire for steady employment.

One could perhaps say that these are manipulative techniques. But I can honestly say that my collaborators appreciate this style. Each of my creative partners have things that are important to them. They are appreciative that I care enough to figure out what makes each of them tick. It’s the opposite of micromanaging. It’s coaching your team members, then then letting them fly.

We’ll see if this works in the long run for Satellite.

But at least my daughter is eating her fish and veggies. She’s grown three inches!

How do you motivate your teammates? What works and what doesn't? Let me know in the Comments.