Do Better: From Empathy to Action

I recently posted about my personal trauma surrounding the murder of Ahmaud Arbery. I had no expectation that simply sharing my raw feelings of fear, sadness, and anger would have the impact that it did. To my surprise, people applauded me for having the courage to share those feelings on a professional platform like LinkedIn. I am a champion for inclusion and for creating workplaces that encourage employees to “bring their whole selves to work.” I can’t ask other people to do that if I’m not willing to do the same. And companies cannot cherry pick the part of people that they want to acknowledge or ignore. It is time for leaders to simply DO BETTER. 

Black employees are experiencing compounded trauma right now. We are doing our best all while:

• sheltering in place,
• processing that the pandemic is disproportionately impacting people of color,
• internalizing the news reports about Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor,
• and trying to decide if it is better to wear a mask for health reasons or to go without due to fear of harassment and racial profiling. 

It has been a difficult few weeks, but there are simple actions you can take to support your Black employees. 

You may be asking: What more can I do? Is empathy not enough? Dr. Maya Angelou once said, “When you know better, you do better.” Her words are simple, yet profound. So today, I’m here to help you know better, and I ask that you in turn do better. Moving from empathy to action doesn’t mean you have to go protest or write a letter to the government (although both can help). It means you consciously show up for your employees and ensure they feel seen as a whole person, beyond how they can help you with your bottom line. As a leader, you determine how an employee sees the company at large. How you show up during times of crisis is critical to retain top talent. 

Below I have outlined three key actions and a simple template of conversation to get you started on your journey from empathy to action. This would work as an email, a phone call, or at the start of your next 1:1 or team meeting.

Acknowledge: Acknowledge that you are aware of the circumstances that could be impacting them. Call it out by name. Ignoring it doesn’t make it magically disappear. Your silence can be deafening and speaks volumes to Black employees who feel ignored. 

Ask: Ask what you can do to support them at this time. This could mean giving them some extra time to process. It could mean a few days with flexible hours. It may mean flexible time when people are expected to go back into their offices. Imagine you have an employee who is the mother of a Black son. Right now, that mother wants to have eyes on her son at all times. She may need to drive him to a destination he’d normally walk to so that her mind is at ease and he may have a fighting chance to make it back home alive.  

Listen: Do not compare trauma. If you are not Black, please refrain from saying that you understand, YOU DO NOT and YOU CANNOT. While Black people do not have a monopoly on cultural trauma, it is important not to conflate or try to one up. Create space for this unique situation. Be sensitive and listen to the experience that is being shared with you. We are not a monolith. We are all experiencing this in a personal way. Some people may be more or less traumatized by the situations. Not everyone will want to have a long sit down conversation about their experience. Listen to what they need in the moment and know that the outreach is appreciated, even if it is not responded to immediately. 

Sample Conversation: “I heard about the recent events surrounding Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor. This is a very unfortunate situation. I cannot begin to imagine how you may feel right now as you are seeing this news on top of everything going on with COVID-19. I want you to know that I am here for you. Is there anything that you need right now? You, your family, and your mental health are important to me, so please let me know if you need to talk or need some extra time to just process all of this, I would absolutely understand.”

You could also reach out to your Diversity & Inclusion team and ask how you can communicate directly with your Black Employee Resource Group if you are not already an active ally. There are many ways that you can move from empathy to action. The key is to not be silent. If you have done nothing, take the first step and do better.