Collecting Dots: Part 10 - Learning from Failure

A story about wearing your heart on your sleeve, and why that might not be the best idea.

This is one of those things that everyone says is important, and it's candidly a lot easier to talk about than actually do. I was recently on Ben Fanning's podcast, "CEO Sessions," and we were talking about failures that led to growth and learning. I shared a story I haven't spoken about often, from my time at Live Nation. After a recent push from teammate Scott Marino, I wanted to write a bit more about it here.

A quick rewind: through the first ~8 years of my career, I had the same exact piece of feedback on every single employee review: "wears heart on sleeve." I always thought that was great -- aren't you supposed to be passionate, fiery and energetic? Shouldn't you inject emotion into what you do are really care about your work? The answer is "yes"....however it's really "yes, but."

The "but" here is really important. You can do and be all of the above things, but you need to control how you express them, both verbally and physically. Those matter, especially when one (or multiple) of these conditions is met:

1. The emotions are negative
2. The emotions are strong
3. The emotions affect your work
4. The emotions affect others and their work
5. You are in a position of leadership

These all came to a head, at the same time, at Live Nation. My team had a good thing going -- we were lean, smart, producing good work and having fun (coming up with live music ideas is awesome). We had a new person join to lead our division, and that person brought with them a few colleagues -- most of whom had worked together before. Our entire way of working and vibe changed instantly. But, I was a Vice President. I should have understood that these things happen in business. I should have been more open and welcoming. I should have extended an olive branch and figured out how to work well together. I should have facilitated a culture of collaboration and not of bickering, complaining and an "us vs. them" mentality. I should have recognized that as a leader on the team, more was expected of me.

While I thought most people were feeling the same way, I was apparently the most expressive and vocal...and that got me in a lot of trouble. After a brainstorm one day, I was asked to remain behind, and realized what was happening as soon as I saw the head of HR join. This was a real, bad, warning. I received a PIP (performance improvement plan), based entirely on my attitude and negative impact on the team. I was stunned and devastated. It finally dawned on me what all of my previous "wears heart on sleeve" feedback meant, and why those should have been taken more seriously. Had I started course correcting earlier, the PIP moment would not have happened. But, I couldn't be happier it did.

From that moment on, I was a new person, employee, and teammate. I focused on being poised, stoic, calm, responsive and rational. I still felt all of the feelings I used to, but I understood the impact on myself, my team and my work. I harnessed and channeled them into productive mediums.

I used that experience and failure to change for the better, and become the leader and person I always wanted to be...and who I needed to be for my future teams.

I also felt it was important to share this full story, and so that younger/junior employees can see that seemingly massive setbacks or PIPs can be a gift (or, the right kick-in-the-butt you need).

If you have a similar experience, I'd love to hear about, what you learned, and how you changed for the better moving forward!