Back Pain ...or... FREEDOM

 “From looming wheel chair prospects to mountain biking”

In my early twenties I was having a hard time supporting my back. Due to severe scoliosis, I was well acquainted with daily back pain, which only offered me very little sleep, usually with heavy medication. To be able to complete my university programs, I opted to wear a corset with metal bars so I could survive some sitting during the lectures and take the rest of them semi-lying down. The guard helped me get through the day, but my spine was getting weaker and a wheel chair journey was on the horizon. And I was only in my early 20-ties! I tried to be strong, often hiding the pain, as it was not very cool “for a young woman to live like an old lady”. Many were not aware of the agony and pain I was going through - I got really good at being tough – on the outside. I rested whenever I could and hoped for the pain to be a little less – except that is was not really helping.

Many of us are not strangers to some form of pain. One of the very common one for many of us is BACK PAIN.

For some, it has started at a very young age, for others the introductions have been made later on in life. There can be so many reasons for the pain – some are structural abnormalities, some functional changes we have developed over time, perhaps there was an accident and the back has been taken for a ride.

It is not always evident as to what to do about it, even after a medical diagnosis.

We try to rest, do a little physiotherapy, use pain killers – a little bit of something, but not enough to make a big enough change. We try, we fail, we try something else, we make a little progress just to fall back to square one again with frustration and maybe even depression. If pain becomes chronic and severe enough it turns our life up side down (ha, this can actually be the best thing, but will chat about it later). How do I know? - Because I have been there.

By chance (which is all another story), I was introduced to Yoga. Even though my back was not willing to be challenged right from the start, there was an excitement in my body and some hope for a change. After few weeks of experimentation, I knew I was on the right track. The pain did not go away, but it felt different. I could distinguish qualities of sensations and I could actually feel areas of the body I had no access to before.

I was learning to pay attention and stay open to the experience, rather than be close off, shut down and keeping it under wraps. The journey into my own sensational experience became fascinating. I thought that even if the pain remains, there was an exciting world out there to be discovered.

This careful observation and holding space for things to come up and being felt proved to be not only exciting, but very useful in changing the whole experience of my body.

It felt as if my very back, which was plagued by pain, was teaching me where to take it to free it from its shackles. Yoga provided me with the container for explorations, but it was the willingness to work outside of the box, developing strategies, letting them go, changing the work, adopting new things that allowed me to listen better and offer better assistance to my own healing!

I have studied anatomy, Chinese medicine and acupuncture; I picked the brain of body workers. Then, I would go back and experimented in my body world … and listened more.

My back responded, as we kept working as a team. I discovered that while respecting where I was at, I could gradually make shifts and changes with my body’s co-operation. I was no longer fighting the pain. I invited it to the table to work with me. I offered it various options and It offered me feedback and provided boundaries. It actually became fun – bilateral coaching project. My body would open up so I can get to know it, and I could offer tools I develop along the way.

It took a while to turn the ship around, but not only I am mostly free of pain, I am much more intimate with myself as well as with those I work with. As you can imagine, it was no brainer to share what I have learn with others. I became a yoga teacher to keep learning more and to let people know they can often help themselves becoming more aware, stronger and balanced in their bodies.

I have taught my body (ha, maybe it was the other way around) to feel more, and to ask for what it needs. And it is actually simple: it needs space, stability, and fluidity. Yoga is often thought of as mostly stretching – and there is some stretching, but the body need stability and strength. Too much stretching will give you lots of flexibility, but it is not always all that good for you. Without stability, you can do more damage than good. Body needs balance.

A healthy back needs balance in the hips, legs, and feet. Any shifts at the bottom will show up at the top – a collapsed foot will show up in the neck and shoulder. We need some strengthening of the weaker links, softening the overworked ones, lengthening of what is tight and “frightened”, and waking up what is sleeping.

If you suffer from back pain, there may be much that you can do. Get to know your body – stabilize what is out of “service” and give a break to the muscles that are overworking. Get your CORE in order – and I do not mean just “abbs” – I mean the entire Core, including the abdominals. When in pain, the first reaction is to stay away from exercise, especially from the core work. This may be a good thing if we were to try the typical core exercises often features on YouTube. The right approach, when back is struggling, may however get you out of the ditch. I had to learn to work gently – first giving the body some space to breathe by opening and softening. Then, gradually entice the week links to work up a little sweat. Initially, I did most of the work on the floor, keeping the back stable, while all the support system had to learn how to engage in a new way. I found that working diagonal lines was very efficient in building my own corset while maintaining length and space in the spine. Over time, I challenged the back with more weights, more movement while always giving plenty of opportunity to create traction. I went to LA, to learn how to work with the Yoga Wall – you can hang from it in various configurations, as well as use it for building stability once the foundations have shifted. I bought one for my house to use it daily. After seeing what it can do for me, I bought several of those for my yoga studio, so all the bodies I saw struggling can change their trajectory. Freeing the body from its restrictions – my own and those of others became and obsession. I walk through the Glebe streets and watch bodies – hips rotated, dropping right shoulder, extra rotation in the hips, collapsed foot, shortened neck on one side. All I want to say: “make few changes, work a little – some of it can be reversed, corrected and you can take deeper, easier breaths.”

LEARN and LISTEN. Yep, it takes a bit of time… so what?!

It took some years for me to gradually get my life back, but it was worth it!

Now, instead of a wheel chair strolls, I do mountain biking on some funky trails, lift heavy weights, hike some amazing mountains and sit comfortably on the plain going to Asia. I am not in my twenties – few years back I celebrated my 50th birthday.

My back has never felt better! Perhaps yours can feel much better too.