Adulting? Is This Really a Thing Now?

So how do you define what an adult is? Being over 18? Living on your own? Having a job? Getting into bed by 11 PM? If you grew up before the turn of the century, you probably viewed being an adult as someone who could live without their parents’ money and guidance and could figure things out on your own. In a recent survey, millennials answered that having a job was the most important factor in feeling like an adult; however, about half also said that doing their laundry made them feel like an adult. One overall finding is that when given the opportunity, millennials are just as good with finances when compared to past generations. This includes researching before making a big purchase, putting away money for the future, and spending most of their money on necessities. Call me crazy, but shouldn't adulting include everyday things like solving unexpected problems, understanding credit cards and/or scams, networking (in person), managing time, or finding a healthy work/life balance to prevent burnout? A recent CBS segment highlighted “adulting” classes being offered to young adults in which they can learn how to cook, resolve conflicts, and budget which leads to the question… why don’t they know these skills? Don’t young adults have more access to information than ever before? How did we learn these skills growing up? We learned these skills from our parents or figured them out on our own because that was partly being an adult. Moving forward, parents should let schools teach reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic while parents teach “adulting.” Here are some easy ways to get started with your kids:

1. Teach a man to fish: Just like teaching your child to ride a bike or fold laundry, you can teach “adulting” skills. Include your children when you are finding a new car and show them how you do your research online and in person. Have them go to the bank with you when you are opening a new account or credit card and teach them what your FICA score is and how it affects their finances. Show them where to find customer service representatives when there is a problem with a good or service you purchased.
2. Give them responsibilities: Some children are told that their job is school. However, school eventually ends, while being an adult does not. Chores are a great way to start. Giving allowance is up to you, but it can help teach budgeting and delayed gratification if you make them save up their money for things they want, not need. If they already have a phone or car, have them figure out what to do if it needs to be fixed.
3. Let them make decisions: For life and death situations, yes, please be the responsible party if your child is still too young or immature to make these decisions. But for most other decisions, let them try, and be okay if they fail. If they decide to make an impulse purchase with their money before doing their research, let them feel the sting if they are unsatisfied. If they add too much salt when cooking, let them figure that out when they take their first bite.
4. Get out there and do it: There are plenty of opportunities to learn skills for living independently. Home Depot offers courses on how to fix or improve things in your home. Many colleges are now offering free courses on financial planning, budgeting, and retirement. Local libraries are now getting in on the game as well teaching young adults skills such as creating resumes, buying a house, or starting your own business.

Urban Dictionary, a very fun site, defines the term “adulting” as follows:

Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as: a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grownups.

This is a new term but not a new concept. The reality is that young adults are getting married later, staying in school longer, and depending on their parents more than in the past. Parents have focused on their children’s grades more than their independent living skills; their extracurricular activities more than their problem solving abilities; their college applications more than their ability to resolve conflicts with others. By investing time into teaching and fostering these skills you’ll help ensure that your children won’t have to take Adulting 101 when they are 29.