5 Lessons From Midlife Wisdom School

Two weeks ago, I traveled to Baja, Mexico for my second visit to the Modern Elder Academy where I’m on the guest faculty. For those who’ve never heard of it, MEA is the first “midlife wisdom school” dedicated to helping people navigate midlife and beyond. 

Founded by serial entrepreneur and author Chip Conley, along with partners Christine Sperber and Jeff Hamaoui, it fills a critical need at a time when so many are living and working longer, seeking purpose and new directions. The curriculum helps participants think about how to reconnect with or rediscover who we are and what we want now and next, and how we can strengthen the muscles we’ll need to get where we’re going.

Every time I lead a workshop on midlife transitions, I get a chance to dig into what I want to do and who I want to be in the next stage of my own work and life. On this trip, I thought a lot about becoming a better facilitator and holder of space for others.

Since I’ve been back, I’m reflecting on five lessons I learned:

1. Containers are important. Whenever you design an experience, anything from a celebration to a weekly team meeting, it’s crucial to design it in a way that can stretch to accommodate whatever comes up. When the war broke out in Ukraine, there were ample spaces in the day where we could share our feelings, our distractedness, our need for hope and desire for peace. There was no need for a special meeting that day as the agenda had multiple times slots designed to contain the unanticipated. Because we should always anticipate that hard things will show up. Because the world is filled with hard things.
2. Teaching can happen anywhere. At MEA, the teaching happens everywhere,  including a gorgeous open-air classroom. It happens when collecting stones on a beach, in a kitchen baking and breaking bread with others, on a mountain top with Saul, the Shaman, and on a meditation platform with resident mindfulness guru Teddi (along with sounds of dogs and waves in the background). The instructors build on the particulars of their varied backgrounds. I taught alongside Christine Sperber, a former pro-snowboarder who exudes a singular badass-meets-brilliance energy, and Hesed Najera, a scientist and healer who tended to our bodies in whatever ‘classroom’ we found ourselves in.

3. Rituals matter. Gatherings and connections benefit from rituals, and MEA is intentional about creating rituals that connected us in the moment, added a sense of sacredness to our experience, and left us with reminders (like a bracelet, handmade by a local artisan) of a key moment we all shared. 

4. Values should be evident. You know a place is living its values when everyone can recite them without looking at a piece of paper or a poster on the wall. MEA’s values – Regenerate soil. Regenerate soul. Regenerate Community. Regenerate Local – were evident in the way we spent each day – in a group with time for reflection and meditation and visits to the garden and farm where most of our food was grown. The staff treat each other like extended family and show up with their full selves. Colleagues know each others’ children and parents, since most live in multigenerational households.

5. Community is crucial. Community for MEA begins at home. As one of the biggest employers and real estate holders in the local area, MEA takes steps to be a good neighbor, a fair employer, and a responsible corporate citizen. It’s easy to see these commitments as you get to know the staff, visit the farm, or shop at Minisuper Munchies, one of the “third places” that MEA supports.

Even with a 20-month pause for the pandemic, more than 2,000 people have participated in an MEA program since 2018, either in person or virtually. After a program ends, connections – both to the Academy, to cohort members, and to the greater MEA community – only deepen. MEA invites alumni into a private network powered by zealous alums who self-organize by region and shared interests.

For more about MEA and both its in-person and virtual programs, visit modernelderacademy.com.