Charity Coach 🎯 Helping people who do good do GREAT 🚀 1:1 coaching, fun facilitation & well-good workshops 💡 Follow for no-nonsense non-profit insights💥 WARNING: may contain humour 🤣
You don't HAVE to hang in there. You CAN just walk away. Leaders DO quit. I’ve never regretted quitting anything that made me unhappy, unwell or uninspired. I quit uni when life changed and I had to prioritise earning over learning. I quit my CEO role when my wife was unwell and I had to prioritise my family. I quit a voluntary role that impacted my mental health and prioritised my wellbeing. But I agonised every single time. Quitting went against EVERYTHING I’d been told. What will people think? You’ve wasted your life. Leaders don’t quit. Stick at it. It’s a rough patch. It’ll get better. You can’t walk away. Yes, you can. If it’s impacting your health, wellbeing or happiness, you can walk away. You can just quit. That’s not to say it’s easy. We’ve all got responsibilities and LinkedIn is full of “inspirational” quotes telling you not to quit. You can quit now, quit slowly or start making plans to quit. I agonised about quitting for too long. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just quit when my gut was telling me I needed to. I read about the sunk cost fallacy; how we’ll keep doing things because of the time, effort and resources we’ve already invested in them. That was me. I thought, if I quit, I would have wasted years of my life, wasted all of my efforts and hard work climbing up the ladder. I was focused on what I would lose by quitting, I hadn't seen what I'd gain: Financial security, less debt, quality time with the family, a calmer lifestyle. I realised I had quitting all wrong. I thought it was only about endings, but it's often about beginnings. #charity #nonprofit #nonprofitleadership
Steve Allman
1w
I quit my first charity job aged 20 after 2 weeks in Australia changed my perspective on life (two weeks because that's all the annual leave I could get!). But I came home to quit in person rather than quit from Australia and enjoy more travelling time because "it was the right thing to do". Looking back, 45 year old Steve thinks 20 year old Steve was far too conscientious! 🤣
So true! Heard a brilliant radio documentary about how humans are hard wired not to quit. If you understand that, you understand how much it holds us back. My mum had lots of great expressions. One was “if you’re hitting your head against a brick wall and it hurts, stop!” She was very wise. 😁
Love this. I think walking away when something isn't serving you is a power move!
Gareth McNab
1w
Thanks for posting this, Steve. Your stories have regularly been timely encouragements and this is a very good one for today. Our brains and nervous system do tell us all kinds of untruths at times - and the fear of the unknown can really trap us in some unhealthy environments, whether they be physical and external, or mental/emotional/spiritual and internal. Quitting is always an option, and one that shouldn’t have as much negativity loaded onto it as our minds and many of our cultures do.
Ann Hall 🌱
1w
I stepped back from a volunteer role that I absolutely loved and had put my heart and soul into but it was having a detrimental impact on my well being. I was in tears when I made the call and when I told my team mate but I know it was the right thing to do for me. I had someone to support me through the thought process and backing me up when I made the jump and that made a huge difference in being able to do it. I think we should empower people to be able to walk away.
Maybe don’t use the word quit. Depending on what’s happened or how you’re feeling it’s more: it’s not working for me, my focus needs to be elsewhere, or I think it’s best if I go in another direction. Nothing but peace and love all round
Great post Steve. I think it is so easy worry too much about what others think of us and their expectations, which if you're like me, I find the guilt can be intense when we come to quit. Quitting is such a brave decision, especially when you're unsure about what's next. I would however add, that it is also important to try to leave on good terms, giving as much notice as you can (which may not always be possible depending on the situation) and making sure to do a proper handover.
Totally agree Steve, and love that you give positive examples of how you are living on your terms and showing others that they can do the same. I wonder though if there is a better word than 'quit'. It isn't wrong but, whatever the dictionary definition, our general use of the word quit (or quitter) is laden with negative connotations, when actually your examples were entirely positive because you left or moved on for a reason. Even if actions are triggered by negative factors or are undertaken with an understandable fear of the unknown, if changing direction is done with thought and purpose then it will be exciting, positive and life changing. I used to be a trainer on our inhouse professional and personal training and we would start with the question "If you could be doing one thing right now what would it be" and it was sad how many were actually doing something completely different from their dream - but the bigger the gap between that dream and our current reality, the more we need to take control. Thanks for that reminder!
When I was young, I stayed in a job I hated for too long. When I finally left, and moved to a different role, it made me realise just how unhappy I had been, and I made a promise that I wouldn't put myself through that again.
Charity Coach 🎯 Helping people who do good do GREAT 🚀 1:1 coaching, fun facilitation & well-good workshops 💡 Follow for no-nonsense non-profit insights💥 WARNING: may contain humour 🤣
1wI quit my charity CEO role during a difficult time and after much soul-searching. I sent my resignation letter that night and got up the next day to fly to Poland for a friend's stag do 🤣 No time for regrets, remorse or taking it back. Unfortunately, my memories of that whole weekend were so foggy, I was back at work the following week desperately trying to remember if I'd quit my job or not 🤣