Optimist, New York Times bestselling author of "Start with Why" and "The Infinite Game", and founder of The Optimism Company
When you're struggling, here's a way you can reach out. It's what I do with those closest to me. It can take as little as 8 minutes to feel not alone. 📲 Video from ServiceNow, January 2024, in conversation with Vanessa Smith
Holding space like that for someone is sacred ground.
I really like the code word - "Do you have 8 mins". Very powerful. It is very important to be there when someone needs you. Especially when they are struggling. I wish there was a universal signal to understand and pick up immediately when a friend or colleague is struggling so you can reach to help them. In today's busy work culture, I think to take out some time and ask the person HOW ARE YOU? is very essential, instead of getting into the work conversations immediately. It might give them the strength to come out with their problem if they feel warm and comfortable.
I shared a post about mental health awareness this month, and a friend confided in me that a loved one had attempted suicide last week. I felt unsure how to respond initially, but I tried not to overthink it. I acknowledged it, though it felt somewhat scripted, like something out of a Hallmark card. I gave them some space and checked in on them the following day. Now, as I'm going through a tough time this week, I'm reminded of how challenging it is for me to reciprocate support. While I know it probably comforts them to have someone there, I struggle with letting people in because I've grown accustomed to being self-reliant.
Sometimes the best help we can offer is a listening ear. - Hurting hearts are looking for hearing ears. - Hurting hearts are looking for seeing eyes. - Hurting hearts are looking for safe shoulders. What is required of us is sensitivity. Not necessary our solutions. What is required of us is true listening. Not just our time. The scarcest resource today is your presence. So, be more than just physically present. Be wholeheartedly engaged. Sometimes all people need is you. Remember: comfort matters more than council.
When you're struggling one of the most difficult things to do is reach out,in fact alot of the time it doesn't even occur to you to reach out because you don't want to burden anyone else... So for people who understand this, it's important to recognise the signs in others and in extending support to them also embrace the fact that you are deserving of support too... Pay it forward, get it back!
How often do we miss the signals someone is giving that they need us? What makes us so reluctant to look beyond the obvious and to ask our friends about their lives and how they are doing? Maybe it is our fear of finding out there is something wrong and to avoid getting entangled in the moment and the emotions and feelings of a situation where we cannot fix it. Help is not always about fixing things. Geez, as a guy saying this it is strange (lol). More often than we might think, help is the power of empathy as an intervention in its own right to restore the capacity and create competency in another person so they can take on what is in front of them.
Wow. It doesn't take much time at all to be present for those in our circle. Even if you don't have the words to respond, a listening ear is often sufficient to help someone feel a little better.
8 minutes!
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2moPeople rarely shout from the rooftops when they're struggling. That "I'm fine" after a "how are you?" is usually a blinking neon sign saying otherwise. Been there, done the burnout thing, and trust me, nobody wants that. Now that I'm back on track, I swear I have a radar for folks who just need a friendly ear. Eight minutes of listening without judgment can mean the world. You're a lifesaver, keep being awesome! #BurnoutSurvivor #ListenUp ❤️