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When my husband became the primary caregiver, the comments were shocking. Here’s how we redefined fatherhood. Happy Father’s Day to the man who took a career break to be the main caregiver for our two boys so I could build my career and business. Not gonna lie. This is not how we had initially envisioned our lives together. → Life happens. → Kids happened! → Plans change. — People used to say: 👉When is he getting a real job?” 👉How can you let him live off you?!” 👉He should be the one going out to work, not you!” Imagine saying such things to stay-at-home mums? How can it be acceptable to say these when roles are reversed? I feel ashamed and I regret this → but I kept silent. What I should have said was this: ↓ “It takes 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐧 to let his career take a backseat to his wife’s and be supportive of her. And he already has a job. Way tougher and more demanding than mine.” — Brian Liew - thank you for making this bold decision when our firstborn was 1 year old. You quit your job 7 years ago with no plan and simply to give our kids the best childhood they deserve. Thank you for always going above and beyond and putting the needs of our family first. We are blessed to have you in our lives. Happy Father’s Day, B! 🎉❤️🤴🏻👦🏻👦🏻 “𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧.” - Frank Pittman To those who doubted? Being a stay-at-home dad IS a “real job.” #HappyFathersDay #OurJourney #Fatherhood #RedefiningRoles #SupportivePartners P.S. - Photo was taken at our 10th anniversary vow renewal, in Dec 2023. We sure have come a long way… 🤍
Hi Shulin Lee, Brian Liew is a legend!!! A decision like that is monumental. I have always said us working dads have it easy compared to stay at home mums. My uncle in the UK was a stay at home dad for his 2 kids while my aunt was the sole income earner. I married very young and at the time it was unusual to marry a person from another culture and we copped a lot of racism from both sides, especially in restaurants. I was the Chief Nappy Changer for both our boys, including bathing in laundry tubs and bathroom basins. Today, even though I am the main bread winner I do all the washing, ironing, vacuuming and gardening. Our photo more than 30 years ago 🤔. Happy Father's Day to all the dads 😃
The decision for SAHD or SAHM is for the couple to make in the interest of the family; either way, lots of sacrifices needed. Others not in this decision should keep the opinions to themselves. Period. well done Brian Liew Shulin
What a beautiful story and a beautiful man! It says a lot about what a secure man he is that he's able to make such a Courageous decision. You've a rock of a husband Shulin Lee ! Actually it takes a real man to break the mold of society that men should be the key breadwinner. From a purely objective, R.O.I perspective, different people have different skillsets. If the wife is better at making money, doesn't it make sense for him to support her in that pursuit? The net gain for the couple is actually higher this way.
It takes a real man to be able to take a back seat to his wife's career and brilliance, not every man is able to handle his wife shining more brightly than he does. My husband and i take turns taking a hiatus, and yes I've heard those hurtful comments as well. Gender dynamics can be complicated but I suppose if we are all just a little kinder, the complications would resolve itself.
Gorgeous dress for your 10 year renewal vows. Here's to leading the way by defining what works best for your family. It takes an extraordinary couple to carve out their own version of family, against perceptions, social expectations and naysayers.
There are only two things that give life meaning: 1. The experience you go though, and 2. The impact you have on others. (@sadhguru) Neither refers to the opinions of others. On our deathbed, we will never think, "I should have acted on Ms Karen's comments." They don't matter then, they don't matter now. You do you. 👍
Indeed. No one succeeds alone. The team, the family and the loved ones who stand by you matter. Like a housewife who does not draw a salary, no bonus, no paid leave or sick leave, most of all, no performance bonus, a male home maker only has his courage and faith to go through the doubts, the gossips and what not. On this special day, give him an extra hug, kiss and a tab on the shoulder to let him know he's loved, he's appreciated. Happy Father's Day, Shulin Lee and your hubby!
For whatever it may, Brian Liew you have made the best decision for your family. I have full respect for you, brother.
So blessed to have such a loving hubby and super dad Shulin Lee
Strategist | Speaker | Trainer
1moWow it is really amazing to see you guys work together in a team like that. I believe most people's comments comes from their own projections and beliefs of what should be and etc. Being a full time parent is an incredibly difficult job. It is 24/7 compared to a working job where you can have breaks for few hours now and then. What I find impressive is how he is willing to do what is needed for the family. Sure seems like a guy that is very secure in himself and also understands the concept of a team. I can imagine general public of how they view what a man should be or should do can be very outdated or dangerous. I believe end of the day there is no one size fits all and marriage is a team concept. Not about you or me but rather what is best for us and the family. Good on you guys man! Have a great day and don't let anyone tell you how you should live your life as long as it works for you! 💪