When I was a junior executive and mother of three little ones, I realized I had to shift some things around. I made a promise to myself that I would live with no regrets. I never wanted to look back and say that I should have or could have done something differently. I realized early on in my career that no one at work would remember if I stayed late for a project, but my kids would remember if I missed something important to them. That no-regret policy became my North Star. Trust that your decisions are exactly the right ones for you at this moment. (And enjoy the outcomes!) 🎥 An excerpt from an exchange between Harvard’s renowned ‘Mother of Mindfulness,’ Dr. Ellen Langer (@ellenjlanger) and @richroll
My amazing grandfather always said- a decision you make, in that moment, is the best decision for you otherwise you wouldn't have made it. Stop trying to over analyze it.. it won't help. Instead trust yourself that you are making decisions that are right for you
This reminds me of knowing what’s urgent vs what’s important. Also the 10 decision rule - will this be remembered in 10 days, 10 months or 10 years and to whom will it impact the most?
Love the No-Regret Philosophy! Two other adjunct approaches I've used in my life: "Don't future f*ck yourself." And, "Most people ask 'why?' I often ask, 'Why not?' when determining to take the unconventional road."
Making decisions will teach you something. Not making decisions will lead you nowhere. Let's make decisions that will teach us something and hopefully lead us to a more harmonious reality. 💛
Can you please share the link or reference to the fuol interview?
I completely agree that family and health are the most important things in life, but why spread a narrative to young people, especially females, that no matter how hard you work, no one will appreciate or remember you? I don't understand why senior management is always presented to youth as profit-hungry, evil people who will never appreciate your hard work. Now that you are in a leadership/executive role, would you not remember if a team member stayed late for you or saved the project/company from a critical situation?
I love this, Shelley Zalis. I try to live a life as true to myself as possible, making my decisions on what ‘feels right’ when I sense into it, or actively practice intuitive techniques to get an answer. I have learnt to then trust it and go with it. Has this always been easy? No. I used to frequently suffer from FOMO! Do I still sometimes find myself with regret? Yes. - but it’s usually in the instances when I didn’t follow through with what I knew. The fear of getting it wrong can be so paralysing that sometimes we don’t even start, or start but don’t finish. This is what I’m trying to overcome in this current stage of my ‘fearless journey’. - Less perfect, more just me. 🙂 Thanks again for sharing this.
“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” ~Jonathan Larson. What a wonderful way of putting this. Thanks @ellenjlanger Yes, you’ll never know – would it be better, worse, the same – and that’s okay. The alternative, of course, will make you batty and resentful, tripping over if-onlys or what-ifs, stealing your focus and robbing you of joy. Some things #SimplyCannotBeKnown and you can still appreciate what you have, and relish who you are. So, how old do your students have to be to get it?
The big takeaway: Harvard & Yale are terrible 😉
Agree 100%. I promote the idea that there isn't a "RIGHT" decision. Instead make your decision the RIGHT one with your thoughts and mindset. Whichever decision you make, you'll learn, grown, and experience new things. If you look through that lens, you'll be in a better place when/if you decide to go another route.