Ruth Zive’s Post

Now and going forward (hey, 2024): self-acceptance and -discovery over self-improvement; how I want to feel over what I want to do. On a similar journey? Wishing you safe passage. ✨ #Neurodivergence #Neurodiversity #DiversityIsBeautiful #AuDHDburnout #LateDiagnosis #HealingJourney #SelfAcceptance #SelfDiscovery

If your child, niece, nephew, grandchild, best friend was always saying horrid things about themselves wouldn't you be alarmed. You'd respond out of love and encourage them to see the best in themselves. And you'd be right! So why do we fall into thinking it's OK to berate, discourage and put ourselves down? Here are three tips to help you change this behaviour 1️⃣Notice when you are doing it 2️⃣ Stop as soon as you notice - and silently apologise to yourself 3️⃣ Say something positive instead Your subconscious hears everything you say because it isn't logical, it has no reason not to believe whatever you tell it. So help it believe good things instead. You'll feel so much better. Sue x #confidencefirstcoaching #womeninmidlife #womenempoweringwomen #midlifetransformation #liveyourbestlife #bekindtoyourself

"I love my husband, but..." I've had 2 conversations like this today,  talking about 1:1 coaching and my 'ultimate husband and child hack pack' These women are amazing.  Tremendous.  Heart-centered.  Giving.  Accomplished. And... suffering. There's ways to sugar coat it, sure. But they are suffering in their own ways. Stressed.  Living in "should" Feeling unfulfilled Feeling - not unloved - but certainly not fill to overflowing with love from their husbands.  Depleted.  On Fumes. Pouring from an empty cup. Marriages work best when EVERYONE feels fulfilled.  Loved.  Admired. Filled to overflowing.  Masculine being respected, admired.  Feminine being validated, feeling safe.  Everyone feeling seen, heard.  Understood.  Appreciated.  Involved. That's why I created "The ultimate husband and child hack pack" - to help clean up the miscommunications and misunderstandings. Address the miscues. One woman said, "I can't help but feel he's actually miserable, and only staying to be nice." And it could all be so different, so quickly. I cover it all:  How to human beings actually communicate, and how to tell, quickly. How to ask in such a way others can accomplish our request. How to bring pressure to your requests without nagging or harping.  How to create more intimacy.  How to bring out the best in each other. How to get to what you truly need and want to be your best self. How to get to what's real for you and your partner in a way you're motivated to show up... and more! All digital, all available immediately.  PLUS, three 1:1 calls with me to tweak everything to your situation. Perfect for wives who want the best from, for, and with their husbands and kids.  Perfect for husbands who want to best from, for, and with their wives. https://lnkd.in/eehYKv9H #leadership #marriageadvice #menscoach #hacking #moms #momswhowork #attitude #resultsdriven

Are you a black woman who feels overwhelmed this holiday season? I'm thinking about a live workshop on how you can reset & heal during the holidays. Interested? Comment "interested" below. #blacklinkedin #blackbusinessowner #burnout #stress #creativity #holiday 🎄

We're going about imposter syndrome all wrong. We've turned it into a discussion about growth and getting outside of your comfort zone. I don't believe this is what imposter syndrome is at all. Like trauma of course we can grow from the experience and that can be really powerful. But what you are feeling might be vastly different than just discomfort. Here's how I'm thinking about it: Discomfort/Growth/Outside Comfort Zone - you chose to speak up in a meeting at work even though it wasn't easy for you. Imposter syndrome - you feel paralyzed because you don't even feel worthy... This could be not even feeling like you could create content or start a business because you're just not good enough. That's how I felt for a long time. I wanted to start my own business and be a content creator for about 10 years. BUT I just couldn't do it. I did other things in my life that required massive growth. 3 1/2 years ago I moved halfway across the country when I had never lived more than 30 min from home. However, when it came to business and content creation I wasn't ❌ attractive enough ❌ skilled enough ❌ worth being heard ❌ unique enough I was utterly paralyzed by by that lack of self worth. There is so much more healing that had to be done in order to get me to this point where I enjoy my business and my content. It wasn't as simple as pushing myself to try something new. If you feel paralyzed you're not alone. It's really hard. If you keep working on yourself, one day you will feel worthy too 💜 _____________________________________ 👋🏻 I'm Sabrina I'm a transgender woman empowering humans to live authentic lives 😁 Enjoyed this post? Follow me for more 🔔 💜 #thisversionofyou #changingwork

The pain of not feeling a “real” man. Part of my commitment to leadership and supporting others in their leadership growth is sharing my own story. I do this to show it’s normal for even the highest performers to struggle and have challenges to overcome. Plus, how can I expect others to be vulnerable and trust me with their deepest and most challenging thoughts if I can’t display that same courage? So today, I will share about my infertility and how that has and is affecting my relationship with Sara and my self-view. We are told as men that “vitality” and being able to father children are the ultimate signs of masculinity. So I’ve had shame about my inability to do that, and this is the first time I am publicly sharing it. Roughly 10% of men and women are infertile, so this issue affects many millions of men and couples worldwide. My infertility has created challenges and pain for Sara and me as we figure out what our life will look like. If we can stay together, and how we, and especially she, find meaning and purpose beyond the stereotypical having children. Maybe because of this infertility, I have always been driven by performance, finding ways to be better and better at whatever it is I’m doing. Now, that is manifesting as having a larger and more significant positive impact on this world through what I share on social media, leading men’s groups, and primarily through my work with creative founders and leaders. I share this to show we all have our issues and challenges, and just because it may look like everything you see is rosy and perfect. The reality may be quite different. That person sharing their highlight reels on social media, may also have struggles they are hiding through fear or judgment, shame or embarrassment. When I see the world through this lens, I find it easier to be compassionate and remember to be curious and ask deeper questions of myself and others. If you are experiencing similar issues around masculinity, your worth, or what brings meaning to your life, reach out and let us talk. #ItsOkayToBeDifferent #InfertilityIssues #WeAllNeedLove #ThereAreManyPathsToHappiness

It's #womenshistorymonth and I want to briefly talk about imposter syndrome. If you, like me, did not know what “bicycle face” was, it was the medical term coined specifically for women when they were able to begin to, you guessed it, ride the bicycle. Similarly, imposter syndrome was not actually determined to be a syndrome, but was an observed phenomenon, until, like bicycle face, could be used as a means for push-back to women and people of color. -Reshma Saujanj, founder of #girlswhocode, gave an incredible and insightful commencement speech on this. It's linked in my references for the post below. You Can Read Here ⏬️

• BEHIND THE SMILE • Rage simmers… Sometimes it’s mild, but sometimes, it’s off the scale, wild! Do you ever feel the rage? 🔥 Maybe like me your rage can rear it’s ugly head out of nowhere. I’m really intrigued by how society can’t deal with women’s rage. I’m reading lots about women’s rage and how it’s reputation is so complex. I’m in the process of writing a Rage Manifesto and I need to talk to lots of midlife women about their rage. If like me you’ve battled with the overwhelming emotions that midlife often brings with it, consider the daily practice of therapeutic journaling. Even if your rage isn’t at dangerous levels, writing about why you feel rage and what has triggered it, can be really liberating. After all, midlife women are not unhinged! We just need to learn how to channel what should be a very powerful and positive emotion. I’m interested to know if you struggle with rage, whether you suppress this emotion, how you deal with it. In the name of research I’m keen to hear your rage story and how you feel about it? Let’s connect ! #midlifejourney #rageonthepage #journalwithease

"Why do waves of fear come up? Because we know that repetition causes those neural pathways. They always have that intense feeling, but they never get to the end point. So, they're always going to have that stress response. And so, when they have children, when those children evoke those high intense emotions (and of course, they're very cyclonic in their nature and very snotty, etc.), that intensity will then evoke that same stress response in that parent that they had when they were a child, which they never got to learn to know how to regulate that feeling. So, they will instantly go to their stress response. And we know that parenting is hard. It's one of the hardest jobs on the planet. And when you have stress, you are not in your conscious brain, you are not cognitive and rational; you are drawing on what is those pre-verbal behaviors and learnings that you've developed. And they are sort of autopilot behaviors. So, you know, it's a tricky beast. And I just think we have to go right upstream and really help at the beginning of life. We need to help a pregnant woman and an expectant father to start to bond with that baby whilst they're in utero. We need to look at what is the awake cycle, the sleep cycle of this fetus. Let's respect it. Let's have communication, start that attachment because it's the start of life, and that's when it needs to start. And I honestly believe that if we—it seems like such a simple fix, but for some reason, it's the most expensive . . . . . . #FearFactorExplained #NeuralPathwaysInsight #StressResponseAwareness #EmotionalRegulationJourney #CyclonicParenting #ParentingChallenges #ConsciousParenting #PreVerbalBehaviors #TrickyBeastParenting #BeginningOfLifeSupport #BondingWithBaby #RespectingFetalCycles #CommunicationForAttachment #StartOfLifeJourney #SimpleFixComplexImpact #UnderstandingStressResponse #ParentingOnAutopilot #ExpectantFathersRole #PregnancyBondingExperience #EmotionalIntelligenceMatters

We probably all have it to a certain extent. But when we never give in to it, subconsciously it becomes your personal new normal. Your default setting. Your subconscious is nowcsetbto give you a little pang of guilt every time you consider doing something for YOU. Keep it up lobg enough and it’ll cause you marital problems, or it starts manifesting itself as parental rage. Social isolation. Anxious and overthinking when you don’t make plans. Perhaps you catch yourself thinking ‘I’m not even sure what I enjoy anymore’ on a regular basis. You’ve caught yourself in a negative thought loop, stuck in guilt and no idea how that getbyourself unstuck from it. Good news: I know why you do it (been there, done it 🙋🏼♀️) and how to get unstuck from it! Enter the words EXPLAIN in the DM and I’ll tell you all you need to know. #stuck #sahm #workingmum #family #parents #mum #dad #hypnotherapy #burnoutprevention #mentalhealth #selfcare #teenagers🙄 #mentalhealthmatters #toddler #kids #parentingtips #parentaladvisory #motherhodunplugged #ppa #ppd #selfcare #hypnotherapy #sleep #calm #overwhelmed #fedup #selfdoubt #parentalrage #hypnotherapy #angrymom #depleted #depletedmom #depletedparents