Noah Kagan’s Post

Mum has had 9 months to connect with that child, so don't worry if you're not immediately hit with a wave of mad love. The kid will also need mum more than you for a while, don't get disheartened, I know I did. Wait until a little later down the line, that's when you get a best mate to play with, share stories and build memories. Also, be emotionally consistent with your kid, even when you're tired and just want to lose your shit. Staying calm and talking to them works better and saves time, they honestly just want you to hug them most of the time. Something I honestly had to learn the hard way.

Mine just turned 1 - the only piece of advice i think you truly ever need (that you wont learn until it's too late) is saver everything. The hell on earth phase, the can't sleep, the nighttime sing along. Saver it all. In 1 year i've already begun to realise just how fast they truly change. My little lad has a smile that can send the crappiest day into the best just from one flicker of joy. You'll do amazingly, just by being you.

Alright, buckle up new dad. Here's your crash course in fatherhood: 1. Embrace the chaos. Your life is no longer your own, but that's the point. 2. Sleep is for the weak. Or the childless. You're neither now. 3. Master the art of one-handed everything. It's a survival skill. 4. Your partner is your ally in this beautiful mess. Don't forget it. 5. Poop happens. Often. Everywhere. Accept it with grace. 6. Patience isn't a virtue; it's a necessity. Cultivate it like your life depends on it. 7. Trust your gut, but don't be too proud to ask for help. The village isn't just for the child. 8. Cherish the small victories. First smile, first step, first night of uninterrupted sleep - they're all gold. 9. Remember, this too shall pass. The good and the bad. Stay present. 10. Finally, love fiercely and openly. It's the one job you can't screw up. Welcome to the dad club. It's the hardest, best thing you'll ever do.

Don’t rely on your partner to carry the mental load of everything. Think through what needs to happen in your house, and do it without needing to be asked, and without asking. Do those things well so she doesn’t feel like she has to do it over again. Communicate with family for her so she can focus on taking care of herself and providing for the baby. Change diapers. Clean. Cook. Prioritize mom having time to sleep and to shower, and to care for herself. Do all that and you’ll be an incredible role model to your kid.

a whole post I wrote about it Noah Kagan i was TERRIFIED kids would ruin my life & biz 4yrs, 2 babies later, here’s what I’ve learned: • "time" will forever feel different • find your “village”, that sh*t is real • the pressure is immense, ask for help • "balance" doesn't exist, don't keep fighting for it • sometimes you'll question if it was the right move • sometimes you'll have 0 doubt it was 100% right • definitions of pain & joy will completely change • 2 kids ≠ 2xs harder, you've been through it before • "the days are slow, the weeks are fast" is bang-on • it's okay to grieve the life + freedom you once had • kiddos expose your cracks, it's hard but necessary • acknowledge those cracks, build systems to repair • find people you feel safe saying what you really feel • when you’re breaking, 10 deep breaths are powerful • like before starting on LI, you're never "ready" • definitions of "priorities" changes, things must go • systems help you decide what will stay or go • doing this with someone? know they’re struggling too • brains have capacity limits, you'll hit them, but it won't last lastly, almost every part of your life will change drastically - some "better", some "worse". just remember you define better or worse.

Four words: "This too shall pass" Parenting is an incredible experience - with plenty of ups and downs. The downs go by fast, but the ups go by faster. Spend 3/4 of your time experiencing both, and maybe a 1/4 of your time documenting for the future. (Also don't put your kids' faces on social media until they're old enough to have agency over their bodies/image. It's better that way for everyone. That's less a parenting tip so much as a strong suggestion.)

Only listen to advice from existing parents and/or legitimate caretakers that YOU ask advice from. Everything else is unsolicited noise and more often than not, probably not the best advice given your situation; even including this guidance ironically enough. Assuming you and the wife are emotionally available, you’ll figure the rest out. 🤙 Anecdotal evidence - literally holding my newborn while she sleeps and Momma Bear is upstairs with the almost 2 year old as I type this out. We followed this guidance and we couldn’t be happier. “2 under 2” isn’t so bad 😊

My two cents of advice: Don’t forget your identity as her husband when you take a new responsibility as a father. In this new challenging phase of life, be there for your wife and support her as she will be going through a roller coaster of emotions, hormones and physical changes. Remember you two are husband and wife FIRST before Parents. Enjoy this new journey and try to be there for your partner. It’s very challenging between the breastfeeding and the diapers change, but you two will come out victorious.

Breastfeed (if you can) & Breastfeed as long as possible (Don't let society shame you otherwise). Your Children are magnets- so may the music you listen to- the words you speak-the thoughts that fill you = be wonderful.... **Patience Patience Patience** Also stand & speak directly in front of them as their eyes are adjusting you want to make sure you aid them in this process by standing directly in front of them as you speak- No need for baby talk like baba etc- Children are Amazing- speak clearly... Also Avoid letting too many people hold them & spread their germs on your baby. Have your wife eat the healthiest & best foods as possible (it makes a difference). I could go on & on Lastly- regardless of your spiritual beliefs the bible makes for good reading.... (lessons/parables/good deeds etc). #CONGRATULATIONS #tGbtg

Everything you do for work is about to take a backseat. You won’t have the time, or the mental/emotional capacity or desire to give it the attention. The quicker you adapt to that fact, the quicker you can focus on what matters in life and enjoy being a parent. The slower you adapt and try to hang onto it, the more stressful life will be.