8 Tips for Thriving as a Minority Woman in Tech (or any industry)
Based on my experience as a minority/1st-generation immigrant/ESL woman in tech for the past 30+ years
#6/8: Don't try to be everything all at once.
I resent the number of times I’ve been asked, “How do you do it all?” My spouse was never asked that. (On a positive note, when you’re older (whether you have kids or not), people don’t ask you this sort of thing as much.)
The problem with “doing it all” is it’s based on the belief that I should be doing it all (or even that anybody can actually do it all). And my male partner should not. In reality, we turned gender roles/norms on their heads. He was the one making play dates and picking up kids from school, for example. And I wouldn’t be where I am today without his support.
But this idea, that we have to meet a huge number of conflicting societal expectations simultaneously, is widespread. It’s not confined to mothers or women or women working outside the home. And we internalize it.
I challenged this “conversation,” so to speak. I would give 100% of my effort to my work while I was working. Which meant I was giving 0% to everything else at that moment. I didn’t try to “do it all.” And I didn’t try to make my life look like a picture of what I’d been told was ideal or normal. And I relied heavily on a network of friends, family, and helpers for the rest.
I decided as a young woman that I wouldn’t follow the rules of what had been laid out for me, for women. That includes the overwhelming burden to be and do “it all,” which isn’t healthy, sustainable, or reasonable.
My advice: Change the conversation to “No, I can’t do it all,” without guilt. Operate under the assumption that nobody can do it all. And work to create a support system for yourself.
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SaaS+Tech Exec | Seed > IPO > Fortune 5 & Everything Between | Building High Growth Teams
3moLove seeing the change driven by amazing women like you! Hope to be an ally wherever I can.