Kimo Ah Yun’s Post

Colin Campbell says that the way our society treats grief—and people in grief—is cruel and backward, and it needs a radical reimagining. https://thefp.pub/3OxZ4Bl He, of all people, would know. Four years ago, Colin, his wife Gail, and their two teenage kids were driving to Joshua Tree, when they were T-boned by a drunk and high driver going 90 miles an hour. Colin and Gail survived. Their two children, Ruby and Hart, did not. How do you live after that nightmare? How do you support a friend, a colleague, a brother or sister, who literally does not know how to go on? Colin’s new book, Finding the Words, attempts to answer those unimaginable questions. It tells the story not only of his own pain in the weeks and months following Ruby and Hart’s death, but also breaks down our society’s misconceptions about grief, which he calls the “grief orthodoxy,” and it provides practical advice for a different kind of approach to grief—one that is more truthful, real, and connected. People say to the grieving “There are no words” because they’re scared to confront the hard conversation. As Colin writes, it “acts as a perfect conversation killer. This empty phrase immediately ends any chance of a dialogue about loss and mourning. It encapsulates all that is wrong with how our society handles grief.” https://thefp.pub/3OxZ4Bl

Grief is messy, one day you think you are past it, that you have finally healed, and the next day it can plummet you into waves of despair. Its depths encompass pain, sorrow, emptiness, and the bewildering sense of not knowing what to do with any of it. It's a sensation of abandonment, of having precious moments stolen away from you. Grief can manifest from the loss of various aspects of life—a relationship, a parent, a grandparent, a beloved pet, a whole community, or even loss of friends and family who are still alive. It transcends mere death; it's a complex tapestry of emotions. As you know, this book has been a passion project in the making but this is just the beginning. Writing this book and moving through this vulnerable publishing process has helped me heal in countless ways, but also shown my boys that they can honor their own grief as well. I know this book will land in the hands of the ones who need it the most, and I appreciate all of your support in spreading this to the world. Links to purchase here: https://lnkd.in/ehss2gnR

Many of us think about grief as what happens when someone we love dies, but we grieve so much more than that. We have little losses every day–our bodies age, our relationships change, and our planet suffers. Francis Weller distinguishes five gates of grief that all humans walk through and offers us insights into how ritual, community, and compassion can be resources in our apprenticeship with grief. First Gate: Everything we love we will lose. Second Gate: The Places that have not known love. Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World. Fourth Gate: What we expected and did not receive. Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief. To open yourself to all these ways that grief walks into our lives might be scary. Yet they are also the way gratitude and joy comes in. Can we tune into it? How do we get creative with grief? What is our shared grief for this rapid changing world? How do we create ways to tend to it together? So we can keep our hearts open and fluid and soft? So we can keep being compassionate towards others? Together with Jamie Colston I am hosting our first session on grief tonight. We will get to know each other and work with systemic and ritual practises. A way to get to know us, our way of working and to explore some of the grief we are all holding. Link is in the comments

While tending to my garden, I stumbled upon a valuable lesson that can also be applied to life. Just like a garden needs care and attention to thrive, so do we. The ability to recognise and remove weeds is really crucial too. 🌿 We live next door to a park and many seeds from the trees fall into our garden. When we first moved in, we didn’t recognise them when they were very small. We would ignore them, hoping they would grow into something good. By the time we recognised they were weeds, they had established roots and needed a lot of effort to dig them up. We have now learned to recognise them while they’re very small and easy to pull out. In the same way, because grief is often not talked about, we can accept misinformation as truth. Sadly, these unhelpful one-liners can sound like common sense, but if believed can keep you stuck in your grief journey for years. It’s important for you to learn to recognise misinformation as early as possible so it doesn’t take root and stop you from moving forward after loss and getting your life back. For example, after my mother died, a lady trying to be helpful said, “You mustn’t cry. You have to be strong for your brothers and sisters.” Although she was trying to be kind, these unhelpful comments kept me stuck for years in the pain of my grief. Sometimes, we bury our grief deep within ourselves, thinking it'll go away on its own. But, just like weeds, unresolved grief can keep resurfacing and hindering our growth. Instead, let's water our emotional gardens with kindness, patience, and understanding. Embrace the process of healing, allowing ourselves to mourn, and seek support when needed. Remember, just like a beautiful garden blooms after proper care including weeding, tending to our grief can lead us to a path of renewed resilience and purpose. ❣️ What unhelpful comments or misinformation have you received? How do you care for your grief today? Share your progress in the comments below! 👇 #HandlingGrief #GriefSpecialist #GriefSupport

An amazing children’s book about grief and remembering those we loved who are no longer here with us. 🥰😌 Now available on Amazon!! Book overview In “Remember,” the delicate subject of loss and grief is approached with gentle words and heartwarming illustrations, making it a tender companion in times of sorrow. This beautifully crafted book thoughtfully guides children and their families through the difficult journey of remembering loved ones who have passed away. With each turn of the page, “Remember” intertwines stories and comforting messages that allow readers to understand that while their loved ones may no longer be physically present, their spirit and memories continue to thrive. This book provides a safe space for readers to process their emotions, reflect, and cherish the joyful moments shared with those they’ve lost. The narrative is designed to embrace the various feelings that accompany grief—sadness, confusion, and even anger—while offering solace and a sense of connection. The illustrations complement the heartfelt words, crafting a soothing environment where readers can find peace. “Remember” is much more than just a story; it’s a treasure chest of memories. The back of the book features special pages dedicated to preserving the legacy of lost loved ones. Families are invited to write down favorite trips, cherished recipes, memorable stories, and other precious anecdotes that reflect the unique essence of those they’ve lost. These personalized pages transform “Remember” into a lasting keepsake, preserving the legacy of their loved ones for generations to come. The act of writing down memories is meant to foster healing and help readers understand that while loss is an inevitable part of life, the love and memories shared are everlasting. By engaging in this creative process, families not only honor their loved ones but also build a bridge to their past, ensuring that the warmth of their presence continues to illuminate their lives. “Remember” stands as a beacon of comfort and warmth, illustrating that through love, memories, and shared stories, the essence of our loved ones remains forever

Does time heal all wounds? No, it does not! Grief is ongoing and pervasive. It’s not something that fades away or disappears with time. We do a disservice to those in grief when we place expectations on how long it should take before they move on. The truth is, you never truly move on. Instead, you learn to adapt, to morph, and to accept your new normal. Life has changed forever, and that’s okay. Grief is a testament to the love and connection we had with those we’ve lost. It’s a journey, not a destination. Embrace your feelings, honor your process, and know that it’s okay to carry this grief with you. It’s a part of your story, a part of your heart. Let’s support each other without timelines or expectations. Share your experiences and let’s create a space where we can grieve openly and honestly. Join the Grief Relief community - https://lnkd.in/g3V2EDKD #GriefJourney #NewNormal #LoveAndLoss #OngoingHealing #SupportEachOther

United in Sorrow: Finding Solace in Shared Experience Helen Keller, a figure of immense resilience and wisdom, once said, "We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world - the company of those who have known suffering." These words offer a profound reminder of the universal nature of grief and loss. In our darkest hours, it's easy to feel isolated, as if we are navigating an uncharted territory of sorrow. However, Keller's perspective invites us to see our experience through a different lens—one of shared humanity and collective understanding. Grief, in all its forms, connects us to a vast network of souls who have faced similar pain, who have weathered the storms of loss, and who carry the scars of bereavement. This "company" that Keller speaks of transcends time, culture, and circumstance, encompassing all who have loved and lost. Recognizing our place in this expansive community can be a source of comfort and strength. It reminds us that our feelings are valid, our experiences are understood, and our journeys, while unique, are not walked alone. There's solace in knowing that others have traversed this path before us, learning to carry their grief with grace and resilience. This post serves as an invitation to reach out, to share your story, and to listen to the stories of others. In the exchange of experiences, we find empathy, connection, and a deeper understanding of our own grief. We learn that, despite the diverse paths of our lives, the heart's capacity for love and loss is a common thread that binds us. Let Helen Keller's words be a beacon of hope and solidarity. In the landscape of loss, let us find strength in our shared humanity and comfort in the knowledge that we are part of a vast, compassionate community. We bereaved are indeed not alone; we are part of a collective journey of healing, love, and remembrance. Get your FREE Grief Journal: https://lnkd.in/eRFRs6cx #SharedGrief #CommunityHealing #TogetherInSorrow #GriefSupport #TogetherWeHeal #SharedSuffering

Loss, Grief and Duchenne The Season of Grief Unfortunately grief is a steadfast companion for the DMD family. Duchenne grief is grieving over every single physical decline, every single relationship lost, every financial and professional change. It’s also grieving conventional changes that never materialize. It’s being reminded of your own grief as others’ lives predictably plod along unscathed by Duchenne. And it's more, so much more... Many of our Duchenne families endure this season of grief, just trying to get through. For those of us enduring this grief, the article below offers ways to make the grief a bit more bearable. Learn more here: https://lnkd.in/eWzmw6f7 --- For 100+ ways to support the Duchenne family:  https://lnkd.in/eg8FF5VE -Family, Friends and Duchenne https://lnkd.in/gBUF4bzp https://lnkd.in/eqJZXy5a

Reflecting on my journey with Memorial Online, I wanted to share the deeply personal motivations that led me to create this service. It's a story not just of entrepreneurship, but of finding a meaningful way to navigate through one of life's most challenging experiences - the loss of a loved one. The inception of Memorial Online was born out of my own encounter with grief. Like many of you, I've faced the heartache of saying goodbye to people dear to me. Each loss brought with it a profound sense of emptiness and a quest for solace and understanding. I realized that grief, in its many forms, is a universal experience, yet it often leaves us feeling isolated and misunderstood. This realization sparked a desire within me to create a space where individuals mourning a loss could find a community, support, and resources to help them through their darkest times. Memorial Online became that envisioned haven - a platform dedicated to sharing experiences, offering comfort, and providing guidance on coping with grief. My goal was to build more than just a service; I wanted to cultivate a community where every person, irrespective of their background or the nature of their loss, could find a voice and a listening ear. From sharing personal stories to practical advice on navigating the complexities of grief, Memorial Online is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of shared healing. The journey of creating and growing Memorial Online has been both challenging and incredibly rewarding. It's a constant reminder that in the midst of loss, we can find purpose, connection, and a path to healing. This service is more than just my project; it's a shared space for all of us to find a bit of light in the darkness. Thank you to everyone who has joined this community, shared their story, or found comfort in our content. Your strength and courage continue to inspire me every day. Together, we're not just navigating grief; we're redefining the journey of healing. #MemorialOnline #GriefSupport #HealingJourney

A few years before I left Higher Education and after the grieving process I shared about last week, I started planting seeds of gratitude. I am grateful to Higher Ed for providing space to hone my craft of writing. I am a much more confident writer now than when I started. Teaching is part of my life's purpose, and Higher Ed gave me a place to practice, learn, and become a stronger teacher. I am grateful to my previous institution for the opportunity to learn how to set boundaries, albeit slowly. Now, it's your turn. If you've been following along on our grief journey the last couple of weeks, reflect on the types of grief you resonated with. What seeds of gratitude can you gather or plant as you grieve? If that feels overwhelming or too hard, that's ok. Allow the grief to come. Then, see if you can find even the smallest seed. Remember, this is about cultivating a practice of gratitude for grief. It takes time. And by having a grieving process or rituals, you continuously rebuild your resilience and weave in critical hope. Remember that grief is your natural response to loss. This is why each of us has to learn and develop our own grief process and rituals. (More on this soon. Tuck that seed away for now.) In the meantime, make sure to register for this month's free workshop on grieving your career and identity. We'll be gathering (and maybe even planting) a few seeds on November 29. https://lnkd.in/g9rWcEsg