Julie Harris’ Post

Denying accommodations for disabled employees hurts everybody. It feeds the mentality that meeting basic needs is secondary to business, social, and other external expectations. How many of you ignore your basic needs because you're expected to just push through in the name of deadlines, appearance, or not appearing weak? You don't eat because you have back-to-back meetings. You don't sleep because you have a deadline. You don't see a doctor because the pain isn't bad enough yet. You ignore physical symptoms because you aren't weak. Your needs, whether you're disabled or not, are dismissed and deprioritized by others, leading you to eventually dismiss and deprioritize them yourself. What if everyone accepted and prioritized their own basic needs? Then inevitably accepted and allowed others to prioritize their own basic needs? It wouldn't just be a more inclusive world for people with disabilities, it would be a more inclusive world for all. (And businesses would function better when all employees were functioning better.)

HR and management idea: believe disabled employees who request accommodations. Then give them what they need to do the job.

When you aren’t hired, included in groups, invited to parties, or given the same opportunities as others, you may start to wonder whether you aren’t good enough. You may start to wonder whether it really is you that is the problem. You are the common denominator, after all. Right? Right?! Wrong. The common denominator is stigma. The common denominator is a mindset unwilling to see the value in people who look, think, move, or talk differently. But none of this means it is true. Believing you're the problem (even subconsciously) leads to shame, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and other learned survival skills. But, no amount of presenting yourself differently will fix the problem. Because the problem was never you to begin with. In my upcoming book, I go in depth on disability stigma, the oft resulting shame, and the most common survival skills that are developed as a result. You'll learn what's really happening, what is true vs what isn't, and how to stop the cycle. Pre-order here (or anywhere books are sold) https://lnkd.in/gmchHMQE

If somebody has to hide their disability to be respected, accepted, or hired, it’s not their disability that’s the problem, it’s the judgment of it. If somebody is deemed eligible to be interviewed, hired, or promoted until they ask for accommodations, it’s not the accommodation request that is the problem, it’s the judgment of it. If somebody is seen as competent and capable until they disclose their disability, it’s not the disability that is the problem, it’s the judgment of it.

Perfectionism holds me back in life more than anything else. It’s a losing battle. Guaranteed. It keeps me from taking imperfect action. It keeps me from recognizing wins because they aren’t as good as I wanted them to be (impossibly perfect). Yet, perfectionism is something quite common in the disability community when we’ve learned that showing flaws is attributed to our disabilities. It is then often wrongfully used as evidence that we really are less capable, less intelligent, less valuable. We learn to hold ourselves to impossible standards as a survival tactic in a world that often doesn’t understand or accept us. I have a whole chapter in my upcoming book addressing perfectionism, why it develops as a survival skill, and how to stop the cycle. I don’t know if a deeply engrained perfectionist mindset is ever fully gone, but I know it’s possible to choose differently even when perfectionist tendencies still exist. I know it’s possible to not let it hold you back anymore. Pre-order my book to learn more about how https://amzn.to/3UfvrJ4

You don’t have to be proud of your disability to be proud of you. While July is Disability Pride Month, I want to remind you that Disability Pride doesn’t have to be the goal. There is a lot of beauty in life even if you’re not yet or never proud of your disability. It isn’t a bad thing to not feel pride around your disability. I don’t feel pride for my other characteristics that are outside of my control. I do, however, feel pride for my choices. For living my values even when it may seem easier to not. For being kind to others. For believing in myself when others don’t. For moving forward even in the moments I don’t believe in myself. I feel a hell of a lot of self-pride. But none of it is tied to a part of me that I don’t control. And that’s a perfectly acceptable and very powerful version of disability pride. To learn more about being a yoh that you’re proud of in a world that doesn’t always accept you (or your disability), pre-order my book Boldly Belong: The Power of Being You in a Disabling Society https://amzn.to/3UfvrJ4

Disability Pride for me doesn’t necessarily mean I’m proud of my disabilities. It means I’m proud of who I am, and who I am includes my disabilities. It means I know that I’m not less than because of my disabilities. It means I’m not ashamed of my disabilities. And because of that, it means I choose to be me instead of hiding who I am. It means I choose to be me even when it makes others uncomfortable. It means I listen to and meet my body’s needs even when it doesn’t make sense or may be inconvenient to others. No matter how you feel about your disability or yourself (even if you don’t call it a disability), there is power in being you. Even when you’re not readily accepted or accommodated. ESPECIALLY when you’re not readily accepted or accommodated. That belief forms the foundation of my book “Boldly Belong: The Power of Being You in a Disabling Society”. Learn more and pre-order here https://amzn.to/3UfvrJ4

You deserve to love yourself. For who you are. Even when other people don’t. I know that can feel daunting or impossible for many. So I start by helping people see that they deserve to get basic needs met. That they can advocate for accommodations. There are even laws that grant that as legal rights. Then maybe you’ll believe that you are deserving. That you are worthy. That you are enough. And eventually, that you deserve to be safe. To be accepted. To be supported. Without using survival skills to hide who you really are. My upcoming book is all about the how. How to accept yourself when you’ve been taught it may not be safe to be yourself. How to know yourself free of stigma and shame. How to advocate for yourself. How to prioritize yourself over others judgments and expectations. Pre-order here https://amzn.to/3UfvrJ4 or anywhere books are sold.

What if you lived life according to what you want to do, not what others expect or want from you? What if you made decisions based on what was best for you, not what makes others more comfortable with your existence? In my new book "Boldly Belong: The Power of Prioritizing You in a Disabling Society," I offer an actionable guide for those navigating life with disabilities in a world that doesn’t often accept you. It isn’t a happy, overly positive, “your world will be better if you think better” book. It gets into (and challenges) the shitty reality of unjust disability stigma and the oft resulting shame. I directly address results of being shamed like people pleasing, perfectionism, hyper-independence, and a fear of being seen. You learn how the survival skills were developed to protect you, yet taken too far actually harm you. After addressing all the uncomfortable realities that you know all too well, you’ll learn actionable ways to move forward and break the cycles. You’ll learn how to identify who you are in a world that’s made it seem like you have to hide who you are or present as someone else. You’ll learn how to identify and prioritize your needs, values and goals over others judgments and expectations. You’ll learn how to navigate moments that threaten safety while still being you in the ways that are possible. You can regain control. You can live a life on your terms. Even if in part. Pre-order now https://amzn.to/3UfvrJ4

No disability conforms to a one-size-fits-all model, and neither do the accommodations they require. Necessary and effective accommodations may not always make sense to others. Because of this, some requests are often perceived to be unreasonable, unnecessary, or a request for special treatment. “Why don’t you just use noise cancelling headphones?” “You seem fine”. “You haven’t needed it up to this point, why would you need it now?”. “That doesn’t seem like something that is actually necessary”. "If we do it for you, we'd have to do it for everyone." One of the biggest challenges I see in accommodation request processes is that companies often expect a clear-cut "when x, I need y" scenario that can be easily understood. The reality is often far more nuanced and intricate. Every single decision I make is carefully considered against multiple factors, such as my current brain stimulation, the likelihood of triggering a seizure, what food I eat, when I eat, when I take phone calls, how I schedule my day, when I interact with technology, and all the other factors that need to be considered to best manage my disabilities and associated limitations and barriers. Accommodation needs can vary day-to-day or situation-to-situation, making a rigid explanation and approach ineffective and impractical. Necessary accommodations may not always make immediate sense to others, but that doesn't make them any less real or crucial.