Final Boss Sour’s Post

❗️A Message From The Final Boss on National Sour Candy Day❗️ ✉️ Dear Gooberlandians, Happy National Sour Candy Day, especially to all the whiny creatures who are unhappy with my ruthless rule since returning from 80 years of exile. On this holiest of days, let us remember the rich heritage of the celebration. Let us honor the mid-level brand exec at some Big Sour Co. who sent enough signatures to some company with no real authority to designate the holiday. Our forefathers tell us that despite the accomplishment, the act did not make up for a year of poor productivity and the patron exec again was given just the mid-tier of annual bonuses. While trapped in an expired pickle jar for 80 years, I counted the days in cucumber seeds and dill flakes to make sure I never missed this day. I celebrated by reciting the Regal Theater’s pre-movie policy reminder and refreshments plug. It kept me sane. And now that I am back in sour power I want to take a break from enacting revenge on the realm that banished me and wish you all a joyous National Sour Candy Day. To give back today, I am offering all new customers a free box with their first purchase. Sure, we offer this deal everyday, but- Sincerely, The Final Boss

This cringey boomer science teacher totally underestimates this goth girl's science fair project. But when he gets a taste of her Final Boss Sour strawberries, his tastebuds are blown, and he can't help but give her first place!

After an entire night of playing instead of cleaning at the arcade, Ralph the Sanitation Engineer finally wins a prize at the claw machine. That is, until it vanishes into a portal and emerges as an even better reward: THE ALL-NEW FINAL BOSS SOUR STRAWBERRY KIWI!

The Final Boss Sour reporter exposes Jim Swizzle's incompetence and obliterates Bill Bromberg from Big Sour, highlighting their natural ingredients versus toxic concoctions. Finally, Barry Muphen from the Blueberry Gild complains about brutality.