Andrew Wilkinson’s Post

Sometimes it helps to have a thick skin. People may be going through some awful stuff. People may not see a way out, and they may need to do whatever it takes to keep going. A lot of people find themselves doing something for the money and it's hell. They know they have to get up and face it and it's going to be awful. They know the next day and the day after that, is probably not going to be any better. If they're smart and they have a degree of self awareness they realize this is it. And some people are in this situation and they aren't even making enough money for basic sustenance. So if someone isn't "positive" and seems to be "negative", maybe they look at you as part of the reason their life is a living hell, and they don't feel like enabling you in your pollyanna fantasy life that is built on their expense. Consider that this person may even have done all the "right things" you justify your own privilege on, yet you just have the support of power and they don't. And if you can appreciate that, you can appreciate why so many people seem to hate you, despite the fact you dress up and make light of cultural stereotypes as part of your public duties, make condescending pop culture references, tip $1 for your latte, and support tax breaks that allow them to see the dentist, or maybe not, it just depends on how you whimsically define the ones you decide to charitably help today.

“My house is currently a nightmare.” “No one in my family is talking to each other right now.” “I’m in a lot of credit card debt, even though I make plenty of money. I am terrified to look at my finances.” Being a therapist(ish) for 17 years, I have heard a lot of confessions like these from outwardly very successful, capable people. Folks who seem like they have it ALL together. You’d never guess they have these problems. I believe these secret messes are responsible for a lot of the “imposter syndrome” and intense inner criticisms you are going through on a daily basis. “After all,” as your inner critic says, “how capable of an adult are you if your sink is constantly full of dirty dishes?!“ The truth is that no one is living a perfectly polished life all the time. And most of the messes are things we feel internally. For example, a TikTok creator I love, @UnderTheDeskNews, just posted a very professional video today about how they were having a panic attack…and how you can’t tell from the outside looking in. On the inside, we can feel like things are falling apart. But on the outside, it’s rarely noticeable. We are all so good at pretending things are fine, slipping on a mask for social acceptability. We keep our messes secret because we think we will be exiled for having them. We think other people will judge us and not be able to relate. And honestly, sometimes that’s true. Not everyone is good at handling your mess with compassion. But you deserve to find places where your secret mess is not only held in compassion, but also met with the right support, whether that’s a dishwashing buddy or a friendly ear or even transformational work. We ALL have secret messes. So please give yourself a lot more compassion for not having it all together…because NONE of us do. Where’s a place in your life that you’re secretly messy? Can you stop giving yourself such a hard time about that, and consider giving yourself compassion there instead? What support could really turn that around for you?

Anger is tricky. It rises up out of nowhere. You feel it coming up from your chest like a fire that you can't control. A lot of is rooted in unfairness. Inequity. Mis-aligned power or control. It's not fair that your spouse cheated on you or did something else terrible while you were working your ass off, resulting in divorce, and now you have to share weekends with your kids. It's not honorable in the least that you got fired from your job with little notice after building a practice for years, only to be told you have 90 days to piss off. It's not okay that someone who is younger and more social media savvy has somehow now managed to get a supervisory role where they are over you in power and you have to put up with what you see as millennial nonsense. Kids get cancer. Parents die. People go bankrupt. --> It's not fair, this whole damn life. Feeling out of control can cause you to start spinning out. You may even recognize you're doing it but you can't seem to stop it. Anger rises up and rage sets in. You have unhealthy habits as a result. Maybe it's the only way you feel you can express what's inside of you. I see this a lot. The unfair nature of the world around us. It hits doctors harder, because in some way you work so hard you think you're immune from it. You think that you're safe. You have great relationships with your patients and earned so many degrees that you believe you can almost "work your way" to safety. So when the rug is pulled out, it stings even more. We talk a great deal about this in our 90 Day Notice class. It's understandable and perfectly normal to be angry about being terminated from your job. But how do you take this feeling of helplessness and turn it into a productive pathway forward? We work on the root cause of the fear, the letting go of the hurt, and prepare you to feel settled again. Then we roll up our sleeves and we negotiate like hell for your very best future. You are important, you can find a job, you are not going to be seen as an embarrassment to the field. You have tremendous worth. Let's come find it, together. https://lnkd.in/dREP9EB6

I'm just a girl from Iowa. I drive a jacked up Jeep, like to kayak and walk barefoot in a cornfield while gazing at sunsets. In my 40 years being in this world a lot of things changed, except one thing....me. I've had ups, downs, struggles, challenges, failures...you name it. One thing still remains, my confidence and belief in who I am and what I'm capable of. Too often we are embarrassed to lean on those we trust and open up to talk about struggles; resulting in shutting down, isolating and going down a very dark path. Sometimes, life can throw a lot at you, and all at once. I'm here to tell you its okay to talk about these things. 7 months ago, I moved from Florida back home after being there for 7 years. Amongst the many challenges I've encountered since leaving, the hardest was my daughter moving out and to another state. You may be saying to yourself "that's great! You should be happy, what's the problem?" For those Mothers out there, you know the heartache this brings. It was the darkest, scariest, most confusing time of my life. I was drowning in sorrow. But....I remembered who I was. I am the girl that finds a solution to every problem and keeps pushing until its solved. When I stopped hiding and started opening up about how I felt, I found several other industry colleagues who struggled with things they were afraid to open up about. Things far worse and more serious than my daughter leaving home. Some so devastated that they quit their job or contemplated taking their own lives. This shook me to my core and made me want to stand up and share my story. Hurting doesn't make us weak, it makes us human. Always remember who you are and what fuels your fire. Don't lose yourself out there in the rat race and keep pushing, keep going until you rise to the surface. Don't ever let anyone change you or mold you into something that you arent. Have patience with yourself and learn to feel things. You are capable of overcoming anything you set your mind to. In this industry we take great pride in who we are and what we do. If anyone feels they are stuck, in a rut, depressed, sad...give me a call. Night or day, I am here. You are the only one driving your journey in this life. Over this past several months a lot of things changed, except one thing....me. #mentalhealthawareness #selfcare #endthestigma #shiftyourmindset

The 13 most common sources where we waste💰 A few weeks ago, you’ve asked me to create a post about the above-mentioned topic. So, after reflecting om my own former behavior and acting of some (former) clients, I came up with the following list. No blame, shame or judgment here. The purpose is to inspire you to be more mindful with how you spend your money. So, that you can invest in the things that REALLY matter. Whatever that may be for you: Traveling, inviting your friend for lunch, getting a therapist. Enjoy. 1️⃣Various subscriptions It could be magazines, newspapers, apps, (streaming) services. Where do you pay for things you don’t really use anymore? 2️⃣Take-away coffees 1 ☕️ each day for 5 days/week x 4. How much money do you spend per month? How about preparing your coffee at home & using your own thermos mug. Not only cheaper. It’s also reduces waste. 3️⃣Stuff on sale Do you still buy things you don’t really need? Or don’t 100% like? And will never use? But they were on sale? That was me in my 20s. It’s not worth it. 4️⃣Clothes How many t-shirts, pullovers, shoes, jeans does one human need? I’ve trained myself to have less but better items in my wardrobe. And: Only things I LOVE. 5️⃣Your addiction(s)  What’s your shopping addiction? I used to buy way too many body lotions. I’ve stopped doing that during my first sabbatical. Realizing it was just a cheap dopamine hit. 6️⃣Things you don’t need. To impress people you don’t like The only person worth impressing is the person you see in the mirror every day. Impress him/her by quitting this game. 7️⃣Stuff you bought when you feel bad “Retail therapy” is a thing for some people. Be honest with yourself: Does that still serve you? 8️⃣Eating out “too often” What the “right” frequency is only you can know. I tend to feel better when I cook at home. 9️⃣Water and electricity Do you switch off the lights and AC when you leave your house? Do you need to take baths 5x per week? Maybe something worth reflecting on. 🔟Alcohol  Esp. when you live in countries, in which alcohol is only allowed in licensed venues, this is a HUGE chunk of money you can save. 1️⃣1️⃣Books & online courses   I love the fact that you invest in yourself. And most probably 70% of those resources never get finished. Or started. Again: How about less but better? 1️⃣2️⃣Working with coaches, mentors etc. Kudos on making your growth a priority. And: when will you owe your power? Instead of giving it away to others? 1️⃣3️⃣Visits to the doctor & pharmacies Sometimes we have to visit a doctor. And when you commit to making healthier lifestyle changes, your expenses here could be radically reduced. What’s the one thing you’ll stop spending money on today? #personaldevelopment #inspiration #mindfulness #wellbeing #personalbranding

What SOCIETY thinks life is like without alcohol. 🙈 1: Boring 2: Lonely 3: No Fun 4: Weird The REALITY of what life is like without alcohol. 😎 1: Look forward to waking up in the morning 2: Are excited for the next day. 3: Are able to make plans, even if it means being awake early as you have no hangover 4: Are full of energy 5: Are no longer bloated with (no more puffy face) 6: Have a better appetite and look forward to meal times 7: Are not dreading opening mail for fear of debt letters 8: Are not being dismissed when voicing your opinion because I’ve ‘had a few’ 9: Are able to rebuilt relationships with parents, friends, colleagues 10: Receive more compliments! 11: Are not skint and have spare money for nice things 12: Are not having to lie to avoid situations 13: Are learning new things 14: Feel more motivated 15: Feel more appreciative 16: Enjoy helping others 17: Are shake free 18: Make new friends 19: Have new perspective 20: Feel relieved 21: Feel proud of yourself #justsaying #challenge #perceptions #sober #substanceuse #addidtion #sobernotboring

Paradox of our society and time! The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. By Dalai Lama

1. Stop ignoring that friend who suddenly went broke after the loss of job or business. Reach out. 2. That single mother playing independently is not fine. Reach out. 3. That jobless drunk brother who has been branded ‘useless’ by your friends and family. Reach out. 4. That beautiful woman who you think has it all. She is not fine. Reach out. 5. Your girlfriend who suddenly became lazy, withdrawn and rude. 6. Suicide is not selfish. It is selfish to remind a depressed person that suicide will only transfer the pain to others. There is no pain in death. Depression seeks that peace. Reach out. 7. No. A bottle of whiskey is not reaching out. 8. And pay bills after suicide is HYPOCRISY. Reach out to your friends. Hugs to you fighting in silence 🫂🫂

I saw this and agree that regardless of your age... good points to consider: BY AGE 35. YOU SHOULD BE SMART ENOUGH TO REALIZE THIS: 1. Someone makes 10x more than you do in a 9-5 job because they have more "leverage" with their work. 2. Distraction is the greatest killer of success. It stunts and destroys your brain. 3. You shouldn't take advice from people who are not where you want to be in life. 4. No one is coming to save your problems. Your life's 100% your responsibility. 5. You don't need 100 self-help books, all you need is action and self discipline. 6. Unless you went to college to learn a specific skill (ie. doctor, engineer, lawyer), you can make more money in the next 90 days just learning sales. 7. No one cares about you. So stop being shy, go out and create your chances. 8. If you find someone smarter than you, work with them, don't compete. 9. Smoking has 0 benefit in your life. This habit will only slow your thinking and lower your focus. 10. Comfort is the worst addiction and cheap ticket to depression. 11. Don't tell people more than they need to know, respect your privacy. 12. Avoid alcohol at all cost. Nothing worse than losing your senses and acting a fool. 13. Keep your standards high and don't settle for something because it's available. 14. The family you create is more important than the family you come from. 15. Train yourself to take nothing personally to save yourself from 99.99% of mental problems.

Self-Acceptance - https://lnkd.in/e6dCSRq #burnout Will you pass gas in front of your friends and loved ones? For some the answer is a squeamish no, for others the question is met with a shrug and a timid “sure”, and occasionally you’ll get an enthusiastic “yes!” The question may seem odd or innocuous, but it may indicate something larger. It may be a pointer to whether you accept yourself – all of yourself – or not. There are certain social norms that we’re not supposed to violate, but we know that we all do. No one wants to admit their farts stink – but everyone’s has some stench. (Click below to read more.)