Year 1: Searching for Meaning
So, I am officially done with high school and what now, am I supposed to do? I was clearly not ready to enter the world of work or being a grown up and immediately went back to Fairvale High School and pleaded with the principal to allow me to repeat my final year out of sheer fear. The principal firmly chided me to “get a life”. High school in South Africa (at least back then) really did not prepare one for life out there especially when school subjects like vocational guidance were used for pranks and jokes and NOT about who and what we seek to become. Needless to say, I felt stuck without a vision, encouragement and goals.
Without a father and role models in the township Wentworth in Durban where I grew up, I found myself wanting to merely fit or blend in with the crowd. Most men took to job opportunities presented by Engen (ex-Mobil) and SAPREF (Joint venture between Shell and BP) Refineries which were our neighbours in the south of Durban. I was grateful to land a job at a SAPREF Refinery shutdown and worked for American engineering giant #Fluor as a safety watchman.
Bored and with no direction, earnings didn’t go far and quickly invited me into complacency- a life that sought to earn in order to party. In those early days, I spent time searching for meaning, trying to understand my place in life- trying this and that. I certainly empathise with many school leavers for the feelings of isolation, uncertainty and indecision. This was indeed a period of introspection, where I started learning the importance of knowing oneself. This search was meaningful in shaping my inquisitorial posture and approach to life.
The year was also marked by a momentous shift in our political landscape- in that I had the privilege of being eligible (by a mere 6 days) to vote in South Africa’s first democratic election. From then on, I knew that life as I knew it was loaded with endless possibilities, I just needed to find my… possibility.
Quote: "The only journey is the one within." — Rainer Maria Rilke
