Ari Hoffman’s Post

Today marks five years since the darkest moment of my little life to date. I went into school, like most teenagers, preparing for my exams, telling myself that the day before had just been an emotional day and I was okay. By the end,I was locked in the school nurse’s office, being signed off from school with staff telling me ‘What were you thinking? You know that’s not the answer’, and never returning back there again. I didn’t mind the rumors that went round about my mysterious disappearance; they were less gloomy than the reality of what had really happened. I wish I could’ve explained myself and said goodbye to a place I’d spent a decade at, but there was no one that would’ve missed me and years later, only two people ever knew what actually happened that day. With the support of my family and quite an extensive support team, I managed to still sit my exams on time, even if it did mean teaching myself a year of studies alone at home because the outside world felt too scary. I went back into mainstream education to continue my studies however, that didn’t last particularly long as the entire world shut down due to a pandemic which brought up a lot of uncomfortable feelings as well as slowing my progress. When the world slowly began going back to ‘normal’, it did help with things slightly but, life and recovery isn’t that linear, and I had a fair few setbacks from situations and people along the way. I could get upset with them for doing that to me, however, I was more disappointed in myself for allowing it. My life looks very different nowadays. While I still need support, I am learning to heal my relationships and myself. I now help with work and study for a degree to help individuals in similar situations and share mutual feelings, while also working for the company I used to drive past when I was little and think ‘One day, that’ll be me’. The conversations I have around my feelings are now open, and I have people around me who take the time to understand and support me; some I have met this year in particular help me more than I could imagine or explain, and I am so grateful for them. In a weird way, even those that stunted my recovery or made life more challenging, I learnt a lot from those lessons too and it showed me just how far I have come so I appreciate them too. Even things such as being able to leave the house alone without having a panic attack seemed impossible back then whereas now, I commute to one of the busiest places in the UK. I don’t write this for pity or sympathy. I share my story to highlight how time and work to heal really can transform someone’s life. That, leaving a situation that is harming you is okay and even if you have to go through an unconventional route, and no matter how other people might view it, if you’re willing to put in the work, life will still find a way to give you what you want. So here’s to celebrating a huge personal milestone for me! 🎉

What do you do for work? We are all asked that a lot… Often, for me, it's focusing on recovery—a full-time job in and of itself. Many connections here in the lived experience movement can relate to that. I’m grateful for the recovery journey thus far. I've learned a lot about people and myself. But it’s been bloody hard. I haven't been employed full-time for 20 years. Simply, I can't do it. Living with complex mental illness is incredibly draining, tiring, thought-provoking, complex, exhausting, and cathartic. But I plod along, making the best of the cards I’ve been dealt. I’m luckier than some. But I’ve also worked hard and I’ve refused to give in. I have huge news this week, but I am sworn to secrecy. I’ll fill people in mid week. But I am humbled, genuinely shocked and grateful… the pain has been worth it. I never gave up, even though I often wanted to and didn't want to be here. But I'm glad I am. I’m so thankful and humbled for the role I’m taking up—excited for change and filled, for the first time in a while, with genuine hope for the future. I am not perfect. I've gotten things wrong and caused pain, but I've been on the receiving end of it too. On platforms like this, we try to paint our best picture... it's a trap. I embrace my vulnerability and my whole story. I embrace the pain I've felt and asked for forgiveness for the pain I have caused those who love me. However, I will never well wash my life away; I won’t fill in the gaps. My dear friend Seryn Adams asked me a few weeks ago to describe my best and worst self in three words. I had to think hard, but I'm still settled with what I said. Best: loving, interested, friendly Worst: arrogant, disagreeable, but beneath that, a frightened kid who's been profoundly hurt. I’m not perfect, I’m not agreeable I’ll never pretend to be. I am just finding myself through life. Big news ahead, I’m excited and daunted. But so I should be With love Richard and Havic x

2024 has already been quite the year, and I'm afraid to say mostly for the wrong reasons. Forgive the negativity but in order to get to the positive message, well, you'll have to get through that first. A few months ago I had news that a friend of mine had passed away. He was a little older than me but not old (mid-50s), and had led what I think you can reliably call "a colourful life", but his death came as a huge shock and knocked me for six. Immediately after that, I had a cancer scare. Only took a couple of weeks to get tested and get the very fortunate news that it wasn't the Big-C but, as you can imagine, it wasn't a fun couple of weeks. Then, just days later, came the worst news. I won't go into it here because it's not my story to tell, but... well, while it's been hard for me, it's been utterly devastating for a lot of people I care about deeply. It's a cliché that tragic events make you evaluate your life, but often there's a reason why clichés exist, and as we try to navigate grief, such a personal, unpredictable, shocking thing, I've been forced to do a lot of thinking about who I am and what my impact is: - What purpose am I fulfilling? - Am I a good person? - Do I actually live my values? - Why do I do what I do for a living? Because the only thing that really matters, at the end of the day, is the experiences you have and the positive contribution that you make to those around you and to the society you live in. It's a love vs hate thing, really. 😘 / 😠 (Sorry to go all John Lennon on your ass, but it's true.) I don't yet have an answer to the questions above, although I'm getting there, and I know I need to make some changes. Like everyone, I'm a work-in-progress, not the finished article, but at least I'm trying. We can't be a better person for those we've lost - sadly that opportunity has passed - but we can be better for those that remain. And for ourselves. Going to aim to post a little more on here over the coming weeks but hopefully you can see why it's been a bit quiet recently. Love and hugs to all!

To this day, I have to take deep breaths when I walk past a skip. The thundering bangs of stuff hitting the sides create a visceral reaction inside me. It takes me back to the time my belongings were being chucked into one in my old driveway - the bangs were a horrible soundtrack to those days. I’m sharing a more intimate side of my journey today, one that doesn't fit the conventional narrative of ‘success’ or ‘achieving’, because I believe that our scars, missteps and how we recover from these hold immense value. Perhaps even more so than the shiny wins... Life, as we know, doesn't always follow the script. And I've been to rock bottom, not once but twice. The first time was as a result of the 2008 recession when I lost my home and, through the help of the aforementioned skip, we downsized to only the essentials we could fit in our tiny car. In more recent years, my path took an unexpected turn when navigating the complexities of postnatal depression and anxiety left me feeling lost, defeated, and desolate. So much slipped through my fingers and it’s been tough to come to terms with. Truth be told, I’m still trying to, as my therapist will attest to. But my recovery - overcoming, rebuilding, restoring - has been the hallmark of this New Era. A fresh chapter of reassessment, compassion, and restoring both myself and my business from the ground up. Now, I find myself holding my face to the sun again. Here's what I’ve learned and what my scars have taught me: 📖The Rule Book is Long Gone: In this New Era, I discarded the rule book and became the author of what comes next. Navigating the challenging terrain of recovery, I reconstructed the pieces of my life through the New Era framework ♥️Courage and Authentic Ambition: It's tempting to follow the crowd, but what if we question the ambitions we've inherited? I faced myself at my worst and my best, learning the power of authentic ambition 🦁Lions Always Bounce Back: Courage, the heart of a lion, allows us to confront what's not working and admit mistakes. In vulnerability, lies the power to become unstoppable - we always bounce back stronger, wiser, and ready for the next leap 🫂Embrace Success, Don't Cling to It: Holding our version of success is important, but not too tightly. Life surprises us when we allow for flexibility and resilience. Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast I'm excited to bring everything I have learned - and keep learning - to facilitating my New Era Mastermind. Are you ready to join a journey that meets you wholly where youy are, embraces your imperfections and weaves these into gold? Find out more here: https://lnkd.in/excJe5qP Remember, when you join before midnight this Wednesday you’ll save £2000. Love Lucy x

2023 started off on a terrible note for me, but as it continued I learned and grew so much, here are some things I feel like sharing!   Grief is a useful, but an uncomfortable portal: When we lose the most important person in our lives, our reality changes, slips, and we enter this new world, learning a new way to live, think, and continue without them. It feels like grabbing for hope in different sections of your mind, and sometimes there’s a bit of inspiration in there. Ultimately “life goes on” and at any moment we are called to enter a new chapter. So, the importance of taking care of our health and wellness is crucial, being that life can go upside down at any time.   Life and Materialism, a new view: Most of my professional life, I didn't care much about my personal finance decisions, not that I had a spending problem, but it wasn't the detail/care that someone with two finance degrees should have. The end of 2022 and half of 2023 were great for me, but coming into this section of finding work, I started looking at the minutia of spending decisions and how wealth is also about how you carefully expense things and manage your cost of living.      That album you always wanted to write: We get to a certain age, and we stop dreaming because the reality is most of us don’t make a living on what we would truly love to do. I always wanted to write an album and finish it. In doing so, I was able to find a “work” that I could do, all day every day, and not be overwhelmed. Does it pay the bills, no, could it one day? I’m not sure, but to learn the difference between a real admiration for work vs. the passion we must find for most of our work is a good lesson because it created an emotional marker related to work.   Health Should be #1: Encountering the massive stress of work + dying grandparent + poor habits = not a good place. And I never felt pain like I did when I watched my grandfather go through the death process. It was only from that kind of intense pain that I wanted to change myself 100% top to bottom in handling stress. I fell in love with running again, I’ve lost 15-18 lbs. this year, I went pescatarian, got off most social media (not this lol), quitting coffee, and it’s a never-ending quest to find betterment and stay positive on what we can control. I kind of think like, how can I be most durable for whatever presents itself in the future. Each of those things weren’t all at once, small incremental phases that added up over time.     The importance of “spirituality”: I’m not sure what your go-to stress relief technique is, but some pivotal points in my year were found during these deep 2-hour meditation sessions. The information and realizations from that practice were so pivotal. The “I wish I’d stop doing A or B” just started to happen. It’s kind of weird.

I have a serious question for you. If you died tomorrow, would you be able to say that you lived the life you always wanted…or felt the feelings you’ve always desired? If you were brutally honest…would you actually be able to say you did EVERYTHING you could to live your happiest and highest expression of your inner being? That you didn’t just keep avoiding the thing, running away, ruminating, wondering, or left yourself with a bunch of ‘what ifs’….or knowing you were continuously doing things you didn’t ACTUALLY want to do. Instead…you left a legacy, a footprint, and fully expressed your: -Ambition -Drive -Curiosity -Passion -Inner knowing -Go getter -Eagerness -Willingness -The best version of you That you committed to extreme ownership of your life and weren’t left feeling: -Unfulfilled -Overwhelmed -Exhausted -Regretful -Frustrated knowing your potential & not actualizing it -Disheartened, wondering if you’ll ever reach your potential -Resistant…knowing what needs to be done but being too scared to do it -Disconnected & misaligned yet just continuing to put up with it -Like you got so caught up, that you lost sight of what actually mattered. ——— What if you could feel: -REAWAKENED & LIBERATED, like nothing could stop you -EMPOWERED & CONVICTED, making choices that you ACTUALLY want to make -ALIGNED & CONNECTED to the bigger picture of what really matters in life. Do you realize that what you’re doing at any moment is something that someone was doing when they died?…Eating dinner, driving to work, on a plane, in their sleep. Everyone who took their last breath, never knew it was going to be their last one. Most people just REFUSE to change until they hit a point of desperation. They’ll run away, they’ll avoid the work, numb the feelings, make the excuse, rationalize, justify, hide. Mainly becuse of fear. It’s a paralyzer. Imagine if we never died, you’d just live your life like you’ve got unlimited time to do whatever you want…that EVENTUALLY you’ll do the thing because there’s literally no rush. Yet, this is how most people live their lives…as if they have unlimited time. But the truth is…you do not. Start acting like it.

Thriving Beyond Separation or Loss 🌟 If you've ever grappled with the anguish of parting ways with a loved one or carried the weight of loss in your life, you're not navigating this journey alone. On this very day last year, I received a call notifying me that my dad was being urgently taken to the hospital. Shock washed over me, as I hadn't spoken to him earlier that Sunday – a ritual I maintained each week. Minutes crawled by, and I anxiously awaited news of his stabilization. However, after about 45 minutes, a chilling call conveyed the heartbreaking reality that he had passed away. Oh, Death, why did you revisit us exactly 20 years after claiming my mother? I wept, but I knew I had to summon strength for my siblings and the entire family, being the only son. It felt like my world had crumbled, leaving me with a profound sense of emptiness, grief, and uncertainty. Indeed, life often leads us through challenging chapters of separation or loss, leaving us adrift and uncertain. But here's the truth: within the depths of my experiences, there was a remarkable opportunity for growth, transformation, and rediscovery. I embarked on the following steps: Embrace My Feelings: It's okay to grieve, to feel lost, and to confront emotions head-on. Embracing these feelings is the initial step towards healing. Rediscover Myself: Separation or loss can often lead to self-neglect. Reconnecting with your passions, interests, and dreams that define who you are is crucial. Set New Goals: Rebuilding your life involves establishing fresh goals and crafting a vision for your future that ignites excitement. As you embark on this journey of healing and self-discovery, you'll find yourself not merely surviving but thriving. Emerging from the ashes, you'll be stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before. Your life will serve as a testament to your capacity for growth and transformation.

RECLAIM YOUR LIFE Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes the downs can feel bottomless pit. I know this all too well. For years, I was stuck in a cycle of victimhood, defined by the traumas I had endured. I continuously sabotaged my own efforts to improve my life. But every victim needs to hit rock bottom to realize that the only way left is up. For me, rock bottom came when the weight of my failures became unbearable. It was the wake-up call I needed. My identity as a victim had become a comfortable cage, and I needed to break free. This journey of transformation wasn’t quick nor easy. I had to acknowledge my past traumas and believe in my ability to overcome them. One crucial tool in my recovery was Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT). RTT helped me identify and change the deep-seated beliefs that kept me trapped in the victim cycle. Through RTT sessions, I confronted and reprogrammed the subconscious patterns dictating my self-sabotaging behaviors. With the help of RTT and a strong support network, I rebuilt my self-esteem and developed a more positive self-identity. I now approach new opportunities with a renewed sense of purpose, chose goals that aligned with my values, and applied the knowledge I gained. My journey from a self-identified victim to a resilient individual has been transformative. I've learned that even the darkest moments hold the potential for growth. By hitting rock bottom, I was able to rebound to heights I had never imagined. The key was breaking the cycle of victimhood, taking responsibility for my life, and using the lessons from my past to build a better future. Embrace the lessons from your failures, seek support, and believe in your ability to overcome. Download my "Guidebook to Your Extraordinary Life" for FREE! This guide is packed with the tools and insights that helped me turn my life around. Don't wait—this offer is only available for a limited time before I start charging for it. Message me for your link to download the Guidebook.

The Impact of Family Conditions on Personal Growth: A Journey of Loss and Resilience Seven months ago, my world turned upside down. I was thriving in my career, working for one of the top companies in the industry, envisioning a future of success and fulfillment. But then, in a moment that felt like eternity, I lost my father, right before my eyes. Suddenly, everything I had worked for seemed insignificant, and the once-promising path ahead appeared bleak and uncertain. In the midst of my grief, I turned to the organization I had dedicated so much of myself to, hoping for support and understanding. However, what I encountered was a cold and indifferent environment, where the relentless pursuit of professional goals overshadowed any semblance of compassion or empathy for personal struggles. Tasks that were once my passion now felt like burdens, weighing heavily on my already burdened heart. As I struggled to navigate the complexities of managing both my family's needs and the demands of my job, I found myself at a crossroads. Despite the familiarity and comfort of my current situation, I knew deep down that I needed a change. The memories associated with my workplace had become intertwined with the pain of loss, making it difficult to find solace in the routine of daily life. After much contemplation, I made the difficult decision to move on. I realized that in order to truly heal and grow, I needed to break free from the confines of my past and embrace the possibility of a fresh start. While the prospect of leaving behind what was familiar was daunting, I knew that it was necessary for my own well-being and personal development. Leaving behind the pain and sorrow of the past, I embarked on a new journey filled with hope and possibility. Although the road ahead may be uncertain, I am filled with a newfound sense of resilience and determination. I have learned that while family conditions may shape our experiences, it is ultimately our response to adversity that defines our growth and strength. As I move forward, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the support of those who have stood by me through the darkest of times. While the wounds of loss may never fully heal, I am committed to honoring my father's memory by living a life filled with purpose and resilience. In conclusion, my journey serves as a testament to the profound impact that family conditions can have on personal growth. In the face of adversity, it is our ability to adapt, persevere, and seek out new opportunities for growth that ultimately shapes our path forward.#personaldevelopment #organizationalculture #hrbusiness #strongmindset