Adam Grant’s Post

This is about how to use feedback to improve yourself.

Having recently completed coaching training that included a session on emotional intelligence (EQ), this resonates with me. I learned that the experience of receiving — and giving — critical feedback causes the same physiological response as physical pain. So the deliverer AND receiver of critical feedback are suffering here, although the deliverer (usually the manager) isn’t sympathized with. Receiving critical feedback is important. The alternative is your manager lets you persist in error, hurting your own prospects and your organization in the process. Lose-lose. I’ve spent over a decade (started in 2010) studying and practicing the tenets of Stoicism, which comprises impulse control and emotional intelligence, among other things. Fortunately, this is familiar for me. I remember when, years ago, I had a manager who courageously delivered some critical feedback to me. I could see in their face that they were incredibly uncomfortable doing this. I was uncomfortable too. I could feel the sensations that define a “fight or flight” response welling up in my body. Present and aware of this, my first response was “First of all, thank you for doing the uncomfortable and sharing this feedback with me. I know it’s not fun and I appreciate your choosing to do this for my benefit.” Their guard was lowered (seeing then that I wasn’t going to have an emotionally-charged response) and we productively dug into the details of the feedback. All was well and I learned from the experience. And, dare say, my rapport with my then manager improved through the interaction. Don’t shoot the messenger when your manager gives you critical feedback. It’s bo fun for them either and it’s for your benefit. #management #growth #personaldevelopment #stoicism

More practical wisdom from Adam Grant:

You can't change that first score, however what you can do is determine what you are going to do differently that will change your performance in the future.

The higher leaders progress up the ladder of responsibility, the fewer people there are who are willing to point out that we don't do something well, and the less motivation there is to listen to those who do. A willingness to admit mistakes or failure and accept the criticism of others is a sign of emotional resilience, maturity, and self-awareness. Feedback is an opportunity. Failure isn't forever. But growth only comes from accepting our own (current) limitations and maximizing the value of the lessons when we fall short. #leaders #leadership #managers #management #EmotionalIntelligence #EQ #SelfAwareness #criticism #feedback #FeedbackIsAGift #grit #EmotionalResilience #maturity

Embracing feedback can lead to increased self-awareness, enhanced skills, and ultimately, success in achieving your goals. So, don't shy away from feedback - welcome it as a gift that can help you reach your full potential.

Love this message from Adam. The words are easy...the actions are very hard. Taking tough feedback and processing through the emotions to get to the point of 'what do I need to learn from this?' - and then acting on it is a difficult process of self-discovery. Doing it in a way that they leads to you giving yourself a 'second score' is a great way to incorporate that process in the self-learning journey.

The key to proving oneself is by demonstrating a commitment to self-improvement.

Delivering bad news is never easy, but scorn for the delivery person is no way to better a bad result. Take the news and learn how to do better next time. Adam Grant shows us just how it should be done. #liveandlearn #successfromfailure #feedback #constructive #bepositive #adversityteaches

Insightful perspective, and great advice for personal and career growth.