What can you do if you say or do the wrong thing?

- So the main thing you have to be okay with if you're going to be an inclusive person and make connections across difference is that you're going to make mistakes. It is not a mistake-free process. So like if you are like a perfectionist, this is really not your gig, right? So this is really not about perfection. This is about connection. And when you connect and maybe you haven't connected before, you're sometimes going to say the wrong thing. This is what I say. If you say the wrong thing, apologize. Apologize. And if someone is kind enough to share with you the impact of your statement on them, see it as a gift. See it as an opportunity to maybe change something or maybe it was the tone of your voice or maybe it's what you said before you said that thing, but the person is giving you information. Usually, what I hear is that when someone says, hey, that was really offensive. Someone goes, well, that's not what I meant, that's not what I meant, you got it wrong! You're being overly sensitive, you know. What you have to be willing to say is oh shoot, I did? I'm sorry. And you might ask what should I have said or what was the impact. The difference between your intent and your impact is significant, and you have to be interested in both. Not just going on and on about your intent, but also saying what do you mean? What was the impact? What did I do wrong? How does it feel? Because the empathy is really important to know what it feels like to be on the other end of your statement. I also think that when people make mistakes they do this thing where they just it just hurts their sense of self so much that they withdrawal. Do not withdrawal if you make a mistake. In fact, if you make a mistake, move closer. So that the person knows truly that your intent was positive. Because if you withdrawal it's sort of like adding insult to injury. And then the other thing I think is start learning. Just sometimes you're like, wow, I need to understand more about people with disabilities, like what the right language is. I need to know how to be in this environment so you go look on, there are all sorts of information now. You can look online, you can read things. So there's no excuse really. I also think you can talk to someone who maybe knows a situation better or a group of people better, and maybe they're just like you, but they've got more experience and so you can talk to them. What's the right way to say this? Or I had this particular situation happen. I stepped in it, and I want to do better the next time, what do you suggest I do? So there are lots of things to do, but the most important thing when you make a mistake is stay engaged, learn from the mistake and grow.