You’re negotiating a contract and the other party is being difficult. How can you stay calm and in control?

In my experience, there are 3 main strategies in managing difficult counter-party: 1. Prepare a summary of the project/transaction layout with a clear aim of what is the conclusion of the negotiation. So everyone can circle back to the focus area and avoid the unnecessary drama of "I want to win this game", it is a negotiation, not the Olympics. 2. Have a checklist of things you can compromise in the negotiation, meaning you are willing to let the other have it so that you will avoid unnecessary arguments of "I am in control and I must have this". 3. Prepare some due diligence on who you dealing with and understand the room dynamic. Understand everyone's role in the negotiation room. Get the room dynamic and you will be in control.

It’s important to be prepared prior to any negotiations especially important ones. In order to do so: 1. You need to understand the other party/ies cultural compass. 2. Deep knowledge of the other party/ies firm culture. 3. To be aware of the other party/ies position as well as his/her expected KPIs. Sales person KPIs is different from CTO ones. The above will help you a lot in managing your expectations, ways to deal with, mange your emotions, and achieve your goals.

Always be prepared to walk away Nothing is so important that you have to do it. Let the silence do the work. Sometimes saying nothing is saying more

Firstly "Being difficult" is a subjective and potentially emotive response. A negotiation is always a judgement on risk and reward. If you can manage the risk for the right reward then how "difficult" the other person is being is irrelevant. That is unless one of the risks is that they are "too difficult" - if you are finding it hard to negotiate and find the win win, is it a relationship that you should be chasing?

1. Humans negotiate, not companies. Humans are driven by emotions and many factors lead to they acting in a specific manner. The only thing that can keep them on track while negotiating is "clarity on end objective". Writing down end objective unambiguously is the first step to fruitful negotiations. 2. Discussions should be focused towards progress not victory. That changes the mindset.

In my experience I have learnt the most about active listening during telephonic negotiations. A few insights to master this underestimated skill. Put yourself in the other person's shoes: Paraphrasing their points, asking clarifying questions, and responding with empathy are all effective ways to show you're actively engaged in the conversation. Listen for emotions as well as words: Often, the other person's emotions can give you clues about their motivations and priorities. Avoid multitasking: To be an effective listener, focus on the conversation at hand and avoid distractions like email or other work tasks. This can help you catch subtle cues and nuances that might otherwise be missed.

While you pursue your goals, respect that your counterparty is also there to attain their objectives. Listening is fundamental to trying to assess what those are, and the drivers behind those objectives. If you do not show you are listening actively, there is no reason for the counterparty to share more than surface details of what they want. Without the deeper details, you will have difficulty tailoring mutually acceptable solutions to potential deadlock issues.

I usually listen more than I speak. When allowing all parties speak their mind, the parameters of the conversation become clear. There are exceptions where you want to set the parameters, so speaking first can be a good approach based on your goals. In either case, listening actively is important because if done right, you will hear what is not being said. This will allow you to effectively manoeuvre the conversation to achieve your goals, or get the message across.

A key attitude in a negotiation is to make an effort to understand the other party's concerns and needs and look for win - win solutions for both parties. Sometimes one has to make some concessions in order to achieve the ultimate goal of a sucessful agreement.

Be present. Actively set aside your known distractors to allow yourself to actively listen. Staying in the moment will also help to control your emotions and maintain your mental focus.

The prime thing is to keep calm and be an active listener. Most negotiations go kaput since either of the party feels they are not being heard or understood. It’s imperative to let the person across the table be heard, know that there is an acknowledgement to his or her objective. Once heard, there are likely to be less clashes and the conversation is smoother.

My best experience on this was working for a partner ( Peter Hockless) at 3am in the morning in Moscow on a tough deal. Very politely stating he couldn’t understand and asking the other party to explained. It was genuine but also genius negotiation. Per Steven Covey- first seek to understand then be understood. Moves away from positions.

This is absolutely important. One must keep the own ego aside and respond rationally. I have been called for negotiations and kept waiting for over 12 hours. I could have walked away. But I played along and finally won the order.

Temos de abraçar as objeções do cliente, entender o ponto fraco do produto ou da empresa que atuamos é mais importante que dominarmos o nosso ponto forte, não adianta varrer o problema para de baixo do tapete. Ao receber a objeção responda "obrigado por tocar neste assunto, já iria abordar este assunto com você" argumentar somente depois de acolher.

Remember that this is just ONE deal (of hopefully many) and that no one deal is worth losing control of your emotions over. Be self aware enough to take a pause before responding - sometimes I'll simply go for a walk outside or take a coffee break so I can gather my thoughts and remove any personal frustrations before responding to a rough negotiator.

However, it is important to be aware of your own party's absolute limits, even if you don't have to disclose them directly. And it is important to sound out whether what the other side states as a hard limit is really non-negotiable. It may just be a starting point.

Pivoting the negotiation to a more collaborative rather than confrontational exercise is a key tactic to aligning the parties on the shared goal of getting the deal done in a win:win manner. Doing so will allow both parties to typically help each other find a reasonable accommodation on the pinch points. It's also a key building block for developing trust that will underpin future business relations between the parties once the deal is signed.

Para que una negociación sea efectiva y beneficiosa , ambas partes deben ser ganadoras. Atrás quedaron las ideas que el cliente tiene el poder o el mayor beneficio , todo logro es estratégico y si tú proveedores está contento , pues el trabajo se realiza con una mayor confiabilidad . Si el logro , y el benéficio es bueno para ambos . Es una negociación correcta para la empresa .

There is always room for flexibility but that can happen if you know your business, subject matter of the business and the end result. It is often difficult to give up a position but you can give up the position if you are looking at the bigger picture and walking in shoes of your opposing counsel and meeting on the middle ground.

Create a number of options together with the negotiating party. Creat options to satisfy both parties' interests. Focus energies on creating options and evaluate later. Be open to negotiation do not walk in with an answer to a solution.

What I find it work well is to really understand the other party’s concerns and let them know what your concerns are. Be open, understand their concerns and once that is established, you are in a better position to find a mutually acceptable terms that work for both parties.

Some of the counsels I have negotiated with in the past, forget that we are negotiating a contract and not arguing in a court. What we need to understand is we are not opponents but are on the same side and trying to get into business. There are instances I had to spell this out to the other Party! Once we understand the purpose and start thinking from that perspective, we are sure to come up with win-win solutions. The best part of negotiation that I love is getting at a middle ground that is beneficial to both the Parties. This is the phase where we get creative, think through the risks, balance the risk and benefits.

Negotiation is coming to an agreement, and not a contest of who wins. Find the value in the opportunity not the differences.

In my experience, it is always best to approach any conversation and negotiation with an earnest desire to collaborate. A one-sided approach leads to cognitive dissonance, animosity, resentment and further opposition from the other party. In contrast, a spirit of achieving mutually beneficial outcomes leads to more cooperation, giving and a willingness to concede. In the end, collaboration always wins in any situation!

I couldn’t agree more, Walter, negotiations are about value creation for a win-win outcome. Collaboration is key to achieve a win-win where both parties understand what is important to each and hence seek to maximise value for both. I agree that it’s perfectly reasonable to walk away from value destruction negotiations with a win-lose outcome. The long-term outcome from such is loss of trust, goodwill, relationships, and ultimately loss of business.

Victor, So simply put and yet so true. I think the hardest one is ‘Insight into the clients situation’ we often make way too many assumptions that we do not take the time and effort to validate.

Few of the ways to ensure a lively environment while carrying out negotiations are: a) add humor to the discussion to keep it engaging; b) keep the smile on; c) give examples to explain the rationale; d) keep the discussion to the point and focused; e) empathise with the other side's views and accept if the points made are backed by logic and practical challenges; f) allow the other side reasonable time to think through on the point or suggestion made to them; g) be respectable while extending the views. These are some of the ways to have a fruitful discussion and ensure a successful negotiation.

Negotiation is the most important aspect of a contract. Can be the deal breaker or maker. Negotiation is a two way street. Put your feet down where needed but also keep this in mind that the Business will be impacted Sometimes it's about taking the risk for the business while highlighting the red flags. As a lawyer add value, help businesses. Think as a lawyer & from the side of the clients! Smile, connect to humans, as humans and not robots & crack the deal.

I act as if my children are watching. One of the best pieces of advice I have received is to act like the person your children think you are. It is the flip-side of not having your grandmother read about what you did on the front page of a newspaper.

Having clarity about what is negotiable and what is a dealbreaker for your client is essential. Remember that it is possible to remain polite while being assertive. Don’t react, but respond to the arguments of the other side, particularly when the opposite counsel is acting aggressive. It is not a fight, both sides are trying to reach an agreement that’s beneficial to both sides, ultimately that’s what will ensure that the terms are in fact honoured by each side.