What are some strategies for managing conflict between family members about an inheritance?

1 Identify the sources of conflict

The first step to managing conflict is to understand what is causing it. Inheritance disputes can arise from various factors, such as different expectations, values, needs, emotions, or relationships. For example, some family members may feel entitled to a larger share of the estate, while others may feel excluded or ignored. Some may have financial difficulties or debts, while others may have emotional attachments or sentimental reasons for wanting certain items. Some may have a close bond with the deceased, while others may have unresolved issues or conflicts. By identifying the sources of conflict, you can help the family members recognize their own and each other's perspectives, motivations, and interests.

3 Explore options for resolution

Exploring possible options for resolution is the third step in managing conflict. Inheritance disputes can be resolved in various ways, such as negotiation, mediation, arbitration, and litigation. Each of these has its own advantages and disadvantages, such as cost, time, control, privacy, and relationship impact. It's important to help the family members evaluate these factors and select the option that best suits their situation and goals. Negotiation involves direct communication between family members to find a voluntary agreement. Mediation involves a neutral third party to facilitate communication and reach a collaborative solution. Arbitration requires a neutral third party to make a binding decision on how to divide the estate. Litigation takes the dispute to court where a judge or jury decides the outcome of the case.

4 Support the implementation and follow-up

The fourth step to managing conflict is to support the family members in implementing and following up on the agreed resolution. Depending on the option chosen, this may involve drafting and signing a contract, obtaining legal advice or approval, distributing the assets, or complying with the court order. You can help the family members monitor the progress and outcomes of the resolution, address any issues or challenges that may arise, and provide feedback and reinforcement. You can also help them cope with any emotional or psychological effects of the resolution, such as grief, relief, regret, or satisfaction.

5 Promote healing and reconciliation

The fifth step to managing conflict is to promote healing and reconciliation among the family members. Inheritance disputes can cause deep wounds, especially if they involve betrayal, deception, or manipulation. To help the family members heal and reconcile, you should encourage them to express and release any negative emotions, apologize and forgive each other for any hurtful words or actions, appreciate and celebrate each other's strengths and contributions, recognize and respect each other's differences and boundaries, communicate and cooperate with each other on ongoing or future matters, and rebuild and restore trust and intimacy among each other. These steps can help bring the family closer together.

6 Seek professional help if needed

The sixth and final step to managing conflict is to seek professional help if needed. Inheritance disputes can be overwhelming and stressful for the family members, so it may be beneficial for them to get additional support or guidance from experts. If they experience severe emotional distress, communication issues, legal or financial complications, or violence, abuse, or coercion from any of the parties involved, you can help them find the right resources such as counselors, therapists, lawyers, financial advisors, or protection services. This can help them resolve their dispute effectively and peacefully.