How do you use feedback to improve your public speaking confidence and style?

Listen to what people say — but it's equally important to listen for what they *don't* say. An example: After I give a talk, audience members often approach me and share the parts of my talk that resonated with them the most. That's great to hear — but I'm also eager to hear which parts they don't mention. What did I say that was ignored? What got overshadowed by better material? That's a signal: It's time to take that ignored stuff out, and replace it with new material that could resonate more.

Public speaking - we all want to nail it, right? But, hey, feedback's like a buffet. You've gotta be picky or you'll leave with a stomach ache. Think of it this way: Would you ask a fish how to climb a tree? 🐟🌳 Of course not! So, get feedback from folks who've climbed that public speaking mountain. They'll show you the ropes and won't just tell you to speak louder. Now, imagine having a warm, supportive crowd every time you take the mic. It's like being the lead singer at your favorite concert. Just you, the spotlight, and a sea of supportive faces, cheering you on. Choose your feedback sources wisely, folks. It’s the difference between singing in the shower and belting it out at Madison Square Garden!

EVERY single time I deliver a keynote or workshop, I ask for feedback or I ask if they have a feedback mechanism in place. When folks come to me and say they "loved my talk" I still ask them "tell what you liked and what was missing". Having people who love your talk is a great method for reflective and thoughtful feedback. That said, never focus on feedback from one person, but rather a theme that emerges over several or over time.

The best feedback source to start with? Yourself. The #1 way to improve your public speaking is to record yourself practicing. Think about it... The best athletes study their game film. They carefully review plays and look for missteps in order to improve. Do the same. Record your run-through. Specifically watch for: - Where you’re looking - What your hands are doing - How quickly you’re speaking - Your filler words

Not every speaker is for every person. That was a tough - but necessary - lesson for me to learn. I solicit and listen to all feedback. While it's great to hear the really positive, it's the constructive -and sometimes brutal - criticism that can help with growth the most. And not in the way you might think. Really tough, irrelevant feedback from a person you don't know may not help your public speaking, but it will prepare you to receive negative feedback. And that's a skill itself.

Don't overwhelm yourself trying to address every critique at once. Pick 1-2 focused areas to work on at a time. Practice your improvements through videotaped rehearsals or presentations to small groups. Occasionally seek new perspectives through peer or audience feedback to spot any regressions. Continuous improvement is ongoing.

Record the feedback. There is so much that you need to consider: the audience you were speaking to, the time of day, the agenda etc. When you keep a living breathing doc with all of this information you can take emotion out of it and understand it objectively. The better your questions are on the initial pre-event call the better your feedback will get on the back end. Put yourself in the audiences shoes ahead of time, during the talk and when you are done. Everyone that is taking chances and putting themselves out there is getting better daily. See it as an opportunity to grow and feel proud of the example you are setting for others. Save an album on your phone of FAM LOVE store all of the beautiful notes that people send you there

Focusing on your successful experiences and reminding yourself of times when you demonstrated the ability to accept and use feedback constructively can help you see the feedback more objectively.

I’d love to give a different angle on feedback which had a profound impact on my public speaking. In the early days of public speaking, a colleague encouraged me to record myself into my phone as if I was giving the speech to the camera. Watching the recording back was cringy, uncomfortable and painful, but in doing so, this powerful, visual observational feedback enabled me to see how others saw me presenting. This experience gave me huge insight and awareness of my delivery and enabled me to refine and optimise all aspects from non verbal, hand gestures, intonation, facial expressions and energy. Since then, I have continued to share this technique with many others, helping them to enhance their public speaking and presence. ✨

When receiving feedback it is so easy to focus on the negative comments. While it’s important to see where to improve it’s as equally important to focus on the positive responses. I had a mentor once explain to me that the positive comments are what makes you a unique and by focusing on what you did well and expanding on that area will make you a more memorable speaker.

As researcher Jim Knight says, video will help you get a clear picture of your current reality. A video of yourself in action allows you to shift away from depending on your (very biased) memory of the events and toward a deep understanding of what actually happened. Watching yourself on video isn't just a good idea, it's backed by decades of research.

Many of us have learned the SBI (situation, behavior, impact) model for GIVING feedback, but this can help ELICIT useful feedback as well. It's also a great tool for eliciting useful feedback. Let's imagine that a trusted colleague says to you, "Your presentation to the leadership team didn't go so well." You've been given the situation (meeting with leadership team), but the behavior and impact are unclear. You could respond, "Thank you for the feedback. I want to understand what you're saying, so I can improve. Can you tell me specific things I said or did and what impact those behaviors had on the leadership team?"

Great advice! One thing that helps me is recording myself speaking and then going back over the video afterwards to improve my positioning and presentation the next time around.

This is key for any big speaking opportunity. Doing a run-through with a few trusted coworkers was the most valuable phase of preparation for a conference presentation I had a few years ago. They were brutally honest - I needed to dramatically slow down, and should work on my confidence with a few power poses before starting. If I waited until after the real thing to get that feedback, it would've been demoralizing — at that point, it's too late to improve and you want to feel good about how it went! Having that chance for actionable constructive feedback, rather than an after-the-fact reflection, gives you the best shot at continuously improving your skills and taking pride in your progress.

Whilst I enjoy delivering workshops and keynotes, my favourite part of the process is the post-delivery reflection. My feedback constants are: 1️⃣ What went well? 2️⃣ What could we do better? 3️⃣ Pre-event, could I do anything differently? 4️⃣ Are there any best practices that I can use again? Whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s or 70s… We all have blind spots we can improve on.